bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140453
 13.04.2017
Two – two cards

Is it bad to meet with two? These are also backup parallel processes, which consume more resources, but enhance security.

Cranes are raised. Semafores do not support at all, they are not blocked at all, it is a matter of time when they will simultaneously turn to one area in cowards and everything will collapse from access conflict, including a guy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140452
 13.04.2017
As usual is:
Gagarin has flown!
He really flew!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140451
 13.04.2017
The employee has been kidding for an hour. I turned to her and said in a serious voice:
There is no salary and there will be no salary.
How? how? And the advance?
Well how? Has Ikea passed?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140450
 13.04.2017
xx: I bought a fashion magazine at the institute, there were pictures of thin girls in beautiful dresses. They encouraged me to do sports.
TN: I also bought magazines at the institute. There are pictures of thin girls without beautiful dresses. They also encouraged me to do sports.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140449
 13.04.2017
xxx: IMHO: If you work freelance or remote, you begin to grow to the couch at some point. You need to change the picture in front of your eyes, or the roof moves slowly.

yyy: Changed the wallpaper on the phone and the norms.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140448
 13.04.2017
Now a lot of series for any taste and color, there are fantasy, about zombies and youth, detective genre, psychology, history and it's good that there is a rich choice, and yet, you want to see the series about "1C". 1C is a service office in which several programmers work and one of them is the great God, one is the timetable, and the others are in an adequate, girl-manager, management and clients. As in any good and not very series should be a service novel, without it even "Doctor House" did not do, and life itself proves their consistency. Abortions, shameful dismissals, corporate parties with tears. The problem with 1C is fundamental. And you can see the picture, as the chief specialist solves them with the famous saying "and it wasn't in the bobin." The most dramatic moment in the series looks like this:
The database cannot be restored, do you have a copy?
– No...
And all, here the client loses consciousness, sits in front of his eyes, falls faint.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140447
 12.04.2017
Layk: From the series "Got the country by news": "Ministry of Health plans to deprive unemployed medical policies of the OMS". That is, the logic: there is no work - you do not pay taxes - it is useless for the state - to treat you?

Health Ministry of Russia: on guard of natural selection!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140446
 12.04.2017
Admin left a document on IP-ATS. Excerpts from:

The number (extensions)
100 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/0
101 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/1
102 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 1/2
103 : Number registered for a phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/3
0666: A number registered for a ritual. can be removed. His own hand did not rise.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140445
 12.04.2017
and poverty. Remember, long ago, in the 90s, we could and assemble, and repair, and do something of our own. But now one call is made and a specially trained person is called. Because there is money to pay him. These services are not so expensive.

This is yes...
There are people. People who like to do things with their hands
There are people who know how to do and thus better drink beer for a few hundred saved.
There are people who do not like strangers and do not want to let strangers into their homes, so they do everything themselves.
There are people who have the right tool bought at home for other needs and thus increase its profitability (and improve their skills).
There are people who want to be able to do everything with their own hands (in case of apocalypse).
But for you there is only one category: poverty. We did the repair with our own hands because I wanted it (for many reasons, none of which had anything to do with money). A poor man is a man who fears that if he saves on something, people will think he has no money for it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140444
 12.04.2017
After a concert of Russian rappers in Brooklyn, even Negroes admitted that rap is g@no!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140443
 12.04.2017
A vegetarian bitten by cows radically revised his views on nutrition

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140442
 12.04.2017
Do not listen to that shit! The bag of potatoes, which I prepared, he himself in one and a half months eaten (and not in dry form), for the money saved on food bought a normal gift of his ex, who sent him with the same bag - and went with her to tolerate!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140441
 12.04.2017
They sent me for one medical procedure, I googled the details to understand what they would do with me. In the section "Contraindications" there is a paragraph "Strong refusal of the patient to conduct the procedure". Somehow it relieved.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140440
 12.04.2017
Xxx: My wife and I have had just a hell in the past few months at work. Go home to sleep. During this time, the dirt has grown to the worst.
Xxx: And then in the week, the master must come home and talk about the internet. I need to meet him. So, I dye all the things of my wife so that the master doesn't think that my wife is non-governmental. It is better to think that this is a single-band apartment.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140439
 12.04.2017
> I could not immediately figure out how to remove it, I used to google "how to remove the lighthouse". The fifth link is "How to remove damage at home". I immediately started to think that it was easier to destroy than to remove a luster.

Well, of course, to remove the non-existent phenomenon is easier than the material luster. We found something to surprise.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140438
 12.04.2017
stargrave2: I have been a Tor output node operator for many years. I was interrogated on many things committed through my IP in: the local police department, OSCE, the chief executive officer of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, “Department K”. They took absolutely all the iron (servers, laptops, hard drives, flash drives). But after explaining everything about Tor and how and why it works, it was “released.” I have not bothered for a year now.

SONCE: Tell me what are the coverings of your apartment made of that they can withstand the weight of your eggs?

#geektimes

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140437
 12.04.2017
I have lived in Australia for quite a decent time, there are plenty of Russians here, but if possible, they try not to betray themselves again. Once returning home after work, I passed by local bombers sitting on the bench. Here one of them jumps up, gets his feet on the seat and begins to broadcast loudly in pure Russian:
The citizens! The end of the world is near! Aliens are already on the way and you will not have time to blink, as our planet will not be!
The girl who passes by is also in pure Russian:
The milk! There is no peace from you!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140436
 12.04.2017
Why do we not have a precedent law? It is simple, understandable and fair.
"Because then you, what good, will stray from the state three billion, and you, too, to let go, like Serdyukova and Vasilyeva?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140435
 12.04.2017
I watched the horror with a Martian creature.
There is a horror that the boss arranged a creature to work and everyone was cut in salary, because the creature works faster.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140434
 12.04.2017
And the Lord saw that he had accidentally created Omsk, and he was afraid.
Then the Lord saw that he had created Omsk by mistake and was terrified.

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