bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138251
 27.01.2017
My aunt and a cousin in the distant yet rebuilding times on Sunday turned on the TV and saw an American movie, where everyone is discussing who killed some Channing. They thought, detective, you understand, so you have to sit down and see what’s going on. Here the film unexpectedly quickly ended, and Channing's murderer was never found. Aunt and sister were surprised, but thought that the film could be a two-series and can be watched tomorrow. The movie was titled "Santa Barbara"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138250
 27.01.2017
11 to 45 Catherine:
Hi you Julia! Congratulations on your birthday! We are pleased to inform you that our community has held a joke and you have won! Write me a phone you are comfortable with calling.
17-04 by Catherine
by Julia?
17 to 30 July
Yes is?
17 to 31 Catherine
Are you ready to contact us?
17 to 32 Julia
No is. I thought it was obvious. We are unknown. You are not interesting to me.
17 to 32 Catherine
And the gift?
17 to 33 Yulia
Dear Catherine! I am 39 years old today. This is quite enough to know: offers from strangers hello-you-winned gift - divorce. All of. without exception. Strangely, it seemed to me that a dialogue marked as spam would no longer bother me.
17 to 34 Catherine
Go to Fuck.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138249
 27.01.2017
Alcoholics are foolish.
representatives of the race.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138248
 27.01.2017
In a modern city, the population density is such that no matter where you live, what you do, whoever you work, you always interfere with someone.
= is
and Nihua. Must be minimized. There are simple rules.
Are you walking on the left side of the sidewalk against the stream? Sooner or later you will get a shoulder. Right movement in us.
Do you stretch your legs through something? Sooner or later they will be right.
Do you like to stop fast on the move? Someday there will be a two-foot two-hundred-pound uncle behind him, who will not have time.
Do you like to smoke people? One day the uncle will be there.

It’s crazy, it’s not treated. It is stopped by purely physical means.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138247
 27.01.2017
The Wife:
Remember in the movie “Ordinary Miracle” the Wizard said: “Poor unarmed people drop kings from the throne because of love for their neighbors. Because of the love of the motherland, the soldiers strike death with their feet, and he runs away without looking. The wise go up to heaven and go to hell because of the love of truth. What did you do because of love for a girl?” and what did you do because of love for me?
The husband:
I did not marry you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138246
 27.01.2017
What kind of sexual education can be discussed if a mid-aged aunt (never married and no children) declares that all the troubles in Russia came from condoms
and birth rate from them dropped (not from the standard of living, which dropped sharply in the 1990s)

And the youth they corrupted and they began to have sex, and before it was only for the birth of children (on the number of abortions in the time, they persistently remain silent).

PS has been and will be at all times.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138245
 27.01.2017
In fact, the “Dream of the hostess” is a young, sexy, generous lover-oligarch, not a mayonnaise.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138244
 27.01.2017
The CopyLob

>>>A very prominent example: dwarf copt and stretched predators.<<

In the presence of stretched predators, the puppy quickly acquires a sports figure or does not survive. They become rhinos.
They become dumb when they live a quiet life.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138243
 27.01.2017
...and we have a new system administrator by the name Krivorak
Why do I think it will not lead to anything good? ;)

[ + 26 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138242
 27.01.2017
Oh all that. How you burned.
A long time ago, when the forests on the planet Earth began to shrink, our monkey ancestors had to get out of the cage to the plain. At first they had to stand on two limbs to rise above the high edge of the grass. Then, as the fruit abundance left with the forests, we had to look for additional food. I sit high on two legs, I look far, I see everything. Especially the fall. What is not food? Our ancestors were fallers. From this injection of protein into the body, the brain began to gradually increase in size, and human-like - to become smarter. Thus, by introducing to their diets thick, unpretentious meat, our evolutionary branch proudly entered the gate of homo (but some remained behind, thickly chewing the leaf of the rucola, and the Buddha with them).
Sponsor of the story is anthropogenesis. Thanks to all. We are separated.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138241
 27.01.2017
The first ninjas were parents stealing past a sleeping child.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138240
 27.01.2017
Oh, let’s remember, brothers, and wipe away tears – Ellie, Electronic and Emmanuel

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138239
 27.01.2017
by Emina

Pharaoh Achnaton looks at you from underneath the pyramid with compassion and a bit high.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138238
 27.01.2017
As I walk by, I calmly look at the bow.

They are fools, they don’t know what they can do.
Of course, if you "pass by" it’s a couple of seconds.
And if you look for five minutes, you will get a retinal burn and then your eyes will hurt for a week. This is if you are lucky not to get irreversible consequences.

And the mask. And not because someone "does not tolerate"bright light.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138237
 27.01.2017
History of a child with eye flies: was the ophthalmologist unaware of such a thing as the destruction of the glass body, when a person sees floating fibers, and also, sometimes, flashes? Well, the ophthalmologist is so... And this destruction is ugliness, it works on the nerves at times, and is incurable, unfortunately.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138236
 27.01.2017
My husband cooked soup. I eat it and praise it. I cooked myself. by own desire. This should be encouraged.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138235
 27.01.2017
Amy what? Stupid detective

Do as it is written, and you will not be an educated man, but an intelligent, whom it is not a sin to abandon. self-affirmation at the expense of others.

Logic is cool: to let someone down because he cares about the well-being of others? I do as written. Is it bad? Apparently you need to smell you fuck, shake on the phone on a loud communication with a mat/no mat ratio = 95%/5%, and fuck your feet in the subway. Let no one give God to think that I am a ‘intelligent’ man.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138234
 27.01.2017
The Unreal Wizard

That is why the mask. And not because someone "does not tolerate"bright light.=

Yes not. They wear a mask for anonymity. Here passes by a passenger, looks at the bow - and immediately rabbits get caught up. And then he wants to give those rabbits back to the welder - and he is fed? You have to wear a mask so that you don’t know.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138233
 27.01.2017
Only in our country can simultaneously increase life expectancy, mortality and retirement age.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №138232
 27.01.2017
When Nyusha that she had enrolled in self-defense courses, I thought she had an ehe, a whispering tea. For girls of such beauty and weightlessness, the only way to defend themselves at night is to honestly surrender to any passing hooligan.

True fighting teaches kindness. Not to wreak the wrongdoer. Several years of training from early childhood, modified bone nanostructure for pucha power impact. The chest of the bricks is one mouth in half. And Nush chose short-term economic courses. And very soon there appeared a somewhat aggressive internal force. A slight confidence in yourself. Falling into a sect? I began to fear her. If you grasp that is not the case, it will screw something good into the air and with its lovely foot blam right into the nose.

However, according to her stories, the courses seemed practical. There more learned to look around and run away. "If you found yourself in the underground crossing at night alone with a gang of copters, then you made the mistake a little earlier." And the cherry blade to this winegret - techniques prohibited by the rules of any battles without rules. Any type of duck after many years in the hall can somewhat balance a meticulous blow to the eggs. The girls have an unconditional bonus. What about eggs? “Interference is superfluous in almost every battle.”

I was roaring, and it soon happened to her. Which he met in full arms.

After leaving the subway in the late afternoon, she recalled that she had never moved the keys from the apartment from the outer side pocket into the inner pocket, as the new Doctrine told her. I checked, there were no keys!!! Inside the house too!! The door is such that it can be carried out. Repair of the entire entrance. There are spare keys. They are in a box inside the apartment. From the seat! Where to sleep?

Economic courses are included. I immediately calculated when I felt the keys in my pocket for the last time. Just before entering the metro. It was pulled out a few minutes ago. Right in the metro. But what's the point of stolen keys if you don't know the apartment? So the thief will try to track the victim’s path to the home. Simple logic, and thanks to her, Nuesha realized that now behind her back is the ON who stole her keys and hopes to rob her apartment. Listening to the top-top in the distance. Around no one. Do not look! turned into the store. I noticed, yes, there was a guy in the back. I remembered the signs, choosing a bottle of cognac for a long time. The accidental passenger will probably sit away during this time. He came out, on a decent distance. He moves and waits. Back and back again top. and horror. The worst thing is if he attacks from behind. I turned and went to meet the guy. Mission impossible – not only to take away, but also to take away your keys from him. How! → It’s easy if you attend a course.

Blindly smiled. The enemy is like a coward. He stopped and knocked his eyes. Another smile - and a bag with a bottle of cognac is flying him up. I dropped, of course. It was a distracting maneuver. How they taught. The main blow went unnoticed - the shoe is clear where. She rushed to the pockets of the crumbling smelly body, grabbed the keyband, and then heard a scream - Sanya! What did this shit do to you? In the mgl was painted the No. 2.

This was not part of the self-defense scenario. Nush was confused, but: instantly dropped the shoes on the high heels (the case last fall was), economically picked up both shoes and began to craftfully loop the folds of the terrain. In the back there was a whistle in four legs, silent, and it was quite silly. Running in, she noticed behind the next turn the shelter and threw the shoe forward. Both passed by.

The keys taken from the man did not come. She found it later in her bag. He still doesn’t know when and how they got there. For a week, I went out at the neighboring subway station and did not go to the store where I bought cognac. And when she came in, the saleswoman simply said, “The peanut has been found! Here is your shoe and a note!

The note was that the guy really liked the girl in the subway, and he just followed her. I was determined to meet. A friend asked to stay behind, so as not to interfere with the romance of the first meeting. He also asks her to return her keys in exchange for her shoes :)

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