bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №82707
 10.06.2013
I work as a teacher and I say I have the best job!!! While the students run from morning to evening on weekends, I roll on the couch in my family trousers and a pack of chips in my hands and watch Game of Thrones!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82706
 10.06.2013
Lorraine: In terms of gaming, I play often. I paint the nails, and so well they dry on the mouse and WASD ^^

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82705
 10.06.2013
> Dress up tomorrow
> I will write the answers on my feet
Why the ass is no longer in front of space

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82704
 10.06.2013
The employee (C) wiped out some details with cotton soaked in vodka. The girl came (D)

Q: Do you have a liquid to remove the lacquer?
A: I have a fluid to relieve stress.

[ + 46 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82703
 10.06.2013
>"Aerogrills, aerofras, rackets, egg-making machines, chocolate fountains, shredders, electric shrinkers, marinators, fountains, electric openers, electronic knives"

Have you ever wondered how people lived without this?

= is
You won’t believe it, but many still live without it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82702
 10.06.2013
From Habr, about the communication of bees through electrical fields:
All animals can communicate in some way. We’re just as bad as contact and Facebook :(

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82701
 10.06.2013
No matter how much you feed the cat, he looks at you. Even terrible though.

[ + 48 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82700
 10.06.2013
My whole life is related to animals, some of which I have already written here. At home lived and rabbits, and hunts, and mice, and hamsters, and selected birds with broken wings, in short, a mini-zoo. But the most touching relationship has always been with representatives of the cat family.

My dad was always categorically against cats and cats - it's smell, wool, anti-hygiene, or in the morning, unnecessary kittens, etc. My dad is very harsh. My mom and sister have been dreaming of a cat for several years, and this is just when we got the courage to bring a cat. Not just a cat, but a male cat. We did not know who of us would survive. There was such a scandal, even so - SCANDAL that the neighbors quieted in the corners of their apartments. Father a month tried to survive the cat from the apartment - if he entered the hall, then from the pinch flew back, the hall was exclusively father's territory. This was the end of the practice, but there was also purely psychological terror. As soon as Daddy entered any room, the cat was blowing away like the wind. And this exercise “who’s watching,” oooo, it should have been seen.

My mom and sister, of course, were very sorry for the cat, and we were already starting to think about whether we made a mistake. But the years passed, the cat showed all his talents to win his father's respect, and now the father opens the cat's fork when Tom wants to walk. When his friends come to visit his dad, and the cat passes by, he almost says with pride - my echo is red again, the ear, indeed, scratched, but the territory behind him remained.
There is human solidarity in everything. Of course, the couch is still a taboo for the cat, but if he still wants to watch the TV with us all in the room, he sits at the entrance to the room and humbly waits for when his dad asks him to enter, then he willingly passes and sits on the carpet must be in the middle of the room. There is another secret arrangement - if the mother sits on the couch and the cat is on her knees, then the cat is NOT on the couch, i.e. It is possible.
And when the father sits at the table for lunch, he must ask - and Vase put something to eat? and :)
This is how a cat appeared in our family.

P.S this site for me opened Agapov A.G., my former colleague at work, for which I want to pass him, taking the opportunity, greetings and long years of happy life!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №82699
 10.06.2013
- Light, get up, 15 minutes to work!
Are you what? Were you hot? Couldn’t you wake up earlier? I only have 20 minutes!! to
“Not you, you were asleep, I painted you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82698
 10.06.2013
The biggest minus on the day of receipt is until the next whole month. = = (

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82697
 10.06.2013
Announcement at the entrance:
Hell work, paradise pay!
The body. +7(951)131 ***
PS: For fans of Diablo

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82696
 10.06.2013
Here is here:

>xxx: I came up with a new alcoholic cocktail "Deep Penetration"...

You won’t believe, bro! In the glorious (without cravings) nineties, they drank beer in the middle of the day, right in the offices, just to drink the lunches. And all the bosses quietly went in and out, and no one threw the open bottle under the table. And they worked normally, and the bugs did not go to work.

That time was then.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82695
 10.06.2013
Cats are playful, in principle, all their lives.
WOW: It is not true. My son did not play!
He just realized the complexity of our lives very early, he grew up early.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82694
 10.06.2013
News "Scientists sent data to a time hole"

The post office of Russia has long used this method of delivery.

[ + 103 - ] Comment quote №82693
 10.06.2013
Description of the film:
Pulling his teeth and hardening his heart, not knowing neither sleep nor rest, he steps in the face of fate for a meeting with an unfamiliar sympathetic girl who is not familiar with the rules of Russian language.
He is a trainer.
What hell is he in this world?
Forgot here?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82692
 10.06.2013
Translate to English using Google Translator: text
"Police, after receiving information, goes to the place..." translates as
"the police, having received an information, leaves the place..."
I think Google has penetrated Russian reality more deeply than other systems.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82691
 10.06.2013
News on Sportbox: Cannabis costs 30 million, "Dynamo" and "Shaker" intend to buy.

The comments:
XXX is
Thirty Lamoff?

YYY
A name for 20 lams.

ZZZZ
Alexander, and for 3 years

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82690
 10.06.2013
I read advertisements on the internet.

At the show of world stars of Ball Dance in the Kremlin will perform the best dancers of the world from different countries of the world:

Katyusha Demidov (United States)
Anastasia Muraviev (United States)
Yulia Zagorujchenko (USA)

Americans are such Americans!

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82689
 10.06.2013
From all my heart, I wish those whose perverted brains have embodied the life of such misery as open space, all their lives to sit with their naked back in a glass thrust, side by side with others like them... themselves! We have these cattle offices! I am sending the fifth job offer just for this reason. Stop being empty-headed martyrs, thoughtlessly copying all the western hills!

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82688
 10.06.2013
From Top
On work (franchising 1C) I drive a lot in the Volgograd region. Accountants are young people up to 40 years of age. Knowledge, both in accounting and in 1C, is an order of more than the club from Volgograd. At the same time, they DO NOT want to try to get a place in the city, for a salary 3-8 times greater, under the pretext: "Well, there is everything only for their own, who do we need?" And many enterprises in Volgograd desperately need competent accountants, and change glamour 2-3 a year. Conviction does not work. Only four were convinced. One has become the head.

What am I doing wrong?

It’s not on that site you’re writing, muddle, that’s not right!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna