bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83325
 25.06.2013
Alexis: Hello to you! How is it?
Marla: Broken
Alex: Have you been here a long time?
Tagged: yesterday
How did you meet at work?
Marla: Ppc, almost struck
Alex: Why did you come back? The Poor! Why don’t they like you so much at work?! to
I should have returned a week ago.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №83324
 25.06.2013
Hearing at work:
(N - chief, p - subordinate, former military one and a half times older than the chief)
A bad boss is one whom his subordinates have not called a fool at least twice a day.
N – What about me?
Q: You are a very good boss.

Even the cactus laughed in the hallway.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83323
 25.06.2013
HHH: Cheto rju I washed the windows on my first floor today. The husband walks admired:"we seem to have included the channel "Nature" in hd!" )))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83322
 25.06.2013
xxx: Wonderful, as usual.All the same old characters, riches of the country of Belarus : Previously judged with Nothing-on-working.
YYY: Lack of a repeatedly attracted, he probably got sick.

[ + 23 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83321
 25.06.2013
"Man, do you enjoy when you’re blown in the yard? No is? Here I hate to see how homics kiss on the street, gently embrace and so on. It is disgusting and disgusting. It is unnatural. I don’t want my kids to see it."

Where more disgusting, disgusting and disgusting when cigarettes and other garbage fly onto the road from the windows of cars. I am always angry when my children see men right on the street sucking beer out of their throats - just a distortion of something!I am irritated by the sound of the perforators - I just want to sometimes cut the throats of these wall-picking debris.
On this background, a popular kiss of two homics... well, unpleasant, of course – but no more. I saw here a blonde kissing her pocket pocket - it was overwhelmed by disgust.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83320
 25.06.2013
very sarcastically always treated to quotes with the trailer "this country is not to be defeated" but after found in the news, the hand itself pulled
A drunk fan struck a football field on a tractor. Photographs "

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №83319
 25.06.2013
Today, to stand out, you have to be like everyone else.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №83318
 25.06.2013
The second story from Igor Petrovich, a retired lawyer, the father of a little truthful girl Anetka.
Anetka grew up, learned, married, gave birth to her daughter, Olenka, and became a judge. And during a conversation with my husband in a close family circle, it was decided not to post my mother's profession. At least Anna insisted. And the husband of Anetchkin was completely confused.
How should I answer a child’s question? Should I lie?
Tell me something.
A little girl comes to me and asks where, say, my mom works. What should I answer? In the slaughterhouse?
Don’t shake my head and don’t portray an idiot, you’re an adult man.
And, it must be said, Aneschkin’s husband did not follow the family legal path. He is a composer. A man, so to speak, is creative. Anetche on the first date dedicated a musical work of his own composition. What advantageously distinguished him from the diverse courtyard spana, whose musical knowledge was limited to three chords. Annette was so upset.
But this situation had a reverse side. The Anetchino family considered her husband to be a lame man, a thief, who can only crack on the piano. He does not go to the factory until eight in the morning, he does not get his salary. However, the composer's income eventually exceeded the income of the lawyer, and formally the son-in-law had nothing to show. But some note of neglect in the attitude slid through. If you have nothing to do, go for a walk with your child. No need to look out the window and wait. You can wait and move your legs. No, he can catch up. It is equipped with wings.
My husband had nothing against walking. She loved and danced. And so the favorite and regular object of their visits became the local amusement park. Wheel of view, carousels, crawlers, slot machines, barrel with quas, buffet with cookies. The march, which for other children was a holiday once a month, has become a routine, even to say, routine.
In addition to the direct pleasure of all kinds of pleasures, Olya could negligently throw something like “ah, again these carousels” or “how tired of this sugar wool.” Such, as we would say now, the "glamorous" way of life elevated the Elephant above the girlfriends by three heads and made her somebody like a little princess.
Aneschkin's husband is still concerned with the women's hearts, and then, being a little over thirty, in soft geek shoes and velvet jeans, he was simply irresistible. No Alain Delon has even run around. Girls-carousellers, managers of slot machines and sugar wool sellers instantly noticed a lonely daddy-dendi who loves his daughter and never appears in the company of his mother.
Clearly, the girls began to throw the pins. And so carefully, through the daughter. According to a well-known scenario.
Who is so beautiful here? What is your name, girl?
The Elephant!
What is your father’s name?
by Artem!
Why don’t you take your mom with you?
The seller is slightly choking, but the hope is still warm. Maybe the mother died in a terrible car accident, and a good dad, in order not to injure the child's psyche, tells the child that the mother is at work. Therefore, there is a question of control on the machine.
Where does Mom work?
Dad is stressed. He remembers a recent conversation with his spouse and a clear instruction that the child should answer such questions. There was no explanatory conversation with the child. And before, somehow, the topic of my mother's profession in conversations with Olivia was not affected. Therefore, the father begins to think feverishly about how to so delicately engage in the conversation of the child with the seller and get away from the slippery question.
It should be noted that parents often underestimate the acuity of children's hearing and children's intelligence.
- At the slaughterhouse - clearly, with an icy tone, Elenka answers the seller's question and stares hard in her eyes. She doesn’t need a competitor for her dad either. Suddenly he will start to ride the saleswoman on the carousels and feed her with cotton candy? No to you, dude.
On this day, the lawn with the watt closed early. The next day, the cries to the elephant's dad stopped.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №83317
 25.06.2013
I sit and watch Soviet movies of the 1970s. Once upon a time, the Russians worked on all their buildings themselves.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83316
 25.06.2013
I have a friend who works with an internet provider.

It was rainbow today. sent to the mail: "a sudden sharp increase in traffic across the country". in 15 minutes: "all OK, a new patch for World of Tanks" has been released

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83315
 25.06.2013
Don't Fuck My Mind: Fuck looking at the employee's notebook, I have the feeling that when she installed the software on the laptop she said: "bga, antivirus, more antivirus, more antivirus!!! More Antivirus for the God of Antivirus!!!and "

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83314
 25.06.2013
What do I hear at night?
Sleeping, from the neighbor’s room: "Have you fed the monsters?".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83313
 25.06.2013
Review: Three Meters Above the Sky: I Want You
yyy: This movie should be called "Split 2: I'm a loch"

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №83312
 25.06.2013
Disputes about Geisha
I wonder who and where each other is going, it’s unpleasant. But I want only one more. to the rainbow.(no matter how many colors) again became a symbol of childhood, joy, and not pedics and gay parades. That’s why I’m against the backbone.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83311
 25.06.2013
XXX: Her husband has stolen her
xxx: First, the week at home appeared exactly after the children were laid
xxx: And secondly, he said, “give me a cigarette, I’ll go with Serega on the phone to talk,” took three and went to Kirov.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №83310
 25.06.2013
Judging by the number of scores earned by quotes, funny and good simply translated.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83309
 25.06.2013
G&G and G&G; No I am not hinting at anything! It is coincidence!
June 19 – A container car with weapons for Syrian militants broke in half
June 20 - Day of the Specialist of the Mining Torpedo Service of the Russian Navy

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83308
 25.06.2013
Zack is fucking!
Vasya: What do you have?
Zaxod: I promised my son to make a report, but there was not enough time and I decided to shrink.
Vasya: and
Zaxod: Calls to school. Which hero has the same design for Lucomoria and Wikipedia?! to

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №83307
 25.06.2013
Have you heard of anti-piracy law? He still went out.
So I’ve already decided for myself: if I’m deprived of my pre-last joy – watching Japanese cartoons, I’ll go to the last one – I’ll kill.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83306
 25.06.2013
Skyld: Word 2007 is an extremely pro-state program.
Skyld: Because, how else to explain that it replaces the "mentions" to "Mentov"
Neuro4ka: o.o
Neuro4ka: Updated Should be replaced by "The Lord of the Police")
At any rate, hit the gap in the fingers.

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