bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80747
 26.04.2013
Dialogue between IT recruiters:

A: Where does he work?
In a small and unknown company.
A: How is it called?
Here are the Latin letters en, vi, ай, di, ай, hey.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80746
 26.04.2013
Even if you know the price, it is not necessary to hang the price.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80745
 26.04.2013
They steal...
It is told that once a member of the Politburo and deputy head of the Soviet government Mikoyan came to a small town.
The director of the local meat plant, having gained courage, asked for permission to increase the number of guards in the company's scheduled schedule: too much is stolen.
Anastasia Ivanovich asked:
How many people work in the guard?
The director named the number of security personnel.
Mikhail friendlyly advised:
Reduce the guard by half. Thieves are less.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80744
 26.04.2013
Someone of the Great and Wise said, "When you change a shepherd, only the herd believes that the master changes."

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №80743
 26.04.2013
Previous Post: The Cold. A neighbor (C1) and a neighbor (C2) C1 roasted an egg for lunch and, looking for something to eat, found a bowl of hernia belonging to C2. C1 is eating. C2 suits, takes the ovary from C1, and he does not give. by C2:
You eat my fuck with a spoonful, and the eggs are swallowed!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80742
 26.04.2013
- mazzuta: for girls a special way to check the possibility of passing through the hole in the fence - if the bag has passed, then it will pass itself.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №80741
 26.04.2013
The news:
Mikhail Boyarsky leads the movement for the rights of smokers

The commentary:
Let him better defend the rights of the hat-bearers and the thirty-thousand-charts.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80740
 26.04.2013
xxx: here is the nahuya pycharm on an absolutely naked system puts 5 versions of the piton at the same time?
Don’t worry, he has a terrarium.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №80739
 26.04.2013
RinaHunter: I go three days back to the subway, behind me are two glamorous kiso, who will tweet something on Twitter - okay, I think to go out soon, let yourself tweet. And here we get into a blockade. I listen and understand Zen. Twice the honest word.
“I don’t eat GMO foods,” says Kiso on the left. Because they have genes.
Oh, I think I think. It will be a revelation! And really.... )
- And in foods without GMOs there are no genes, - continues Kiso. You can imagine they add people’s genes to food!
(Imagination is painting such a Doctor Evil figuring a potato of his own DNA.)
That is so harmful! He catches the kiosks to the right. I’ve heard that if a person eats a person, or his genes, well, somehow, he dies from poisoning.
I am thinking now. Maybe my stomach hurts because I eat people’s genes, right?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80738
 26.04.2013
X: The more pain in my heart, the more I press on the gas pedal.
You don’t have a car, fool.
Maybe there is a gas pedal.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80737
 26.04.2013
"From 12.00 to 15.00 on all channels, the CPSU Congress in one person"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80736
 26.04.2013
My thirst will destroy me. I searched for half an hour on the internet to download the book for free. Libraries, torrents and so on. I even decided to buy it. I need urgently... On a request to buy a book on Google, I didn’t give anything clear. I went to the author's website and voila - they lie there in free access. I feel a loser.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80735
 25.04.2013
The soul is immortal. Vampires are immortal. Vampires have no soul. Where is it stored? How is the death of the immortal? Is there an egg layer with the souls of vampires?
Q: What are you smoking?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80734
 25.04.2013
If a girl has been married five times and has been hit with goats every time, it means that she either doesn't choose there, or she chooses a fox.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80733
 25.04.2013
Olga
Although men do not need all kinds of cosmetologists there, they do not need depilation))) the morning got up, washed and was immediately beautiful!)))
Oksana
Beautiful from nature)))) Not what we are)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80732
 25.04.2013
Discuss video on the hub where the astronaut conducts experiments in non-gravity.

mifki: It’s cool when you can hang the microphone in front of you and free your hands.
k2m30: I am afraid that this habit will make him very upset when he returns to earth.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80731
 25.04.2013
- you have a normal weight, I will not feed, let me get more, and save again. How was the inch? Poultry per day?

I think she thought she was eating a lot ;)

He was too enthusiastic about slavery and automatically calculated the percentage, forgetting such a thing as the amortization of the Inch in the process of domestic slavery, which would entail its complete loss as a result of the operational loads before the costs start to exceed the profit.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80730
 25.04.2013
Dialogue in Argentina:

- Let's play a game, there all the cards are distributed, and somebody gets a murderer's card, and somebody gets a police card.
I know, it’s called "Police"!
And in Russia it is called "Mafia"!
In Russia, the police are the mafia.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №80729
 25.04.2013
See also Google.

Question: I broke up with a girlfriend and she gave me my companion for evil.
Answer: Give her a companion too.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80728
 25.04.2013
We go with my wife on the car on the track, the overlooked stands "a girl of easy behavior".
Can I take her with me?
Wife – what are you? It should be soaked in chlorine for two days.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna