About re-qualified taxi drivers with unusual biographies. Recalled from the history of August 1 about a Canadian taxi driver-scientist who met a taxi driver-graduate of his university:
https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1034656/

Many criteria have questioned whether this is possible. well well.

I remember my best taxi driver. He really saved me. The flight was in the morning. Leaving home very early in the morning. And if I was late for him, I would have gotten a real ass. I was very afraid to sleep. It was a mission. But he slept. He was in some frustration and agitation, wearing around the house like a rage with the last collection. In the firefighter mode - for all about 40 seconds. Because the pre-ordered taxi has arrived and is waiting.

The firefighter came out of me fucking. As I rushed, I ran out in about an hour. After a long time, I can’t remember why I was so delayed. Certainly something of an important importance. Per the passport was not found in the ordinary box. Maybe you put the money in the wrong book. Not the essence. It’s that I ran out like a sparkly cock and honestly told the taxi driver the time of my flight. With sadness untold, he promised to add five hundred if he delivered to such a time. Otherwise a black shit. It is an honor to be on this flight.

I noticed that he shrugged. How he didn’t hit the price of ten in this arrangement – I’m surprised. Instead, he encouraged us that our case was hopeless.

Then began the French series Taxi. Through the deserted curved streets, which are unknown to navigators, it flashed through the entire center of Moscow to the traditional traffic jams in Leningrad. I didn’t know if I should be grateful or not. But in the traffic, life was not in a hurry.

Who is driving an alien? I looked at the taxi driver. Ordinary Slavic face. It’s amazing for a taxi. Looking further, the face is also smart and strong. It was as if they crossed an academic with a special force. It doesn’t get stuck in the traffic, but it does get stuck. What fucking unseen thing did I get? have talked.

He was my pilot. In the sense that many times he flew with me on board on the route Vladivostok-Moscow and back. He is my taxi driver. Not in my clerical sense, of course. I am his passenger. But guys, I’ve got my ears up! A few polite questions passed by in the middle of a long conversation. I’m convinced that Nippon is, of course. Yes, I am lucky in a taxi b. airliner pilot. He is lucky at the airport and is not especially excited that will not lucky me further, a few thousand kilometers away.

But how so? My brain exploded. This man at 40+ was raising huge IL-62 and Tu-154 into the sky. Take hundreds of passengers to another part of the planet. He successfully planted them, judging by the fact that they were still alive. Now he’s 50+ and he’s dragging my lonely body on the ground. How could this happen?

It turned out, simply. After the liquidation of the Russian fleet in the form of these very IL-62 and Tu-154, they were replaced by Western airbuses. The pilot 40+ did not want to re-learn them. Afraid that he is no longer young, he is poor in English, and threatens a few hundred passengers headed by him. Better than a taxi.

We surprisingly quickly arrived at the airport in this congestion. At last, I asked him what it was. When you have a couple hundred souls behind you, and you are responsible for them. He smiled, right now you were behind my back. In the only copy. Suppose you are at least two hundred. What difference? The main thing is that I want to live myself. I drive for myself and I sit. But most of all, when I was younger, I liked to drive the car, not the passengers.
What is SP? I asked Sonny.
The driver seemed to be disappointed. He explained politely:
The station is like that. It is called the North Pole. I usually dropped them from the air and flew back. But sometimes they cleaned the lane. How not to sit here?

have not agreed. I still regret not having met this man. Is it hard to drive so fast? I just didn’t have time to remember.

I found in your pocket ammunition and a note in Arabic!
- In fact, these are rectal candles and the recommendations of the doctor!

He lived in communion with two Tatar brothers. The elderly man owed money, and returned it in parts and reluctantly. During the next financial crisis, which happened to students at least once a week, they went to the debtor. The neighbor opened it and shouted into the room:

- Denis, the Tatars are here again for the tribute!

Any fool suspects vaguely that he is a fool. But there is a lack of evidence for the mind.

A surgeon told me. One day he examined the patient before the operation and she seemed to be familiar to him. I thought for a long time where he could see her and decided that most likely in the hospital where he was going on internship. He asks:
Do you work in the third hospital?
Yes there.
Is eating in the dining room just as bad?
I think yes. I still work as a chef there.

My first girlfriend was called Alla, but we broke up with her. Ironically, the second was also called Alla, and we also broke up with her. But now my friends call me Alcatester!

I remembered the story, I think a decent pickup.

My friend's story from the words of his acquaintance, who works in the Mercedes salon.

So, as on Friday, a guy with a girl comes to the salon, with happy faces they choose a car and their choice falls on one that is not available, or a color that is not in this salon. After they make a pre-order, the guy leaves a deposit of 100k rubles and they leave.

And it would seem that there is nothing unusual in this story, but on Monday the guy comes alone and takes the pledge...

And it happens again and again, only with other girls.

And this is due to the fact that, as I understood, in Mercedes such a policy - when refused they return the deposit all 100%

I went with my child to the bathtub park.

I landed unsuccessfully, as it became known later, rupture of ligaments, and other unpleasant things.

We sit on the stairs, waiting for Dad. Eaten with fruit.



Dialogue with my 4 year old daughter.



Mom, let’s go and eat again.

I can’t walk, my leg hurts.

But you can swallow, right?

Even if you brought a woman to orgasm, it doesn’t always mean you satisfied her.

There is a lot written about inadequate buyers. It will be positive. When the daughter was born, my ex-wife and I decided to buy a wheelchair, because there was no money for a new one, a lot was spent on repairs, children's mixtures. We found for 1,500 rubles a wheelchair, given together with a pear. Called - to travel through the whole city with a transfer on the bus. I came - the wheelchair is steep, the color is green with orange inserts, unusual, but sympathetic. He gave the money and started calling a taxi because he didn’t want to go with her in the bus. The time was about 21 hours. Taxi is not appointed. The girl seller said that let’s wait for her husband, he will come from work and take you home. I was really uncomfortable and I refused. While waiting for a taxi, she sent me to drink tea. Word by word, she just gave me three packs of baby diapers of the smallest size, one whole and one begun bowl of Nutrilon (a mixture for baby food, a substitute for breast milk) and baby slides and diapers (but all good and obviously smooth and washed). I was wildly uncomfortable, indeed, but if clean, then everything she gave was very necessary.
Her husband came. When he found out that the taxi wasn’t going, he just took me home. I just took it and took it. I invited them to drink tea, but they refused.
My wife, when she saw me loaded with all kinds of childish things, was in shock.
I was very pleased, such a sense of human love I had never experienced again.

Better to ride a bicycle to the beach every day than a Mercedes to work.

I have been married for 15 years and have decided to have a child.

We go with her to the pharmacy, she buys 8 packs of ovulation tests, 5 pieces in each.

I ask :

Is it for a year?

She answers:

-Listen, 15 years of marriage, I want to know exactly when ovulation, why another time to bother my husband with sex.

A surgeon told me. One day he examined the patient before the operation and she seemed to be familiar to him. I thought for a long time where he could see her and decided that most likely in the hospital where he was going on internship. He asks:

Do you work in the third hospital?

Yes there.

Is eating in the dining room just as bad?

I think yes. I still work as a chef there.

He was a subordinate officer in the city of Ottawa, and he was a subordinate officer in the city of Ottawa, for what he called Betmen. B 10 clacce y nac ought to be ypoq, consecrated to sicknesses, pedeed by sicknesses. We waited for this time, we, we, we, we, we, we, we were incompetent, like a 50-year-old uncle, a subcommittee in a military, we would be able to pick up pizza. They said, how he would be to blush and blush, the cymptoms of syphilis and gonopeia.

This day was typed. Bethman went to the clacc, we, the pitchers, xixikali in the dyche. And he said to them, “With this piece of money you know it and you use it! “And I said to him, ‘I know and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know.”

My partner at work is superstitious.

Nothing can be passed through the threshold, money can not be given in the evening, etc. We will argue and there will be no money, and everything in the same spirit.

Yesterday, I said you can’t give money!

I lost 5000!

I ask how?

Yes, the boss came to check, and I was a buoy. He was fined 5000. You should have had money in your hands!

I wanted to explain that crawling at work is the most silly sign, and the journey will not believe it.

Clean in pockets, like in Singapore.

When I was a teenager, I underwent a knee surgery. The doctor brought me a flommaster and told me to mark the right knee with a circle, and the second with a cross, and then left the room. I did everything exactly as he said.
And then he evened the arrows to the circle and wrote "Operate here", added more crosses on the other knee and the inscription "Do not touch". From boredom, I spent the next half-hour painting my own body and leaving messages like "I won't give the Appendix," "What did I do? The knee is below.” I even asked my mom to write something on my back like, “If you’re reading this, it’s not that side. Turn it.”
When the anesthesiologist appeared, I had time to cover up with a prosthesis. They told me that I was carrying all the nonsense before turning off, but that’s a different story. The operation went well and I had to stay in the hospital for the night. Later, the doctor came to see me and told me how I managed to break the schedule of the operation.
In general, when the staff removed the slide and read the same notes, everyone cried, not stopping, for ten minutes. Finally, having calmed down, with great difficulty taking themselves into their hands, they began to turn me over to put me on the operating table... And then they saw the last inscription...
As a result, the operation started half an hour later than planned, and all because of my love of drawing.

What did you do today, dear?
- I drove a certificate for the universe to do, then went to my parents, gave my dad the disc that I told you, and then went to work.
I thought I missed you.
I am always forgetting the correct answer.

As a child, my classmate Ruslan borrowed from me a Sega disc with the game Zero Tolerance. By the way, no one called our cartridges from gaming consoles cartridges, only disquets, and the disquets themselves - flops. So, the discet he did not give, saying that during the repair of the apartment he was poured with lime and he threw it out and in exchange gave me "Jungle strike" - the game undoubtedly deserves attention. But the problem is that Zero was played by my father and he wanted him back and he didn’t want to play in helicopters. I did not know what to do. But then I went on a visit to my classmate Egor and he and I went out into the yard, where we played chips with neighboring boys. I was in the height and played at one guy almost a whole tubus of Mortal Kombat chips. He had no chips left, and he begged to play with him for something else. Then I asked if he had any Segov games, including Zero Tolerance. I won the disc, but I regretted the guy and gave him his part of the chips. I asked for the sake of interest where he bought this game, he replied that my classmate Ruslan lost a discette to him in chips.

Teachers with the test went on vacation. I’m at home now, watering flowers. I remembered how it was the first time.

She also ordered the flowers. Then she left with her daughter (my then not even a bride, but a friend).

I was surprised by my future aunt. I asked her, “Well, how did you pour flowers?” I didn’t want to answer banally, “All polished, dear aunt.” I wanted to penetrate in this style: the hibiscus polished, the narcissus moisturized, the pion supplied with moisture...

To do this, he shot all the plantations, called for help in social networks. All the flowers were recognized, the names learned. Waiting for the question of the aunt about irrigation - deployed in a SMS twisted this is all. I sit down, all like adrenaline, waiting for admiration from the aunt.

The answer came almost immediately:

Did you bring your grandmother home? ? to