I’m in the store today and I’m buying chocolate. The grandmother of God comes and says to me, "Our granddaughter, please buy me milk, there is nothing to eat." Well, I felt upset, of course I need to help the old man! Seller Kiev, ask for more milk. My grandmother said, “Choose what you want.” She said to the saleswoman, “The best and the most expensive for me!” I’ve blunted, but okay, let it be so. Kiva seller, what said let us which grandmother chose. Here the grandmother said, "Oh, granddaughter, and you can have more water, or I want to go far, I want to drink." Okay, let there be water. Grandma ticks the seller on a 2-liter bottle of fanta, the seller gives her it. Here the grandmother opens her huge bag, in which I see a bunch of food: some bulks, cheeses, sausages, vegetables. He throws milk and fanta into the bag and silently evaporates, not even saying thank you, leaving us with the seller in mild confusion.



Judging by the packed food bag, I wasn’t the only one who regretted the “unhappy” grandmother.

In the supermarket, the cashier quickly broke through all the few products I put on the tape from the basket. Somehow it depends. I looked at the board, and there the total price of the check was 59 thousand.

Figasebe went for bread.

She looked closely at the table of purchases.

And it turned out that I just bought 792 kilograms of bananas. When she scored the weight, she forgot to put the necklace in front of her.

A girl came to us for an interview. He said, “I have nothing to do with the dog.” Well, as if ok, for 10 minutes, the boss talked to her, invited her to the next day for training.

And she came. with the dog.

At my notice that we don’t work with dogs and it would be better to leave her at home, she was wildly upset, shouting, “I, should I leave her at home? She will be sad! Do you want her to die?” She left, knocking the door.

When the boss came and asked where the new one was, I told him and he didn’t believe it.

Strange and short.

We live in a private house. 8 in the morning, I wake up from the phone call, a girl calls, then a dialogue, where I - I, D - Girl :

(D) - Glory, I am here in the parking lot a strange car scratched, the owner is not, what to do?

(I) - Well, climb on the wheels or leave a note, not to go to GAI for scratches

Okay, but where is the bumper?

0 0 0 What type of buffer?

(D) Well our bumper

Put it in the luggage.

What about his bumper? No need, the owner has come, I will call back.

As a result, minus 2 bumper and dull procedures in GAI

Do not neglect the mirrors.

I agreed to meet a friend at school. I came 20 minutes earlier, I see 2 guys aged 6-7 getting bored. Two mothers run out and begin to discuss who started the fight, and the incidence of passions grows quietly. At this time, the mothers who hit the children have already hit the whole, and the boys have found some bottle and are already quietly running together and chasing it to football. It all ended up with the fact that the children obviously already reconciled, and the mothers broke their voices in screaming against each other.

Recently a friend told a funny story - he works with natural stone (marble, granite, travertine, onyx, semi-precious) his company is engaged in the production of products from this stone (tile, panel, windows, steps, fireplaces, etc.).



In general, he sits somehow in the pavilion at the exhibition - comes a lady of 35 years all hanged with gold, in the hand iPhone 6s+ etc. She ordered a fireplace made of Italian onyx (in total, about 2 lam) and 40 square tiles of 600x300 from Brazilian blue marble (17 tir per m2 slabe). The sum resulted in all about 4.5 million together with delivery and installation (chamines + tiles).



In general, she paid for everything, the products were manufactured - they are going to install (a friend is going as a senior - to control what they would not have spent and well to lead).



While I was saying I thought they would come to an elite house now, well, or at least business class - there is an elegant elite apartment, expensive cars in the yard - generally like a museum.



The result: they come to the usual five-story building without an elevator 70 years of construction in Yuvao. They dragged the material into the apartment on the 5th floor by the stairs.



The elite apartment turned out to be an ordinary twin of 40 square meters in a terrible condition, which together with the furniture stands like a fireplace and tiles in this lady. But what is not our business - our business as a friend said to do the work and remove it.



And everything would not be so interesting if there was not one fun fact - the hostess in the conversation whispered that she recently lost her inheritance from her grandmother in the form of a trio in the center which she sold because she can not live in a grandmother's apartment - with a black aura. And then she decided to finally do the repair at home, or it would be time, in front of the neighbors ashamed. Now the car is choosing for the remainder of money - asked which is better Mazda, Ford, Mercedes or Infiniti...

I want to live when I have something to die for.

The case of Mykonos.
I recently went to the bathroom where I am constantly serviced. The owners of the service are respectable people from Armenia, and the washers are young men from the Armenian depths. In the only box washed a small Opel. His hostess, a young girl with a girlfriend, waited watching the process at the open door. The day was sunny and warm, the girls were dressed easily, in thin silk dresses. From the dark depths of the box, the picture was fairy, just a finding for the photographer. Two slim, almost naked bodies in the control light. The sunlight enlightened the transparent fabric, and the wind touched the bottom of the short dresses. The washers obviously did not rush to stretch the process of contemplation as much as possible. The girls were thinking about their girlfriend. They had a puzzle – they either did not suspect how they looked from the outside, or the process of deception was pleasing to them. The idyllia was destroyed by the entering master of the wash, with a loud voice, in Armenian began to speak to the washers for the formation of the line. Then he moved on to a gentle tone addressing the girls: – Listen, girl! Go, sit on the bench at the corner. They will never wash your car.

I think Russia should not elect a new State Duma in 2016. We have to be alone a little while, to live for ourselves.

Yesterday, a friend with a terrible secret told me one thing. Today, going through the departments, I "secretly" told three different versions, which have nothing in common with the secret, and in very different versions. I wonder who will be cursed. In the end: in the evening, I was told everything in detail, with details, and how it really was.
Fuck, how do you do it?

I can regard myself as a sociopath as much as I want and live according to the principle of "everyone only for himself." I can not trust people. I can convince myself as much as I want that it is easier for a lonely person who relies on himself to live. I can enjoy a vacation without crowds and quietly go to interesting concerts, movies and performances without company.
And then I read the descriptions and rules of interesting board games and I regret not having friends.

We invented a phone without wires!
How will it work if there is no electricity? He needs towers every 20 km. It will not take off! What if all the towers exploded by terrorists?

We invented a cart without a horse.
What if the gasoline is running out? The horse can shake the grass. What if it breaks? Horses are rarely sick. What if all the gasoline exploded?

We came up with how to transfer data from one computer to another!
What if the computer is not connected to the network? No computer is currently connected to the network. What if the network exploded? Will the electricity end?

I close my gazelle and check, afraid to leave it open. It is rough, but a little bit. Why I check - I am afraid they will come down, there is nothing to argue there, but they can fool. Comrade, the gasoline cargo tent, got into the body and shouted, but what half-cultural people - shouted on the cardboard.

Lina is admin. disassembled the printer, connected, installed... printed!
Denis: Something you’re becoming more and more like the Chip of Chip 'n' Dale.
Lina: Oh, and on a horse from the song of Nike Borzov.

Wut: – What you are with your water disconnections... You need to apply positive thinking. Just in remote areas of the health week - hardening, and in the pathos and fashionable areas - ice bucket challenge.

Going to Hockey...

Theme: Yobt
This is such a borst.
Only in the pants.

The samurai ate the borch.
Kimono of red color
Tagged: Yobt

The Chernobyl alienation zone is becoming less and less dangerous. This is evidenced by the fact that wild cockroaches, wolves and even rivers began to return there.

YYYYYYYYYYYYY All of this is one animal.

The Untold Dragons:

Few people know that the creature that in the film "The Hobbit" is called a dragon is actually a whirlwind.
Well, Kembertbach had only enough wings in his hands. I will explain: the whirlpool has only one, the rear pair of limbs, and instead of the front - cross wings.

Viverna, in addition to having only 2 pairs of limbs, is distinguished by a snake neck, a long tail with a tail, in some conceptions a smaller ( Snake) peel (or even smoother skin), a lack of intelligence and is a poisonous, not a fire-blowing creature. In addition, it is believed that the spirits are much smaller, and are lower dragon-like. And yes, they do not love gold, but fresh and not very meat.
So the fire-breathing, quite intelligent Smog with unbreakable scaly and titanic dimensions and age, it is more likely to be a dragon, even without front legs.

by 111
Salad for magnets
What is the size? 2 of Din?
by 222
No is
1 Din
Rally can be
If you want, let’s make it tonight.
by 111
We have a pen from the ass.
by 222
Eeee
Do not summarize
by 111
well
You have a pen from your ass.
I have a pen from my ass.
So is better?
by 222
Yes Yes

The Maritime Customs. Early morning. The port is asleep, the controllers are asleep, the ships are asleep on the railroad, and the customs are asleep in half-eye. And suddenly, the idyll is disturbed by the voice on the ration (the ration of all services is set to the same wave):
Radio 8 (dispatcher), radio 8, answer “Gus-Kristall” (name of the vessel).
The controller is silent. The ship requested contact several times. And here is an unrecognized sleeping voice on the same channel:
You’re not a crystal goose, you’re a fucking scapegoat.
A minute of silence, then the question:
Who is talking?! to
Another sleeping voice:
Everyone is saying...