bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82845
 13.06.2013
Go to the store, buy a cat to eat and vice versa.
What is “inverse”?
The cat toilet.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82844
 13.06.2013
Oh, Sorrie, she did not answer. I just ate.
A week of fucking!!? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82843
 13.06.2013
My wife, if she says “yet...yet” so only when I’m my dishes...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82842
 13.06.2013
I dreamed of a dream that I was asked a homework at school. And here to dream of me, I go to the classmate about this homework, and she "then and then" and all about the farm, then water the flowers, then wash the dishes. So in 11 years of school, 5 universe, I have not worried so much about doing homework as in that dream.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82841
 13.06.2013
2 hours of night. Damn to. I try to fall asleep, opening all the windows. Underneath the window, some spiders begin to scream against each other. I lie down and think, what kind of shit? Mention what to call? I go to the balcony. I get in. There are two menta beans, and the crews suck each other in forks. Closed the balcony and windows, continued deprivation of sleep.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82840
 13.06.2013

A married man has only one option to keep his last word: to say to his wife, “You are right.”
DD: I do that most often :)
Alexa: Therefore in our family your word is always the last and decisive.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82839
 13.06.2013
The title of the article "Roskomnadzor found pornography in Hentai films".

So what, right?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82838
 13.06.2013
XXX is a feeling.
XXX: When you put someone else’s job on someone who has to do it

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82837
 13.06.2013
here here :
"But shit is really ugly!

It feels awkward!"

First, what did you get from? It happens to be very face-to-face when it fits harmoniously under the structure. And people’s hands, you know, are sharpened under different tactile sensations.

Secondly, you should not be thin or fat. It is worth being healthy! Excessive fullness, as well as excessive health, was never added to anyone. The fat cow is not yet a gazelle, and the structure of people is different. Someone is comfortable at 55kg, someone at 90. The main thing is that there is no feeling of weight.
However, the rules of healthy eating and good taste add both health and charm to everyone, without exception. This is what is useful to remember.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82836
 13.06.2013
"Listen, how can you portray Stalin so that he doesn't look like such a bloody scourge as he is constantly being made?
- Say that in the smoking-free time he raised a pony. Pony always works.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82835
 13.06.2013
A brigade of harsh Chelyabinsk installers (and related specialists) worked on one facility, where the course of work was controlled by the Germans. Foreigners did not speak Russian, all through an interpreter. They disassemble one unit, collect - there are "surplus" spare parts, yet everything works. The Germans didn't like it - one comes along with the translator and says - well, why are the extra ones left? Well, they stayed and stayed, the men answered nothing terrible... the German is not reassured - well, you probably changed them for the right ones, and these must have gone away with their resources, they must be thrown out! You know what, the men are surprised, will be useful, the stock of pockets does not pull... the translator translates, the German apparently did not understand the phrase... how does it ask? The men revived - well, translate "excess hyy in the ass is not an obstacle!" the translator translated -)))) the German rounded his eyes, grabbed his head and fled with the screams of o-ey-ey -)))))) and most importantly - no more questions were asked afterwards -)

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82834
 13.06.2013
lj-user grossfater_m:
I get SMS: "Ivan Grigoryevich M. translated you 1300 rubles with a comment "Happy Independence Day!""
I’m afraid to imagine how I contributed to the independence of the Russian Federation – and why they pay so little for it.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82833
 13.06.2013
The fucking. Sometimes I forget that she is a girl. Then she begins to brake again.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82832
 13.06.2013
In my opinion, to show on the Day of Russia, on the TV channel "Russia" film "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" - a thin trolling.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82831
 13.06.2013
From the pirate server forum WOW:
Theme "Mastery Places"
xxx: Untouchable Places of Our Game World (and Screens)
The female vagina. The most mysterious place for the main contingent of World of Warcraft

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82830
 13.06.2013
When I was drunk with the German language,

In German there is such a word "Nachher" translated it as "Then", but read "Nachher". I don’t know if this is just a coincidence.)

With respect @Borman

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №82829
 13.06.2013
Elizabeth Grishchenko
When I die, I want to be buried with a fire extinguisher. Hell and all things...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82828
 13.06.2013
In Russia, people are divided into two categories: those who can steal and those who cannot steal. And belonging to the second list is determined by people from the first.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №82827
 13.06.2013
The development of combat robots in India.

The comments:
Recognition systems are affected.
What they suffer there. If he does not sing or dance, he is an enemy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82826
 13.06.2013
I walk past my wife’s computer and notice an open folder with all the notes.
Among other things, the content pleased:
- "Lene chocolate cake with cookies.txt"
- "Chocolate and Banana Cake.txt"
- "How to remove fat from the bottom of life.txt"

Now I’m walking and she looks like DiCaprio :)

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