bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98133
 19.05.2014
>I have always wondered: "Does sisadmin, after sexual intercourse, wait for a safe removal of the device?"<

I - wait)) my girlfriend always does herself in half a minute disconnect))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98132
 19.05.2014
Russian TV singed to North Korea: “This country is very close to us... The authorities are taking care of the population in every way.” Good luck with North Korea ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98131
 19.05.2014
xxx: Evaluate the joke: "I’ve listed 800 reasons why I’m not bored here".
by mad_biker: -
Mad_biker: 800 is not funny. The number must be accurate (not round)
mad_biker: type "731 reason why I am not bored"
I’m at the table ?
mad_biker: I am not bored - (((

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98130
 19.05.2014
Engineers from the University of Zurich want to equip ATMs with devices that spray hot foam. Specialists borrowed this method of defense from a bombardment bug, which, when attacked by enemies, sprayes virtually boiling acid. Hemp "stores" two components of the mixture - hydrogen peroxide and hydroquinone - in two parts of the abdomen. Shooting, substances are mixed and heated to boil."
New Entertainment for Hackers

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98129
 19.05.2014
Ordinary Russian town. I am in the vegetable department. I read prices: tomatoes imported (The Netherlands), tomatoes imported (China). Imported tomatoes (Moscow)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98128
 19.05.2014
The planet is okay, it’s people shit(s). How do you get rid of the shit in the first five comments under the picture of a cat?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №98127
 19.05.2014
Quote from chat:
I have a cat – it’s Ukraine... it can’t be it itself, but it only eats and demands... and it’s proud, foolish, it’s walking... it’s unsalted...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №98126
 19.05.2014
Comments to a photo of a drunk painted black-haired girl lying face down on concrete stairs:

Pope: Pope didn’t help her! in his hands would
yyy: It can not be worn anywhere, and it is so comfortable.
Zzz: you have to raise your head for the hair first, to see if you can finish.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98125
 19.05.2014
Scientists from Wales have proven that only 981 cigarettes smoked one after another are enough to enter a narcoleptic coma.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98124
 19.05.2014
xxx: In the morning of "Sport-FM" Nikolai Valuev interviewed the world champion in fast chess Sergey Karyakin.
The interview began with the question: "Sergey, tell me what chess is!"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №98123
 19.05.2014
You react so calmly to everything! What is your secret?
Yyy: I don’t care.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №98122
 19.05.2014
And yes, has anyone seen that, for example, Mercury stretched his winged sandals on socks? and :)
— — —
I, in fact, and Mercury have not met in my life, and I wear sandals with socks and whisper who thinks.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98121
 19.05.2014
I will answer:

Please help me in a small matter:
Unknown neighbors stumbled, who rolled their garbage bags at the entrance of the mountain (there is no way to get them out). So, how would they be able to formulate their message more flammably, right? To get into a thoughtful ganglion?

Write to them on behalf of the carpenter that he kindly brought their garbage to the laundry, and now they owe him 200 rubles for it. You can agree on the disposal of garbage on a regular basis, the carpenter will try to cross with them to get the debt and talk about further cooperation.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №98120
 19.05.2014
If your husband comes and says, ‘Let’s move!’ and ‘Let’s go,’ you’re picking up a suitcase. If your husband comes and says, “Let’s take the world,” you’re holding the ladder. If your man comes and says, “Let’s shoot the neighbors,” you’re giving ammunition. Therefore, when your man comes and says, “Let’s play together!” and “Let’s play together,” you’re rolling the line.

[ + 41 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98119
 19.05.2014
Civil marriage is when a woman considers herself married and a man considers himself unmarried.

[ + 104 - ] Comment quote №98118
 19.05.2014
I watched with the children “Old men go to battle” and remembered.

In our kindergarten worked cook Antonina Vasilyevna. She was fifty years old or older, and I didn’t know much at the time. Of all the workers of the kindergarten dining room, I remembered only her - Antonina Vasilyevna could always get a supplement, running for a glass of compot or a bowl of gray even during a walk. The other change did not allow anything like this and, as a rule, pushed us away.

One day, when I got an extraordinary portion of cocoa, I noticed that the eyes of the cook, as my mother said, were on a wet spot. Then I didn’t give that importance and quickly forgot. But a couple of days later, rushing to the kitchen for a snack, I saw Antonina wiping her eyes with the edge of a towel.

I asked my mother, who worked in the same garden as an educator, why Antonina Vasilyevna was crying all the time. My mother told me that when the war began, Antonina, who just finished school, volunteered for the front. She served in the dining room of the aviation regiment. With this regiment she almost went to Berlin. Once, one of the pilots, a young lieutenant, who had recently arrived from school, ran to her kitchen and asked for cocoa. The time was rough, everything prepared for lunch was drunk and eaten, and dinner was just beginning to cook. In principle, cooking cacao was a matter of a couple of minutes, but Tonia was not the spirit that day and the lieutenant refused. Come in, she said, tonight. He did not come in tonight. As she later learned, the lieutenant was killed while performing a combat task - his fighter was shot down by the Nazis.

Twenty-five years have passed since then, and there has not been a single day when Antonina Vasilyevna did not think that if she poured that unfortunate glass of cocoa, everything could have turned out differently - and the battle would have gone differently, and the lieutenant would not have died. That’s why she never refuses any of the children in the supplement. She just cries often.

When I was six years old, this story shocked me.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №98117
 19.05.2014
Thanks to Eurovision! Now I can’t keep my smile when I meet the young Caucasians.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №98116
 19.05.2014
to this:
Yes, fuck them with sandals, the main thing to remember is that shells are only worn on the beach, in the bath or in the pool!

I will add:
And well worn shells emit shale gas!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98115
 19.05.2014
I work as a cashier in a clothing store. There is, you understand, a certain set of standard phrases that are spoken to customers in different situations. So, if someone managed to leave the purchased things in the hands of the cashier, I scream after something from the series: "Young man, you left the package!"
Yesterday, this happened, but the tongue, you understand, plunged, so I managed to give it to the whole box: "Young package, you left a man!"
I haven't seen it for a long time XD

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98114
 19.05.2014
The question from a lonely young man who knows how to wrap a ring: and why 8in1? If it is not decorative, it will be too heavy and impractical. The 4 in 1 collar that you can take with you to the racing weighs ~10 kg, depending on the length of the sleeves and the length of the slope (I am a wrestler, so if anyone claims that there is no point in the games of the collar, I will answer immediately: for beauty and entourage, I do not participate in close combat ideally). The 6in1 armor can quite well go for the armor of the infantry, while virtually without compromising mobility. I don’t see any benefits in 8v1. There, one ring will weigh almost as much as a full armor of my comrades.

It depends on the ratio of thickness and inner diameter of the ring - it can be 6 in 1 small.
Although 8in1 is a overdrive, obviously the lady wants to splash herself Kira :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna