A recent story about girls in the universities. This is from the site Techtales. History of 20 years ago. Translation from English.

* is

History is long.

It was 10 minutes after closing. I was about to leave the computer store, where I worked as a part-time seller/tech support from November 15th (now December 20th, 1997). What can you do for money for unnecessary Christmas presents?

The phone ringed. I should have left anyway, but I answered.

Hi, my name is ______, the store is now closed, but if you want to leave together...

I think it’s % closed. I bought this *@#%^! The printer, and it does not work, and I need to immediately print *@#%^!It is an important document!

(It’s definitely in a bad mood, so it’s all *@#%^!$ I cut it off.

What’s wrong with your printer?

He does not print! This is not the case!

Are all wires connected?

c) Yes Yes Yes Yes

Is the printer on?

CL is included!

I guess you followed all the instructions in the instructions, right?

The instructions? I’m not an idiot, I don’t need instructions to connect the printer. In general, what am I talking to you? I want to talk to technical support.

I am a tech support!

Nothing like that!

I am a tech support!

You are a woman!

I, and the woman too.

CL) I want to talk to someone who understands computers.

I understand computers. (I’ve been working with computers and on computers for a long time, not to mention that I’m a software developer outside the store.)

Get off the phone and let me talk to a man.

I should hang the phone.

I) Sir, the store is closed, and there is no other technical support here.

Q. You are a woman.

The conversation clearly went into a deadlock, shoes shake, I want to go home. I turned around and saw Brian (name changed). The cleaner!

I guess you sir! I can call you a man.

I called Brian and persuaded him to help me with this chauvinist.

Hello Sir, my name is Brian, how can I help?

Please note that the chauvinist has stopped.

CL) My printer is not working, Brian.

I) Ask him if he installed the driver attached to the printer.

Have you installed the driver attached to the printer?

There were no drivers attached to the printer.

No drivers were attached to the printer.

I am hmm.

Brian is hmm.

Ask him what type of printer.

What type of printer, sir?

CL I don’t know. And I wonder what model, I want this thing to work (a desperate voice).

Brian) He doesn’t know, he wants the printer to work.

I) Ask his name and the name of the seller who helped him choose the printer.

Sir, what is your name?

CL) Bob Smith (name changed)

and Bob Smith.

I) Okay (I enter the name, check with the database and check what he last bought).

Sir, do you remember the name of the seller who helped you with your purchase?

No sellers helped me. I knew what I needed, and I paid for it in the box. I do not trust the sellers.

No one helped him. He chose the printer.

I am wonderful!

Brian has noticed!

I) Brian, tell him we can’t help him with anything today (I’m looking at the database).

Sir, we can’t help you today. Can I advise you to come in tomorrow?

CL Why?

Brian why?

I) Because its purchase is not a printer... it is a fax. It needs to be connected to the phone. Not to the computer.

Sir Brian...

Near the office building on the doorstep two candidates for vacancy are nervously smoking. One to another:
Did not take?
“I didn’t take... Wow, the pathinoid, the damned vathnik!” Normally, it all went so, and then he asks – and how do I feel about the annexation of Crimea? I honestly said that this is all Putin’s punishment and that Russia will still pay for it. And right away - all, goodbye, you don't fit us. It is normal, yes?! to
– No, wait, you’re confusing something... This shit is a liberal rotten! He asked me about the Crimea... I immediately answered clearly that the Crimea is ours and we need to go to all those who are only whispering about the integrity of our territory!! And yes, I said goodbye, what kind of shit?

At this time, a very satisfied third applicant comes out of the building. The first two to him:
Did not take?
A normal man is like this...
You asked about Crimea?! to
I asked...
Well, what did you say?! to
I said I don’t talk about politics at work.

The dog’s food is over. The dog wants to eat. I had to go to the supermarket...
I stand in line to the box c with a full pedigree cart. The lady from behind asks: Do I have a dog?
I got! “No, I bought it for myself. I sit on a diet. and again. Although, probably, it is not worth it, because the time I was on this diet, I was in the hospital... Although, before that, I had time to lose 25 pounds.
And then, bac, and I am in the resuscitation, with tubes in all the holes and droplets in both hands.”
It is not infectious, infection. He wants to know what a diet is and how to stick to it.
Okay, I asked for myself. “Very simple. The diet is ideal: you need to carry full pockets of food with you, and every time you feel hungry, eat one or two granules. In general, a balanced diet. And now, you are just shining up with health! Just like that dog.”
Oh, the whole turn has been interested, especially the guy who is behind this lady. Hey, that was what I should have expected! I wonder how I got into the resuscitation? What poisoning are you? I sat in the middle of the road and licked eggs, and the bus hit me!”
YES is! Madam is fainting, she clearly needs a psychiatrist for her. Why beating your head at the floor of laughter? But my mood rose... I wanted to hit my leg and put a jet on the box, but I thought that the overturn would be.

In the years of studenthood, I had the honor of studying with an elderly teacher of Russian literature, the name I will not name (I remember, I just will not name), but I hope very much that she is still in good health.

Once upon a time, the couple talked about the marriage relationship of the heroes of a novel. The teacher suddenly thought and said:

“You know, and I have a wonderful relationship with my husband. We have been married for over thirty years. I have been teaching Russian literature for 25 consecutive years, he is a candidate of mathematical sciences. We walk a lot, we spend a lot of time together. We do not talk at all! It is beautiful.”

A bad authority deceives its own people, a good one deceives another.

A strange guy travels through the theatre.

According to Boris Levinson:

In 1962, the Mayakovsky Moscow Theatre, where I worked at the time, was on tour in Leningrad. At that time, the so-called “Caribbean crisis” occurred. Everyone was afraid that a nuclear war with the United States was about to begin.

That night we played Hamlet. On the stage is Polonius. It was played by Lev Naumovich Sverdlin, a popular artist of the USSR. Suddenly, a man in an ordinary jacket appears on the stage, he has a piece of paper in his hands, and he resolutely moves toward the ramp. Everything in the room was frozen. What should happen to make this happen during the show? Only the war.

The man approaches the front scene and says in the terrible silence of the hall:
The comrades! I was not paid for this job at the theater. Asked to renew the decorations, I did everything, I have a contract, and money is not paid.
There was literally hysteria in the room. Hockey with somebody’s hats.

The curtains, like all the performances performed by Ohlopkov, were not in the show. Sverdlin ran toward this man, twisted his hand and pushed him behind the scenes. He was caught by the assistant director.

For a long time I could not calm the room and continue the show. Somehow they started. And here is the scene of Polonius with Claudius, and Polonius has words about Hamlet:

I often see him here, he walks through the galleries.

Another explosion in the hall. It was hard to finish the show.

To be honest, if at one time I could only imagine that under my life the sharp Vladik Tretyak, the long-legged Svetka Zhurowa, the cranky Slavka Fetišov, the eternally dark Sakha Karelin and the iron-wrapping iron-wrapping Lech Voevod would become great state figures and would make laws for me, I would not be so enthusiastic about their physical achievements.

My elderly friend has a wife. She is also a woman of a very respectable age, but at the same time a passionate fan! When she’s watching football or basketball, she’s kidding so loud that neighbors come and ask her husband what he and his wife are doing that she’s so matte?? to

Naturally, he comes to her room and says:

Zina is calm. Shame in front of people.

What she answers:

Stay back! I am a philosopher! My name is right!! to

Of all the deadly sins, despair is the saddest. Adultery is the most fun.

I am always for silence. I am one of those people who think that breaking the silence in a public place is disgusting. I have always believed that in a public place (café, restaurant, train station or in a plane) you should behave in a way that does not cause inconvenience to people nearby. Unfortunately, not everyone shares my point of view.

I drive in an electric car (with seats), the whole car is sold, there are no free seats. A mother with a child appears. Child of 6 years.

Young man, you took our place.

No, this is my ticket.

There is a place at the window.

No, here is my place No. 21 on the scheme next to the window.

- I and the child, miss us to the window, he wants to look out the window.

I hate such situations because I know they will never give up if I ask. A couple of times my wife and I were asked to give us a seat next to people sitting alone, we never gave up.*** by

Okay, I give up my seat, I wait another 10 minutes until they disassemble things, while helping to put heavy things on the upper shelf. We are going. After 15 minutes.

Young man, please sit back, the window is blowing.

Sorry what? You chose the place yourself.

Do you know that a child can get rid of it?

Can I read the book calmly? You have moved me. If the child is suffocating, sit there.

Psihanul eventually moved. He got a shirt from above, placed them a piece of the window. My aunt has been considering the design for a long time, apparently she didn’t know how to do it.

The child had to have fun outside the window. My mother gave him a plan and it started. Children's cartoons about lucky, chunga-changa and so on. Without the headphones.

Do you give you headphones? (I offer my own)

No thanks, he is okay.

It disturbs the sound on the plan.

Well, what I will do is a child, what I can do.

- Give him expensive headphones in which he can watch cartoons at least all the way.

Here a song of fixics sang in the whole voice. I am psychic.

He got the tablet, opened the yandex and entered "PORNO". At the request appeared some awful Japanese cartoon, where in the orgy participated, two girls, a robot and a man in a clown mask.

The child was distracted, realizing that my story was more interesting.

Turn off now!

Why is?

You are not allowed to put porn on the train.

It’s not porn and I don’t even play music. Either you turn off the damn sound and I turn off the cartoon, or we keep watching mine.

Do you give me your headphones?

No is!

The rest of the road we walked in silence. And most importantly, I hate people who view politeness and education as weakness.

The government is the kind of people who take our money, leave some for themselves, and create problems for the rest.

Half of the officials must share camouflages and send them into the forest.

And not to send rescuers, but hunters.

zzz: Then not camouflage, but orange vests with reflectors)

And not in the forest, but along the wall to build.

A girlfriend took her younger son from the kindergarten. The teacher warned of the questionable influence of the elderly (in the 11th grade) on the younger, telling about testing. The children were given the task of picking an anthony to the word stupid. Her (friends) son replied stubbornly: to the word dumb Anton - the wise. Even after raising questions in the form of showing pictures with knives, he never gave up and insisted on his own.

I drove in a new friend’s car yesterday.

We sit down, touch, rejoice in the silence in the cabin, the dynamics of the drive. We will find out how.



I touch the seats. I am I, my friend D

Am I an Alcatraz?

D is yes.

Then proudly

D is a very expensive material - skin twisted.

I – who said?

Explained in the salon. They said that it is more expensive than ordinary skin because not every skin can be turned out.

I (opening the Internet) - "Alcantar is a finishing material. It is also known as artificial shrinkage. Alcantar is made of polyester and polyurethane fibers, and is a synthetic analogue of zamsh.



Increased silence

D (within a few minutes) - it seemed like I was thrown out in the salon.

A few years ago I was in an interview. A girl came to us immediately after the institute to the post of secretary. Our staff started collecting her papers.

You have a higher economic education. In our company there is a job close to your specialty. Maybe you want to try yourself in this position.

and no. thank you. I want to be a secretary.

But why? Your salary is 30% higher and you will be able to grow. Still, a secretary is a position that does not imply career and professional growth.

The girl turned red and whispered with a quiet voice.

You know, I am not very smart. I was very difficult to study at the institute and I am afraid that I will simply not be able to fulfill the responsibilities related to the education received.

I don’t know how this girl looked at the staff and management. As a result, she was taken to the post of secretary and began to slowly load her duties on specialty. A couple of years later, when she learned a little, she was transferred to one of the departments where she worked for many years in a regular position.

And yes, she did not deceive and very objectively assessed her level of intellectual abilities. Although they were enough to perform the standard cyclical duties at the ordinary post, sometimes it burned out so that I just couldn’t believe the person wasn’t joking.

The comrade told me. I recently came to the boss for an urgent call. The head of a serious enterprise, pretty cool on decisions. Because he who holds on to his place tries not to anger him. I talked quickly with a colleague on the doorstep. Molly, what is he calling? It is cloudy, it is talking, it is sitting, it is asking everyone - who is whining. No one confesses. Comrade only shouldered his shoulders - he personally was at all to the point whether the bosses knew about his love of alcohol or not. His direction developed successfully, everything went as it should and even better. Here he comes to the boss. that :

Do you drink alcohol?

Who doesn’t drink!

It looks like we have one. What exactly do you drink?

Everything that burns! After all, he is not drunk at work, but what he spends his free time - the bosses should not be touched.

Oh... well that’s good. I had an Armenian cognac in my closet, brought by Siberians during the visit. And I have all this where - health is not that, doctors forbade drinking. Take it yourself!

Even the ferries cannot afford to walk a horse.

Recently, two weeks ago, a not the most pleasant story happened to my girlfriend.
She married a year ago. With eyes opened by happiness. Then she lived with her, not suffering from home. She studied at the university (we were group members), he worked not know who, but they had enough. Such a pleasant, calm life. I don’t even remember they were fighting.
The words of a friend.
The action takes place two weeks ago.
Senya, a colleague, told me yesterday that I was no longer the one I was before. That family life is ruining my beautiful young body, and I am constantly baby. I didn't even take this into account at first, he likes the ugliness just to say so, and then I thought about it. And the truth is, from the dances left, the load is little, you have to do yourself. I found on the Internet a complex of "a-la slimness for 5 minutes a day" and started. There you need to do the plank several times, from which I because of the carpet (which, by the way, my husband's aunt gave us for the wedding) on the elbows are printed. Then I go to work in a shirt. is ugly. Who knew that these Rombians would serve me such a service.
I did a little and forgot about it.
After a while, I get up at home, and a neighbor comes down to meet me. I tell her, say, when you get the money back (she borrowed 500 rubles for two days, and more than a month has passed).
She, of course, insisted, but I insisted and we went home to her. When she took off her jacket, I almost stumbled. On her elbows are robberies. Fucking rubies from our blanket.
What fucking thing did she go down to her floor? I could hardly wait until she gave the money, the bullet escaped. I get up, and there is a man in one of his trousers. Hello to you, sweet. I passed apart, I say, go and shake the carpet, or it is dusty. He complained, but he went. As I walked, I picked up his pieces and put them in the entrance. At the top of the note, who was fucking on this carpet, let it fall. He did not even argue. I filed for divorce.
P.S And for those 500 rubles I bought a beer to Sen, a colleague. Without him, I would have lived with a cowboy.

The Federal Antimonopoly Service proposes to remove Google and Apple products from all smartphones and replace them with Russian developments. I strongly support the FAS, as should be removed from all Mercedes officials and replace them with Russian developments, Lada Kalina for example.

I have lived in a big city recently. A cousin and his wife came to see how it was arranged, like a new apartment. I sit in the kitchen and drink tea.

Brother (B): A very good apartment. What do you like most about her?

I: - The windows go out to the courtyard, so it is very quiet here: no one is making noise under the windows.

B: What’s on the other side of the house?

I am a cemetery.

B (after a second pause): Well, there is no particular noise for anyone.