The teacher must be from foot to head cleanly washed and smoothly shaved, in a factory tricycle costume, no manicures, pedicures and intimate haircuts, the hair is smoothly licked and assembled in a bunch after the scarf, with a certificate from a therapist, surgeon, cosmetologist, venereologist and psychiatrist (and must present these certificates to parents at the first request), as well as with a stamp on the forehead, permitted to work, morally clean, no tattoo and piercing. Exiting any room, the teacher should turn off the lights (we save electricity), entering somewhere to greet everyone "Hello, children!", should always know what Petrov smokes, with whom Kozlov's mother sleeps and where Baranov goes at night and be sure to take Baranov from there before the start of the command hour. You may have an innocently conceived, unhealthy, ingenious child. At the crossroads, the teacher always monitors that no one goes through the red light, closing the road in case of breastfeeding, in public transportation drives young people from sitting seats, in the rows always stands the last (giving a place to retirees, pregnant, sick and showing, thus, everyone an example of moral behavior). And all the salary should be given to the hungry children of Africa. Not forgetting to write out a couple of kilograms of newspapers.

Some people even see a family circle as a target.

A winner who knows no victory.

There is no mistake in the title of the article. The most expensive, most pretentious force in the world, the American Delta Force – the Delta Force – is at the same time the most unsuccessful and notorious.

“It’s all gone to hell,” U.S. President Jimmy Carter cried out and threw the phone. It can be understood: he just received a report that the special forces operation authorized by him on the territory of a sovereign foreign country ended in failure. And now he himself threatened to fail in the next presidential election.
On November 4, 1979, a group of Tehran University students, outraged by Washington's illegal actions, took the U.S. embassy in Tehran, taking 53 of its employees hostage. In exchange for the release of the hostages, students demanded President Carter's extradition of the escaped Iranian Shah and the return of the wealth looted by the Shah. When the U.S. government was convinced that diplomatic settlement measures (i.e. threats and blackmail) had no impact on Tehran, it was decided to let the fist go.
Studying the Iranians was entrusted to the superelite of the U.S. Armed Forces - the special unit "Delta" under the command of Colonel Charles Beckwit, a "cool guy" who seemed to have come down from the movies of the Hollywood fighter about Rambo. Veteran of Vietnam, the "green beret", hanging medals from neck to belt, Beckwit with his own hands created and prepared the "Delta" at the peak of his rivals, English special forces from the 22nd regiment of the Special Airborne Service - 22SAS, a legendary squad that has many brilliant victories on its account.
“Charlie,” observed gently Brigadier Calvert, 22SAS commander, visiting the Delta, “I am afraid your guys have too many muscles...
Beckwit preferred not to hear Calvert's voice (well, the Yankees were the coolest of all!And in vain.
Operation Eagle Knife began on April 24, 1980. Eight transport and landing helicopters SN-53 "Sherebets" and the same number of strike AN-6 launched from the deck of the aircraft carrier "Forrestol", cruising in the Persian Gulf, and took the course to the point "desert-1" - an abandoned English airport halfway to Tehran. Soon to them joined 8 transport aircraft S-130 "Hercules" with landers and additional fuel on board, taking off from the aerodrome of Masir (Oman). Since the range of the helicopters was insufficient, in the "desert-1" they had to refuel from the "Hercules" and take on board the desanters. Further, the helicopters flew to the point "desert-2" - old salt cops 80 km from Tehran. According to the plan of the operation, in the night of April 26, the special forces with the fire support of AN-6 had to take the embassy by assault, release the hostages and with them to retreat to the Tehran stadium, from where the entire company would be taken by the "cravings".
- 50 to 50 - if the equipment and people will work as they need, - assessed the plan mentioned above brigadier Calvert.
did not work.
To begin with, one "Rebec" crashed into the water right on board the aircraft carrier. The second lost in the dark and preferred to return. The third sat in the desert. Thus, without a single shot, the group of transport helicopters reduced to a dangerous limit: in order to take all the hostages and landers, Beckwit needed a minimum of 4 CH-53, taking into account possible losses from anti-aircraft fire. Meanwhile, the boxes continued to climb on each other.
The intelligence swore and worshiped that the "desert-1" is really a desert, i.e. a completely deserted place. In reality, there is a busy highway nearby! The nerves of the "supermen", apparently, have already begun to give up, because the Delta did not come up with anything smarter than to shoot a passing gas car in order to block the road. The raised pillar of the flame was visible from a distance of 70 km! If the surrounding Iranian garrisons until now slept asleep in the sleep of the righteous, the fire burned by the Americans precisely crushed them from their beds. Especially because the driver of the gasoline car managed to hit the passing lighthouse. The Delta persecuted him on motorcycles, but did not catch, shot, but did not hit. The reality is becoming less and less like a Hollywood advertisement.
Meanwhile, there was work at the airport. When refueling the helicopters it turned out that the hose was short, and since the tractor was not at the disposal of the squadron, of course, the helicopters had to go to the tankers by their course. At the same time, one of the "chesters" with the blades of his screw rubbed on the fuel tank of "Hercules".
Now the fire was visible, probably even from Tehran! Both cars burned to the ground together with the crew (8 dead), 4 desanters received heavy burns. For the thin nervous system of the American Rambo, it turned out to be a drop that filled the cup. In front of the eyes of "the coolest guys in the world" already stood the picture of armoured cars burning to the airfield, and fighting face to face with the armoured Iranian motorcycle infantry, having six years of experience in the toughest war behind their shoulders, the delta people didn't smile - it's not about students to shoot. With his teeth scratched, Colonel Beckwit ordered the helicopters to be dropped and the heels to be mowed.
Said is done. The mantra of the Yankees at this point clearly turned into a real panic, because in a rushing escape nobody even took care to burn the correct helicopters! So they got the Iranian army - with weapons, super-secret instruments and equally secret documents of Operation "The Eagle Knife" - on the thrill of the whole world. So, let us repeat, President Carter can be understood...
Beckwit for this failure was early retired, but the fortune of the Delta did not add. Again and again, with surprising persistence, Beckwit's pets managed to fail the tasks set before them. They were beaten in Asia, Africa and Latin America; in Europe they were not beaten just because the Delta was not involved there. After the next failure at Grenada, the American commander, General Norman Schwarzkopf, publicly swore that he would no longer agree to involve the Delta in the operations he directed! However, when it was time to invade Iraq, the general was still broken to connect the Delta to the search for Iraqi ballistic missiles, it must be assumed, in order to rehabilitate the many dishonested special forces. Shaking his heart, Schwarzkopf agreed - and the delta brilliantly confirmed his rightness: the only raid with their participation ended in another defeat...
To this day, the Delta Force remains the only special unit in the world of a major power that does not have any noticeable achievements in its asset. The paradox?
At one time, the author of these lines commanded a reconnaissance group of marine special forces - divers divers, or, in general, "fighting swimmers". At the height of the “reconstruction” in our part with an unofficial friendly visit arrived our opponents-colleagues – American combat sailors from the repeatedly advertised group of special forces of the U.S. Navy SEAL, “Marine cats”. The program of the visit provided for the holding, so to speak, a friendly match - competitions in shooting, sports orientation and overcoming the strip of obstacles. And nothing happened!
The standards for the shooting training of our guests were so low that it was simply uncomfortable for our time-fighters to compete with them: it is not good to offend the little ones. Our short-handed gun fighter Makarov must put the bullet in the bullet from a distance of 25 m, and the professional Yankees from the long-walled "beretta" must simply hit the target (no matter where) from 10 m. Therefore, the shooter "duel" had to be quietly put aside. Our strait of obstacles, and I would not call it difficult, caused the guests unfailing horror: how possible! After all, here the soldier can get injured, he will have to pay the insurance (I’m not joking. This is how they prepare their Rambo. In general, the lane of obstacles also had to be put aside.
But the funniest thing happened in the orientation. The guys came to us with their GPS devices, and according to the conditions of the competition, each squad - our and American - relied only on a map and a compass. Both units landed from the helicopters at a previously unknown point for them; they had to, by delineating the map and the terrain, determine their location and perform a march-throw to the meeting point. In our squad, such tasks were filled with a bunch of bodybody; the matter was so simple that during training I entrusted the definition of the terrain to ordinary fighters - myself this game had long been tired, it was like re-reading the old book for the tenth time. So, the cats managed to disappear immediately. And instead of moving along the route, our group had to look for these gor-supermen in the seaside taiga, so that they, don’t give God, don’t bend from hunger or get in the eyes of the soldiers of the Interior Ministry troops or border guards – both people are special, sharply focused on fighting and shooting without reflection. They do right.
When we found the cats, their appearance was, gently speaking, guilty. The program of the visit had to be squeezed and quickly completed in the easiest way - a joint drink. When the “supermen” left our base, my communications fighter summed up:
- M-yes, and the crocodile is flying from them together with the projectile!
“When the Special Forces has too many muscles and equipment,” commented the American confuse, our company commander, Captain Zorin, “he, unnoticed to himself, begins to consider himself omnipotent. And this is full of a loss of sense of reality: such a "tool" is unable to correctly assess the degree of danger and make an adequate decision. It will surely be fought for. The most important muscles of the saboteur are reason and will. And these guys seem to have serious problems...

Sergey Dunaev

Eye for eye, tooth for tooth: students from Kostroma passed the EGE in Chechen language for 100 points.

You need to fight matte on the Internet just like in real life. We are like real life, right? A visitor to the restaurant. So the owner of the restaurant is obliged during the day to murder the hall in which they murdered and burn everything there. Otherwise, the OMON will come and destroy the whole restaurant.

I turn to the creators of the game "Tanks - online", it is time to give apartments to the military. His son is missing in the war and his family is nowhere to live.

We lose weight, we don’t eat after six.
Do you not eat or do not eat?

The lovely uncle:

The charming girl:

I’m not writing hernia in statuses.
I cook Borges very well.
Between sex and walking in shoes, I choose sex.
I intuitively know when to be silent.
Blonde with green eyes, 4 sizes.
I go in the summer 2-3 times a year for my own earnings.
one one.

What is not so?? to
________________
It is not so. Too perfect to be a reality, not a fantasy of visitors to this resource.
________

Per everything is much more prose, and the 54th ass size is attached to the 4th breast size.)

The Sun is a rather opaque object, so it radiates like a black body.
XXX: with a temperature of approximately 6000 Kelvin, so the maximum radiation falls on this wavelength
YYY: Oh, I probably didn’t have to use my search history to hit Google "black body"

Kac : The case today was funny, I walked in the street saw a familiar boy, and on it a maika with the print "The bad man will not be named".
Cas: And it would be nothing if the boy wasn’t called Denis.)

Please stop being measured by chicks/chicks, who earns how much, how it looks and why one. Write this on dating sites, show on the street when dating, but don’t squeeze the humorous quote, please!

<twister> I work here at Ikea, so there we are in the Bladr newspaper department.
<Thundy> Is it not "Bledra"?
<twister> No, it’s just a blade
<Odmin4eg> I remember working in Ikea, so there are generally such children: Huli baskets, mattresses Sultan Hamno and Sultan Freibou...
<Thundy> Lool. I have to go to Ikea. and :)

I recently visited Faust, who was placed on Isaac Square. In the middle of the crowd there were several rows of chairs, apparently for those who came first. On two chairs from the edge were sitting two bombs, a man and a woman, dirty and rubbed. They sat as enthralled, and watched the opera for more than two hours, holding their breath behind. When it was over and people began to split up, they approached me and asked for a...PROGRAMM.

Commentary on the news tape:
"And we will build our Internet with mat and torrents!!! to

Let us call the servers not banal names, but those that reflect the true essence.
Natalya: for example, the flow
Natalya: or there, the terrible
Better than sad.
Maxim: or sluggish
Maxim: the server "PARUS"

A (Manager): Olik, you can rewrite these interests to me in modern words, like a peasant magazine. "Cooling, useful tips, repair and do it yourself, sports, smart thoughts"

B (copywriter): "Cooling, life hacking, interior design/handmade, fitness, notes"

This terrible moment, when you realize that you can replace any word with a similar, only with a fuck, and you start to suspect in yourself a hipster...

and China! - confusedly I speak, showing my husband a broken wiring of the vibrator.
and Russia! The husband hurts him in isolation.

Time to clean up is when a cat is crawling in a room and you can’t find it.

Happy System Administrator Day!
Let all your users understand that no one is better than you on Earth!

Do you know we are leaving on Saturday?
Now I know.
Who said?! to