bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115173
 22.06.2015
I was in the metro right now. I stand in the phone, and here such a brunette comes in chic, stands by my side and listen to the music in the headphones. The view from the side is blurred. I am not a fan of such acquaintances, but I did not stay here, decided on the original push. I open a new SMS and write - You are a very nice girl, and I will not forgive myself if I do not try to get to know you :=). I show her a type of reading. She read and how let me roast... I am confused, she shows me the recipient - and there Wife ((((. Automated reflexes.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №115172
 22.06.2015
here...

>If you harvest + on the same quotation several times, it's so funny that the rows run! ^ ^ ^

This is how a generation grew up...

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115171
 22.06.2015
XHX: The overflow in our lives: the cost of my car will rise by a few percent if it is filled
WOW: when I put money on the phone, it gets twice more expensive
zzz: the car will be 2 times more expensive if I put my phone there)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115170
 22.06.2015
If the mother is happy three times, then: a) there is a husband, a mother/daughter, you do not have to think about a piece of bread; b) the children are busy with themselves, therefore there is time for crafts / guitar / theater; c) three times the mother does not work. Want to praise? I understand. But don't compare your well-being with the sorrow of a girl who hasn't learned enough, to her job, who's going to take it with a little bit, and want to eat very much, the man swinged in the blue (and so kind of wanted children), and the mother just driven out of the house, because she wants to live peacefully and restlessly, not listening to the whispering of the child.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115169
 22.06.2015
The son went to the preschool camp from 9 to 14:30.
Breakfast and lunch.
Lunch was postponed due to the concert. I ask :
What did you do in the camp today?
After breakfast I waited a long time for lunch.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №115168
 22.06.2015
No, it is just those who are surprised by such a situation that are hot. My best school friend has been cooking for the whole family since the age of 5 (yes, so on the plate at the plate and stood) - my mother gave birth to a brother, my dad worked, and the man should be fed, her grandmother and taught. I started cooking later (when I studied in 1st grade), and the tea was not trusted to me - it was made only by my dad, but I went to the bath alone from 4 years old, and at 8 and I could melt it... Now here is my nephew 8, and his mother washes in the bathroom. They went crazy.

A typical "survivor mistake" From the series - I never wear seat belts, smoke, swallow and healthy! So it is safe!
You have never been in childhood traumatology, obviously. There such independent children of brave parents rooms are full.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115167
 22.06.2015
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Have you read the hat?! to
I am a drug addict reading hats. You offered me a sweater to listen!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115166
 22.06.2015
Twenty-six: 26 pages of the thread, and they have not yet decided who to lead the Brownian movement.
UUU: But we have decided against whom this movement will be.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115165
 22.06.2015
GT, comments to the article about the almost vertical take-off of the new Boeing model:

XXX: Why is there no flow disruption?
yyy: Stupid assumption, of course, but suddenly in Boeing know aerodynamics?

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115164
 22.06.2015
If you harvest + on the same quotation several times, it's so funny that the rows run! ^ ^ ^

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115163
 22.06.2015
This week a new game about Batman is out, and because of the work time will definitely not be.
I decided not to go to the gaming sites, so that nothing reminded me.
I open the tape.
"Paleontologists have found a giant flying mouse"
by Fuck.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115162
 22.06.2015
IZh: My old acquaintances
Invisible how it happens.
With someone’s easy hand.
Everyone is called grandfather.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115161
 22.06.2015
You seem to have children. I think you will agree that just as it is impossible for a virgin to describe the pleasure of a relationship + sex bond, so is it for a childless person to have children. It is right, apparently. Sleepless nights, spending, inconveniences... children are really able to be wildly angry and all that. But all this is forgotten when your son/daughter takes the first steps, whispers from your cheek, or learns to read. When he is with burning eyes listening to your favorite childhood tale. When he gives you a self-made birthday card. The childless now will say: 'Figny something'. It is impossible to convey it in words. I am a talented writer, as they say.
----------
No one does not mind that you and those who want to have children, and no one responds to you. What do you do to those who think differently?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115160
 22.06.2015
My wife and aunt are sitting.
My sister bought the same phone, I don’t want this one anymore.
What are you? My husband gave it to NG. Aunt is slightly in the oak.
I hear the ears and immediately add:
I don’t understand you, girls. I see a man in the same car, with the same phone, and in the same pants! And I understand that this person is close to me, his taste is normal, with this person there is something to talk about after all! You are in panic right away...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115159
 22.06.2015
Zzz: By the way, the man-eaters only eat virgins. Because they can’t fry.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №115158
 22.06.2015
I am damned by the price of gasoline. I take a taxi to work. 30 km and back.

As a child I had a book of ancient Eastern wisdom and anecdotes. And there was a joke about a fool who replied to the news of the price of flour that he did not care - he buys ready-made bread. Why he was a fool was not explained, but at six years old I already understood.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115157
 22.06.2015
All over the page of this joke about happiness, Yandex direct insisted on buying vibrators. I’m like the boss, not even the wing.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115156
 22.06.2015
Lermonts is about something else. His seriousness oppresses.
— — —
Lermontov had a rare invasive character, and if it were not for Martynov (who he called Martyškko by ladies and oppressed in various ways), then who else would have shot him.
But there is an excuse and an explanation.
According to legend, Thomas Lermont, the legendary Scottish bard and Lermontov's ancestor, visited the elves, after returning principally could not lie. The poet was interesting before. All Lermontov's conflicts are the expression of his real opinion where a compliment would be appropriate. He probably couldn’t lie either. A misanthropic life.
At the moment of Lermontov's death, a thunderstorm of such strength began that the body could not take an hour. At the same time, the duel place at least on the mountain, but not Elbrus ever.
The centenary of the poet’s birth was celebrated. But a few months before that, the First World War began, and it was not possible to mark.
The Soviet power Lermontov loved - the critic of tsarism. And a hundred years from the day of his death would be marked necessarily, but also a disappointment - July 1941 did not contribute. But they prepared the evening in the Kremlin for the 150th anniversary of birth. That was cancelled due to the coup with the resignation of Khrushchev the day before. And about 150 years since the day of his death, between the election of Yeltsin and the GKCHP, are generally forgotten.
200 years in October 2014. Whether it was exhausted or what...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115155
 22.06.2015
If you do not have children and you have any doubts about starting or not - DO NOT start! Don’t try to help, because it’s accepted, because everyone has a time... When it’s time, you’ll realize that inside you’ll light up. When you dream of a child to tears, when you are ready to love and accept anyone - only then win. It is crazy to regret children who seem to be loved, but who always, it turns out, something interferes with parents.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115154
 22.06.2015
Wouldn’t you go...
with a pink fifth.
Take my mom out of here!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna