bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84345
 19.07.2013
Yesterday my grandfather from the country called, complained that my grandmother had something on the controller and satellite TV shows nothing but the blue screen. "Telephone treatment" has not resulted in anything useful.
xxxh: Today he calls me in the morning with the words: "I apologized for the antenna! It shows everything in the best way! Do not worry!" He puts the phone.
Thats a grandfather. 79 years. Apologize for the satellite antenna. The PZDC...
XHH: The next time more carefully with him to use his айтишный slang, or almost condracy did not embrace with such a statement...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №84344
 19.07.2013
How to wash the food dye?
From the hand?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! to
Vanish or powder with a whitener? Why urgently?
My wife is coming tonight. Yesterday we smoked a fun shit (
What did the smokers paint? ?
xxxh: yeah, I included "oggy and cockerel", and there is a green cat... in general Snow, fell, in vain, T_T came to the kitchen

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84343
 19.07.2013
to this:
Hamster: If the programmers were doctors, patients would say to them, for example, "I have a pain in my leg," and they would answer "No, I don't know, I have the same leg, and nothing hurts."
___________
and the recommendation from the same doctor: "Try to lie down, sleep a little and get up again"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №84342
 19.07.2013
Purchased salt with tea tree oils for the bathroom, the type gives strength and inspires new feats. Five minutes later, I ran out of the bathroom with the thoughts: “I have so many things to do, and I’m in the bathroom!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84341
 19.07.2013
Commentary on the "Anti-Piracy Law"

End of 2014
Announced by:
Selling HDD bo magnetic, degree and name of magneticity in the face. I can magnetize your HDD or change the internal nand structure of your flash drive.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84340
 19.07.2013
Announcement on the sale of children's toys:
No smoking cats and dogs at home!! to

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №84339
 19.07.2013
On the forum defachko asks: please say, only those who really know if it is possible and how to increase the breasts at home?
Oh and extensive comments (by the way, all from the female gender):
- It is necessary not to remove the straw for the night and fill it with sour cabbage. Sleep so for six months and the breasts will grow to one size.
In the second half of the year, another size.
- Spread the chickens with steamed milk before bedtime... and then wrap in a sheet of crust cut in a full moon... necessarily in a full moon... if you cut at the wrong time - they will decrease!!!!!!!!! to
- And, in addition, eat garlic marinated and onions from the bed Z.Y. But there are contraindications, sleeping next to the husband will not withstand the smell...
"Say, I want the pop to be bigger and round, if I go to sleep in trousers filled with fermented cabbage, will something change for the better?
- There more beets to crush, cucumbers-excellent vinegret will work
- Fsjojo, we will go with my husband today with cabbage - I am in the lift, and he is in the cowards!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84338
 19.07.2013
Is that now? Did it offend the feelings of believers?

The Church of the Flying Pasta Monster.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84337
 19.07.2013
I have a depression the cat does not talk to me - and if the cat does not talk to me it means I have ended schizophrenia =))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №84336
 19.07.2013
At high temperatures you can not take a bath and shower, and I am fine, I took a dishwasher :)

________________

The important thing is that it is not Islam.

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84335
 19.07.2013
xxx is. All mathematicians are fucking. But not all fools are mathematicians.
YYYYY As a mathematician familiar with many mathematicians, I can agree with the first part of your thesis.
and zzz. As a fucking, familiar with many fucking, I confirm the second part.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84334
 19.07.2013
Why are we so afraid of piracy? I’m going to write music on the radio ?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84333
 19.07.2013
I dreamed I was being taken to jail. I looked at Yandex.Market reviews of the best prisons in the world.

yyy: Merit: Balance - medium, whirlwind - a shameful wolf, camera of norms. Three times was, not Magadan of course, but you can live.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84332
 19.07.2013
News: Filming of Terminator 5 will begin in January 2014. Schwarzenegger will appear in the film in the same role - the model T800.
This news is not pleased except that the actress grimers.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84331
 19.07.2013
There will be a gay parade in the city this weekend.
Will there be tanks?

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84330
 19.07.2013
The Passage:

NikitA: The daughter quest came up: Mom, cook me peanut soup, only without peanut-like in the garden!

Here are two options. either boiled from concentrates, or cooked to such a state that the peas collapses almost into molecules, forming a cabbage-like mass. But it is still fine. I was at one time in the state of the statue of the thinker, when in one hospital I received a plate of pearl, which was a monolithic design with a plate, neither the grain was visible, and when turning the plate, the meat did not even try to get out of it, and I bended the spoon. I thought an epilepsy.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №84329
 19.07.2013
Due to repairs, the cabinet was temporarily dismantled. I sit with the electricists and they have a TV in the background. I don’t watch TV at home, I prefer books. Electricity is mainly included in NTV. The people! How can this channel be viewed? Where the dog is smarter than the detectives and constantly, where there are murders. And I laughed when the speaker said that they had secret data about American weapons that have already been tested on a couple of Russian cities, and our government doesn’t know. And also about corruption, witchcraft, violence, death. I come home and watch the cartoons to get it out of my head.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №84328
 18.07.2013
In general, the absence of sex is the best way to protect. It has only worked once in the entire history of mankind.
YYY: Interesting method you have.
The budget is ;)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84327
 18.07.2013
Den Stranger: A paid medical examination to obtain a certificate for a motor school. The psychiatric cabinet. The dialogue:
Have you already paid for the certificate?
and yes.
The intelligence test has already passed.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84326
 18.07.2013
The mechanic of children's attractions, from the despair that he can't steal anything at work, at night to blewth revolves on the carousel.

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