The Dog’s Diary:
Eight o’clock dog food. My favorite food!
9:00 I am in the car. I adore!
9:40 Walk in the park. The most wonderful walk!
At 11 p.m. I was in the ear. I adore people!
11:30 Give a Bone! My favorite food!
14:00 We go to the garden. My favorite place!
14:20 I take my tail. My favorite activity!
5 p.m. for dog food My favorite food!
At 6 p.m. we play the ball. My favorite game!
Watching TV at 20:00. My favorite activity!
22:00 I will sleep on the carpet. My favorite place!
The Cat’s Diary:
956 days of my imprisonment.

July 14th is the day of taking the Bastille. A holy holiday for any Russified who watched the brilliant film "Love and pigeons". We must do everything we can to ensure that this celebration is not wasted. This is what Uncle Mitchell said.

And only then I went into the net and looked at the prices for the services of the freight companies and the prices for snow cleaning. I counted.
If you transport 62.3 tons of snow from Antarctica to the site, dissolve a layer of 5 cm and then remove it - you get almost the numbers that count!and "

Navalny is you?

American singer Lady Gaga was struck by an unknown hooligan. Here is the new dress.

The American industry could be replaced by one machine for printing money.
Bakutkin

Bus battalion

The main and only place of action of this, absolutely true story
The Route. The usual such PAZik, travelling a hot summer day on the route... however, this has nothing to do with history. Passengers are concerned.
On the back seats was a small group of young men, with expressions of the faces “wish to beer, and then to give and receive.” She sits in front of them, or rather sits – she just entered – an ordinary girl.
There is an ordinary guy in front of her. There is a guy in front of him too. Not ordinary anymore. In a white costume, swollen. In all its appearances,
“I have a clean Porsche broken, and I’m driving in this stinking car in the society of the bead.”
Who sits in front of him is not important. It is important that near the exit of the bus stands, based on the order, a specific botan. Strongly struggles with sleep. Why is standing? The fucking knows him. Maybe there’s not enough space, or maybe it’s not easier to sleep.
While I was describing the heroes of the story, the girl already got the money and asked to pass the guy sitting in front of her. What he actually did, stretching out his hand to the sitting in front of him.
Did you forget who was there before him?
He was overturned. And slightly turning his head, he said disregardingly:
You need to get up and get to the car.
“Oh, of course, I’ll get up,” said the guy, really getting up. – is
Sorry, Brother, I can’t see that the master of life is coming in front of me from behind.
who for our sake, the plebees, his kingdom (these words he spoke with
Unable to get up from the bus seat.
There was laughter on the road. The master of life stumbled and also stood up.
What did he say?
Are you still deaf? So sit down, brother, where are you, disabled, ass
to raise?
What did you want in the mouth?
What if you get it yourself?
All this time the girl tries unsuccessfully to enter between the guys to resolve the conflict, but the normal got up in the passage, and it wasn’t bypassed.
“Yes, I’ll make you happy, the eyes of the ‘master of life’ are already filled with blood.
If you put it, my brother will get up behind me. Is it right, brother? He is
It runs on the entire bus.
- Yes, - the men react joyfully and also get up, although it is visible that they are
This guy is not known.
At this time, the route stops. The master of life, seeing that both moral and physical superiority are not on his side, says:
Well, you can fuck that grandmother together. He shows on
A girl whose money has not yet reached the wheel, and jumps into the open.
The door.
He would have gone. But in the last part of the second, Botan woke up. Which very imperceptibly made the “master of life” a leg.
How he was flying!
did not fall. did not fall.
It was flying. flying parallel to the earth.
He impressed his head on the pillar.
He fell in a white costume into the pit.
Only five minutes later, when the applause vanished, the girl said loudly:
The boys! You’ve all just restored my belief in normal life.
The men have not moved yet.

The Wudo witch, accidentally piercing a pack of garbage with spices, shattered the police.

A friend leaves for Altai for 2 weeks, a conversation in asskoe:
The Rebel:
I am leaving on Sunday.
Feels to:
How am I without my faithful boss?
Feels to:
Who will turn my pope’s head on a scotch in the morning and say he’s alive, only tired?
Feels to:
Who is going to squeeze the coat to cling to the captain?
Feels to:
Who poured the earth into the pipe of the jungle, so that he would shout, Earth, Earth captain?
Feels to:
Who will escape from the tractor to the galapagos for an accidental port prostitute?
Feels to:
Who will masterfully take our brigade out of the armor of her Majesty’s soldiers?
Feels to:
Who will fill his pockets with gold piasters, and then drop all his wealth on the rum in a moment?
Feels to:
Who will jump overboard just to raise the triangle of his captain?
Feels to:
Who will ride on waves on giant turtles and on land on giant mosquitoes?
Feels to:
What is it??????? to
Feels to:
Without you, I would be a miserable land rat.
The Rebel:
I forgive. But sometimes you have to go to the beach and visit relatives. But I will return. I will definitely come back. After all, if you at least once went out to the sea, fought with the storm and took on board other people's ships. If you’ve eaten the kisses of port prostitutes and Roma. You will never be different again. I will definitely come back.

Discuss the news as a girl on an Opel struck a bicycle at 11 o'clock in the evening. The comments:

Previously, the girls ran under the cars to get married successfully, now the men began to find the bride with a gift.)
Silence - 14.07.2011 11:15 pm.

To fall under Opel is not to respect yourself.
OlegusMDH - 14.07.2011 11:54 pm.

and under the land cruiser to rush - no bones to collect.)
Silence - 14.07.2011 11:57 am.

The Rambler News:
From the Chitinsky circus escaped depressed chorus with friends

The comments:
The LSD is better than the LSD.

After the state in which he saw me, I don’t see any sense for him to paint.

News from Rambler:

"From the Chitinsky circus escaped a depressed chorus with friends"

pc

I report. The Black Sea, Cocktail, Ukraine In the 7.5 days of my observations, no "TAGIIIIIL" has been recorded. You can go to rest.

A sociologist friend decided to write a course on an unusual topic. Something like the importance of parts of your body for different groups of people.
One of the questions was which bone or group of bones you are most afraid to break.
One of the answers was the right hand.
She then asked for a long time why respondents-men from different groups chose this answer, scoring on a broken ankle, nose, hip neck...

Give me 20 grams.
You have only one word in the dictionary: "Give!"
As if you do not have it!
There is. But I have it alternating with the word "take".
“Take twenty hryvnia and give it to me.

All cats are like cats, and only my red dordana is afraid of cats. She gets stuck in her nails and complains >_<

Answer to:
XXX is fucking!! I’m under the shell!!! to
Man is a spider?

Well, no, this is the Black Coat, everyone has known since childhood!)

Client Letter: "Please pay attention to my yellow highlights in the text".

Writing
There is a washing machine! You drop the sludge into the bath, clog a hole in the bath and turn the empty machine without powder to the maximum temperature. And we have a depth of 50 liters of water at a temperature of about 80 degrees, and a hot bath - about 50 degrees. That is, we dilute what leaked out of the machine with cold water, and the bath is ready!"
Have you offered a Nobel yet?

On the cadastre: discussion of the enlargement of Moscow:
This tumor begins to produce metastases. We need to remove the naher.
I think radiation therapy can help a lot.