bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114773
 13.06.2015
The duel on the fans, in fact, is much more terrifying than you might think from the name.
To understand this, just think: what ammunition is used in it!

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114772
 13.06.2015
to this:
XX: Do you think you are creative? Try sending mail without using numbers.

I'm fucking creative, three emails and no numbers.
Thou thou

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114771
 13.06.2015
Questions in the forum:
I would like to ask. If you connect one router to another via Wifi, then the second router can be connected to the second personal computer via a cable so that the Internet is? I have a computer with a router, I need to spend the internet in the neighboring apartment (so the cable is not an option) where there is another computer with another router, here I want to know on the second comp will be the internet in addition to wifi
The commentary:
This was the last time I had such feelings when I read Hegel’s The Phenomenology of the Spirit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114770
 13.06.2015
Always act according to the plan. And if the plan suddenly fails, then it is necessary to act according to the absence of a plan.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114769
 13.06.2015
I am allergic to something that is now blooming. The tears flow constantly.
We look at mixers in the store today. After a long choice, I decided to ask the seller questions. He responds, I listen and machine-wipe my tears.
The seller: Don’t cry! If you liked the crane so much, but it is too expensive, the company can make an additional discount!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №114768
 13.06.2015
What is the noise outside the window?
The Coprofil Parade, sir.
and yes? And what do they want?
They are just defending their rights to equality, sir.
I did not understand. Does anyone eat shit at home?
No yes sir. They don’t want to eat it at home. They advocate that shit is sold in all catering establishments, so that at the crossroads you can easily buy shit on the stick, and in the restaurant without problems to order shit on the spat.
“But that’s annoying and not entirely natural, George.
Why then sir? It’s innate, they’re born like that and they can’t do anything about it. In nature there are many examples of coprophilia. Dogs, sea pigs, and a bunch of animals perceive this quite normally. Therefore, it is not surprising that humans, as part of the animal world, are also concerned.
"George, I understand rightly that if they get theirs, then in my favourite cafe on the corner along with the strawberry suffle will be served shit in cups?"? to
Absolutely right sir. Coprofiles are absolutely normal people and have the right to eat their favorite dish during lunch without hiding their preferences.
Oh my God, I just get stuck!
Sir, how can you do it??? This is totally intolerant. You will be fined at least for this, and you will be fined as much as possible.
...??? to
- By the way, sir, one famous psychiatrist at one time said something in the spirit: "If you don't like coprophiles, then it is very likely that you are actually also a coprophile, just hidden." I do not guarantee the authenticity of the phrase, but still listen to yourself, maybe you are waiting for fresh taste discoveries...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114767
 13.06.2015
How do you get to buy two protective glasses?
And to indicate in the description the intricate name of the eye protection standard, the consumer will definitely be useful to look for a description of the standard - and voila! The video, where the glasses are robbed by a sharpened iron stick weighing half a kilogram from a height of one and a half meters, or shoot in the glasses from a pneumatic rifle... Immediately two pairs are purchased - the second for experiments, of course.
I got it :(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №114766
 13.06.2015
Russian radio and evening broadcasts. We discuss ways to attract luck at work.
SMS: And at work, whoever is better off licking his ass to the boss, will be in chocolate. and Natasha.
Natasha, you look carefully, it’s probably not chocolate.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114765
 13.06.2015
Talk to an agent.
trying to divorce me for friendly sex, such as where there was not, that there was not, and there was no sex yet;
I rush and say that he has a bunch of girls, with whom he periodically intersect and does not hide, and I need an intimate relationship with one and that I have him alone.
He writes a fairy tale about Confucius, a aunt, tea cups and cups, the philosopher is dumb, found an argument, ah.

I write to him that then he is obviously not about me at all, because I make the tea not in the tea bar, but immediately in the cup, and I plunge the boil there from the thermos, and in the thermos I pour the boil in the morning, boiling it in the pot on the plate.

I wrote "no you and the perverted" and didn’t have sex anymore

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114764
 13.06.2015
The impression is that those who complain that Ward did not save or delete his diploma, for the first time in their lives, sat down to write text on a computer. I wonder how did they write courses before? I don’t believe there are people who have Ward hanged for the first time in their lives on a diploma. In addition, due to constant edits and regular copying to the flash drive for printing, in principle, there can not be only one single copy (version) of the file... In the fact that there are people able to write a diploma in one seat, I also do not believe.
Stop the poems.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114763
 13.06.2015
The Cat Names.
My brother and I went to a village in Douro. There was an unhealthy cat coming to us. We sit down, therefore, in the evening, drink beer and decide how to name the animal.
“Let’s call him Tom,” his brother proposed.
You are chasing me, I answer.
And then the chip.
I don’t like Americanism, I don’t like Americanism.
And so for half an hour.
In general, in the end, there lived in a deaf Ukrainian village a naked red mouse with a beautiful Portuguese name Goniš.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114762
 13.06.2015
And our cat is named Shilo because it runs like it has a tail below its tail. And recently he confirmed his surname by probing a bicycle camera 0_0

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114761
 13.06.2015
here here :

How can you get rid of the decision in 4, 5-7 hours and throw it out of your head?? to
How? They will sit firmly in your head, and so that you do not do with your hands, feet and even your head, you will constantly pop up thoughts about an unsolved task, doubts about the correctness of the solved, brilliant thoughts, about what could be done differently, and if a little re-formulate the task.
...And if you stood up from the table, shaken your minds, and went, then it is so, it is your job, not intense mental work.
_________________________________________
You have Nihua problems with switching attention. People like you are completely unable to work in multitasking mode, pull home problems at work, and work problems with home and family, and also find themselves completely insolvent as a senior leader. And also earn an ulcer by 30, catch the first heart attack at 40, and not always live to retirement. In short, work on yourself. Work is needed for life, not life for work.
It is...

From such as him, enthusiastic about his work and creative thinking, there are then unique specialists, whom employers seek to lure to work for any money.
And in general, not everyone dreams of becoming a boss - a minimum of free flight of creative thought, constantly pressing the burden of responsibility and economic and economic tensions. About ulcers and heart attacks with strokes is still more about bosses.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114760
 13.06.2015
And suddenly all your friends on Facebook have a group in which they secretly discuss what a shit you are.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114759
 13.06.2015
XXX - Our cat Ashky suddenly grows eggs
How do we now call this miracle? by skype?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114758
 13.06.2015
There are three stages of eating shishka:
1st Take a shot, I want to eat!
2nd Eat a little, but eat a little more.
Three What about Shashik? Fuck him...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114757
 13.06.2015
“If the Americans had made the film Four Tankers and a Dog, the crew would have included a Jew, a Negro, a Blue and a woman with disabilities.
Would it be a dog?
It would be an enema.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114756
 13.06.2015
There are two dogs in the yard, all right. Phase and Zero

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114755
 12.06.2015
How did they know?! I think I am being followed by O_O.

Also paranoid.Friends took the Maine Coon, there was a question with the country.Not that he would run away, but there could be precedents to steal a cat.Well, so we will be voller to do.They stumbled in the kitchen, went home.I include a computer-contextual advertising offers vollery for puppies.Iphone, what, I am listening and sliding?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114754
 12.06.2015
<Artifice> The cat experiment was a counter-example created by Heisenberg himself to show the stupidity of some guys.
<Artifice> Unfortunately, the stupid guys cried out: "This is brilliant!"
<Artifice> Oh, Schrödinger Mistakenly
"ZorbaTHut" - Heisenberg's cat either moves around the apartment at an unknown speed, or sleeps somewhere, but it's not known exactly where.
<Artifice> That is the most ordinary cat
<ZorbaTHut> Yes Yes

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