I heard in the bus a young girl complaining to a girlfriend:
Something is wrong with me. I get to sleep, I can't wake up in the morning, in the evening - I instantly cut off.
He silenced a little and said:
- I don't even teen before going to bed, I fall asleep in the process.
O_0 What was it?

here here :
She came to us in the accounting office of the chief, immediately after an economist, such as a young special, something she was taught there for 5 years, probably, and after all, she took exams.
The first working day, after a couple of hours "work" gives the vote:
Should we pay taxes to the state and not it to us?

I would vote for her :)

My classmate added this status.
I asked the wise man, “What is more important to love or to be loved?” the wise man replied, “What is more important to the bird, the left wing or the right wing?”
See also: LOL
I wrote in the comments that the right
Why do I get upset? hz

here here :

OsliG PYH POH
What I dream about as I work can be considered overtime and ask for money from the boss? :D

If the results of sleep work are the same as those of Mendeleev, for example, then yes.

zzz: Keep your money like eggs, in different baskets.
Ded: Ah, the Central Bank of China has stumbled and seven baskets of roshu@chill. If this continues, we will all be without eggs.

I go to the subway on the escalator. From a distance I see the inscription on the poster "HEROINE...0%"
("Hm, a fun advertising move")
I’m coming closer: "Heroin 100%"
and the shield??" ;
Compared to the poster: "Heroes at 100%"
(" AAAAAAAA)))"
The hero of heroine, fucking.

The problem with cheese forgotten in the refrigerator with "noble mold" (e.g. Dor Blue) is that you don't know whether it has plunged or not, and if it has plunged, it's good or bad.

Our admin today printed and hung on the door:

0 0 0 You can't clearly explain the reason for your visit to me - 5 backbones.
1st Conversation in chat capcom is not a case - 1 hit the board.
2nd He left the session unclosed and went home - 4 hits in the board.
Three Opened and turned more than 50 windows, disappointing that the computer brakes - 2 hits the dashboard.
4 is Sending an e-mail scan of anything larger than 4Mb - 1 hit "s pyre" in a pipe.
5 is Sending an e-mail scan of anything larger than 32Mb - 1 blow in the head.
6 is Switched into the printer paper with a sticker - 1 hit in the board (but with the leg and with the spread).
7 is I didn't include anything in the socket, but I came to complain that it didn't work - 40 counters.
8 is I forgot my personal password - 4 pins.
9 is I couldn't hide the elementary thing myself - 20 underneath the head insulting mat.
10 is "Oh, I can’t find where I’ve saved"—a blow with an open palm in the forehead. With all strength.
11 is An attempt to ask a question, the answer to which is in the FAQ - 1 kick in the fist.
P.S If you like to write a VOT in this style, make a will in advance.

My brother is an unpopular bearded 29-year-old programmer. He has a soft elephant toy he was given when he was 2 years old. He was always sitting on his bed. When my mother told me that the elephant should be thrown out, he was drunk and sloppy, and his brother moved the elephant into a cellar, and he had his room there, his cloth and his bowl. None of us can touch an elephant.

From chat TERA Online:
xxx: The dog says "Gav gaw", the cat says "Miau meu", the MMO player says "In pvp there is no class balance".

by baklanovma:
Humanity is getting better. I know it is hard to believe, but it is. 20 years ago, the “working people” loved to drink and fight, today instead they watch funny videos and love pictures with cats. This is real progress.

Google has acquired Boston Dynamics, a company that produces combat robots for the military:

Etherial: The combination of “Google’s search engine robot” takes on a new, sinister shade.
Mrdubz: Sitting in the shelter, you will tell the grandchildren who came back from the raids about the times when search robots couldn’t enter the homes.
TheRipper: *In case I printed robots.txt on the entrance door*

I will give this analogy - gave the director a huge warehouse. He understood his cruelty and declared himself emperor.
Instead of planting fields and earning profits, he engaged in wholesale trading. All orders are worshipped before him, but orders are not fulfilled. Sweep as they can.
Instead of selection, he hanged slogans and motivational posters.
Instead of the seed, he released a stencil. The warehouse is empty, he started screaming at the workers. They will be beaten soon.
So that the state of affairs did not seem horrible - decided to make a fun start. Instead of agriculture, they all turned into merchants and managers.
The warehouse is empty.

Every morning I get stuck in the textures of the blanket.

The strange time of year has come – winter.
In the morning it is night, in the evening it is night, and in the day I work.

"This question has long lost the minds of world scientists..."

About the dogs.

Walked with the child in the park, the child was exactly a year old, not very firmly still standing on his feet, holding a ball in his hands. At some point, I see him, dropping two meters away from me, bearing a large dog, something like Doberman’s Metis, close to the whole support. A little later, when with the child in my arms, I wept away from this puppy, in a hurry, came a valley family of owners consisting of daddy, mommy and son of 7 years old. I didn't hold back, wiped out my hands, gave my father a family of roses, but let him say thank you, that I didn't break them all at the time. At that moment, I was much more bloodthirsty than their stupid dog.

If the rationalizers of Skype saw my rod, the skype would stop offering to take a photo on the web when you want to change your avatar.

xxx-yyy: Do you know what is the most funny thing about this whole situation? Proponents of European integration gathered at the Maidan of Independence (Independence Square), and supporters of independence - at the European Square :)) Ukraine...

KILL: That you all wash up, you will never win.
Kill: Would you win?
Killed by: Game?
Killed by: A player?
Killed by: Debby