When I meet a girl, I first look at her eyes... If they are, I don’t have a lot of chances.

He studied at the Institute in 2006. As the department was full-time, there was trouble with the work. I made a wash, no matter what money to drive. Worked for 2 weeks. We were replaced by Vitaly.

The dumb guy says nothing. The first thing that alerted me. On the second day of meeting, I called and asked for a loan of 1000 rubles. I naturally refused him. It seems he was swallowing, and knowing I don’t know him exactly.

I go to work after a couple. The manager is in panic. I ask what happened.

The administrator: “All the tube! All the money was stolen.”

The cameras are natural. began to look. This Vitalik on his working day, just approached, pulled out everything and dropped it. Admin in panic, where he lives, does not know. They worked naturally without work. They told me to call the owner. Everyone was nervous, there was our SP. By the way, at the time we got 25% from one car. I called the owner and we waited.

You will not believe! The door opens. The same Vitaly arrives. He goes into our dressing room in front of us and says, “Are you so strange? »

Admin asks with a stinking face, “Vital, why did you come back? »

Vitalik said, “I forgot to charge my phone.”

Naturally, Vitalik returned the money. Video showed him. He got it very hard then. They murdered brutally. There were also the admin and the owner, and the guys in exchange.

The paradox of all situations: steal the cash and return to charge the phone. What kind of devil should you be?

XXX: I stumbled out of the mortar tea seam. In general, the guys frozen, through the app you can see the temperature of the water, adjust to what temperature to heat up, the temperature-supporting mode, has a minimalist design. But shit, they didn’t foresee the most important thing because, in my opinion, you could have taken this cup of tea! There is no remote launch. that is. You still have to go to the boiler and press a button to boil the water. (Plus there is no sensor showing the water level.)

YYY: Can be turned on with a drone

Some banks are taking photos of their clients. I sat recently in such a neighbor's table a guy is re-crediting. The manager says to him:

Look at the webcam, I’ll take a picture of you.

He jokes subtly:

Should I smile?

The manager:

and no. Why to smile? The loan hangs on you.

The colleague stayed in Novomihilovsk (Krasnodar Territory) this summer.

We settled in a small private hotel. Near the sea, almost under the windows of the disco.

The 7-year-old daughter apparently bathed in the sea, from the nerves of moving, darkened and could not sleep, cried... The time was about midnight. I remind you: almost under the windows - a disco with eternal "For you, I will give digging" and "Black Eyes"...

A colleague went out to smoke on the doorstep, so as not to hinder his wife from laying the child.

The owner of the hotel appeared.

Why don’t you sleep, dear?

My daughter is crying, she can’t fall asleep... The disco is still running.

We will fix it, dear! The owner said and went somewhere.

A minute later, over the beach, the hotel and, accordingly, the disco, a loud voice heard:



Why do we listen to the same thing every night? Let us today instead of loud music listen to the noise of the sea, the voices of friends, the whisper of a beloved girlfriend. Let’s listen to a toast for a glass of wine! Especially because the noise from our discotheque prevents a child from falling asleep, who is a little sick. Let’s wish him health and make the music a little quieter. I hope you won’t object? A great thanks.



The man did not believe his ears. The disco continued, but the music was much quieter.



In the morning, my daughter woke up healthy.

He spoke to the hotel owner:



You are just a magician! Enormously thank you!

He only smiled cleverly:



No need to “Thank you” now. Come next year and thank you!

xxx: oh.... was with my wife, at the time when she was not yet a wife, a rabbit... how much this furry cold was fucking, it was a puzzles... she was fucking on the floor evenly so that it was impossible to get on the floor and not get on her "dirty"

YYY: It is clear. What about the rabbit?

To the Russian heaven is to the American to die.

Military cleverness is a necessary thing in the army, disorienting the enemy is not a field for you to cross. At those exercises, our group was created from representatives of different families of troops, according to the legend, the remains of the broken units left in the deep rear of the enemy. The goal and task is to survive without communication, without possession of the general military situation and conducting sabotage actions. All conditions are closest to combat. According to the same legend, an army special force consisting mainly of officers was sent to our destruction. It was clear that the special forces would heat up in the deep night, when we were exhausted from the march of throwing and carrying out combat tasks and had to stagnate in the field camp for a short rest. Protecting a camp when professionals act against you is a difficult and possibly even impossible task with our forces. Therefore, after a small operational meeting, an unusual decision was made. Our group broke up into two parts, most of the mashalata's clothes lay in the nearest hole, masquerading themselves in swarms, and a small one created in the camp an imitation of his vital activity. Lie in a cage even in military equipment, when you can not smoke anything, move, it is not sweet, but your life is at stake, even if it is conditional. How their intelligence group worked, we proceeded the campaign, but they did not calculate us, and our in the camp simulated a full outing of excellent. At about 3 p.m. we found the main. They moved like ghosts merging with the snow, and only the shadows of a rare moon made them move. And the commander gave the team – forward. Attacks from the rear the special forces did not expect, we rushed in a fierce rush with heartbreaking cries. Every oral was what it could, this cry raised our military spirit and was supposed to bring confusion into the ranks of the enemy. In the first fight, we crashed on them like a wave on a rock. Great results did not give, but it aligned the front line, putting us and their walls on the wall. A small pause occurred, the enemy apparently analyzed where help came from to the object being cleansed, and we looked at them and thought they were foolish or not foolish. The wolves of the special forces stood against us. The matter. Years of learning to kill. There is no place for either master or martial arts. The situation was rescued by Sergeant Gordeev, who remained in the camp with a group of "mullage". This is his cry:
In time brothers. We are terrified on both sides! Forced the special forces to dissolve in the snow.
No, they did not shake, did not escape, just the military science of their units says that if the intelligence data do not coincide with the real situation, it is impossible to develop an operation to avoid personal losses.
It was not a pure victory in the battle, but it allowed us to survive the night, and the light to go in front of any even the super-trained special forces, just filled. We represented their selection and were proud that we were not a lick. That, by the way, at the end of the exercise confirmed the command.

The Russian government has decided to raise taxes for the population to stimulate the growth of the economy.
Immediately after, the Chinese authorities announced an urgent reduction in taxes for the population to stimulate economic growth.
So the most important secret of China’s success and economic prosperity of the last 30 years has been uncovered by chance: These cunning narrow-eyed people do what our “efficient” do, and then just do the exact opposite.

The client may look cute and adequate, but any little thing that attracts you in the eyes, activates your mode "What are you wearing? “” One day at a wedding meeting, the future bride was interested in my personal life: married, if children and all of the like. Until that point, the whole conversation was going on in a normal mode, so I didn’t feel the noise. He said he is married and has a child too. I even joked that you too are getting married and there can be nothing between us. That humour came to the guys. The next question is, how was your wedding? If you were a photographer, was she perfect?



I didn’t have a wedding, but it was purely formal. We came to the ZAGS, scheduled in the office, went together to a restaurant, flew out of the country. It upset our relatives, not parents, they were happy, but I didn’t think this format would upset any of my future clients. The girl began to be interested in the reason for this decision, to which I replied: "We make a huge number of weddings every year, so we saw everyone and decided to make this holiday only personal." This only stunned her and already began to believe that our decision was false. I stopped the lady by saying that my past had nothing to do with their present.



The next words made me stumble. The girl said she could not entrust the shooting of the wedding to a man who denies this sacred act. If I refused my own celebration, and even persuaded my wife to do so, then I cannot film my wedding at all. After that, she went out. The future husband of the lady humbly apologized, saying that her principles and marriage she considers a sacred act. A few years later, they asked me to remove the baptism of their child. I said I am a convinced atheist. They refused.

I had a dog, Bob. Healthy, loose like a bear, with thick black wool. The Yakutsky Love. Excellent dog, one disadvantage - without eyes, i.e. completely blind. What did not prevent him from going hunting with me and dragging shot ducks out of lakes. And the eyes dried out for a long time - when I was a puppy, one eyelid was short, and in a dream the eye was slightly opened - well, and the crown in the eye slunged while sleeping in the shade. He remained with one eye, but for a short time - a year later, in a fun dog fight with the rest of the village lovers, the second eye disappeared. It first discouraged him a little, then he got used to it and seemed not to pay attention to the darkness around him. Activated in his head a natural navigator, and perfectly performed in the complete absence of visibility "instrument navigation". Moreover, his navigator worked excellently - repeatedly noticed that on an unknown road he goes with caution only the first time, the next time he runs confidently, bypassing obstacles (sometimes already non-existent). Having stumbled upon the gates for the first time - passes under them, for the second time, for example, the gates are already opened - and he still passes through the place where the gates were last time.

Beautifully caught neighboring cats from boredom, pretending to sleep at a bowl with food, chased uninvited guests from the yard. He served his food honestly, without demanding disability discounts. He went to work with me, to the village power plant.

In the warm weather, he ran through the forest around the station, updating the map, for the remaining 9 months lying in the corner of the electrotech on the floor and listening to people's conversations. At home, he lived in a rainbow in the winter, in the summer, just outdoors or in a cone, if it rains. In the winter morning you go out into the courtyard - and from the grove in front of the entrance a whirlwind of snow, and from it - Bim, with a smile to the ears. Love is a fun dog.

Once I moved to work at another power plant - to the airport, four kilometers before it, three of them by the taiga. Well, it is necessary to cross the river in the winter, in the summer to cross by ferry or a boat. The reel there is 200 meters wide in the spill, but deep (specially deeped by the land for ships), and fast. The first work shift, went alone - Jim wandered around the village on his dog business, well. The freezer was under 40, so it came quickly, as much as sweating. I live in a new place, study the equipment, all the business. This is a diesel driver for me: did you see a joke? He calls to the window. I see - on the street of Bim by his own person, the door with a shovel stands and pushes. It opens out. I found it, a trail! So he went with me to work, indeed, I worked there for a day, two days later, so I took food with him - two or three ice cream cakes. He was very respectful of Struggle.

He lived for about 18 years, and died quietly and quietly - he was already old at all, did not eat well, slept mostly. I sat in the courtyard on the bench, smoked, stared at the river, approached Bim, shaken, placed my head on my knee, as always, I scratched him behind his ear, he breathed, lay down at his feet and stopped breathing.

The epithelium. A century lived, a century studied, and never worked.

XXX is deaf. Vanessa will never have a girlfriend. We must finally accept this.
WOW (previously covered with the cold after): What did this downside do again?
xxx: This fool read from some other mancubus that when dating a girl should: a) laugh; b) enchant with his own craving; c) enter the "non-resource state".
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???? to
XXX: He decided to unite everything. He put a red light on his eye and put on dark glasses.
WOW: Taaak...
Then in the park, he approached a girl who liked him resting on the bench, confidently wrapped her on his shoulders, took off his glasses and turned on his dirty LED!
Yyy: Oh God... I need your clothes?
XXX is ugum. She says, after this phrase, the girl’s heels flashed in front of her whisper. And now he asks me – what did he do wrong?? to

When the Holy Spirit cries:
“Rush you, live in heaven.”
I would say, “Don’t go to heaven.
Give me my country.”
by S. Esenin
The great poet really knew something.

In the mid-1990s, my husband was at a wedding. All like everyone, competitions, fun, vodka. The wedding went in its turn – hmella, the guy sitting in front of me climbed faster than the others. So it happens. He began to smite the people sitting next to him, the girls, the guys with whom he could scatter his eyes, and reacted to comments with aggression. In one word, the monkey chained.

They took him out on the street for prevention, and this ugly man pulled out the pen-pistol, the older generation probably remembers it was such in bad times, and let's scream that it will hit anyone now. In general, the pen was removed, the mouth was slightly removed and released. The wedding went well, there were no more excesses.

And in the morning, familiar mints tell how this dwarf fled to the house, took the calash with three shops and a couple of grenades. They intercepted him a kilometer from our restaurant. As I said, your documents? Take the machine out of the bag. While the store inserted the bucket, they had time to turn the fool.

And so over time more and more you realize from what heat the wedding of a hundred people jumped.

P. S is

If he was then three or four years, after sitting down, he shot two people in a couple of years.

His further fate is unknown to me.

Once we went on an excursion. In the Icarus. We were pioneers, and the excursion was to the museum, to drive a hundred kilometers. In general, we go in pioneer cravates, snow on the street, we sing songs. We did not know that this Icarus was a transformed soul-loss. He was like a crematorium on the outside, and inside he gave gas from the soul. In a clean field it started. One pioneer stumbled straight on the carpet trail between the rows of seats. There was a chain reaction. Two pioneer units began to water everything around, and each other. And it happened somehow instantly. I also felt I couldn’t stand it now.

And I remembered how during the change in school, an old warrior told us, a couple of boys washing the floor in the chemistry office for some provinces, how he survived during the war.

He was like us, 10 years old. Suddenly the Germans arrived, all who were caught were loaded into a moving shower and taken to the woods of the village. People thought they were being taken somewhere to work. No one knew what the car was. When he saw all around him asleep, he was wet of fear. There was a cloth in the pocket, it was wet. Losing consciousness, he instinctively took the cloth and pressed it to his nose. He eventually woke up in the night among a bunch of dead bodies.

In Icarus I had a jacket in my pocket. I soaked the cloth with condensate from the glass, and closed my eyes so that I couldn’t see the fountain pioneers. A few minutes later, the driver stopped and opened the door. The frosty air hit the room. Pioneers started jumping out on the street, and boiling the snow with the remains of breakfast. You can imagine what happened inside the room. Only a few are clean, and I am one of them. It is clear that we did not go to the museum, but under the curse of the driver turned and went back.

Thank you military! I don’t remember your name, but I remember how you looked at us, the hooligans with clothes in their hands, and said we’t need it. It was useful. Maybe you will also need.

xxx: I played a lot in Doom and now I work in Doom

Yyy: But you should have shot the devils, not joined them!

The boss is such a bastard that if he is not a bastard, he is not the boss.

about our medicine. My wife and I retired and bought a house in a village on the border of the Saratov and Volgograd regions. The children, granddaughter and grandchildren live in the Moscow region, the grandson in Saratov. On vacation, on vacation - all to us: the river Bear, natural food, clean air, simple good people. The village has a hospital, the building was built in 1914, water heating, high large chambers. I was born there in 1945. The hospital worked under the cursed tsarism, under the equally cursed socialism, and under the current democracy became unprofitable, they wanted to close! The hospital was closed, and the daily reception of the patients was left. Not during the day, but until noon.
Now the story itself. I visited my grandson Vanjuza in the summer. The first class is over! Riding around the village with friends on a bicycle, learned to ride without holding the steering wheel and one evening stumbled, fell, straightened his skin on his left knee around the asphalt. The mother of one of her friends, who lived near the fall site, washed her knees with hydrogen peroxide and friends and friends put Vania on a bicycle and brought her home. I bowed my knees, went to bed, and took Vania to the hospital in the morning. During the night, the bandage should be dampened to remove. The nurse brought a bottle of peroxide, poured out - not enough! But no more! The nurse tells me: Do you have a mango at home? I say there is. She is: Bring it. Another says: We can buy furacilin in the pharmacy kiosk, dilute and water, it will be faster. Bought, divorced, polished, the bandage removed. I have to wrap. What will we smash? Do you have Bipanthenes at home? I : I have. She is: Bring it. Dentist: I will bring now (living across the road from the hospital). I brought, named, bandage I bought in the pharmacy kiosk, clogged. This is what? There is nothing in the hospital for the child!!! Tell me, please, the censorship words to evaluate our medicine!
But that is not all! Literally a day ago, an optical fiber cable was taken to our hospital! We will be treated online. There are no medicines, there is the internet. Well again tell me the censorship words and to whom to tell them!

Finally, Putin honestly admitted that paradise life in Russia could only come as a result of a nuclear strike.