bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14475
 13.02.2009
and Tiffy:
I slept with these little ones.

and Tiffy:
I’ve been in my ass all night.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №14474
 13.02.2009
jiyuu: it’s a pipe, we guys are either already busy or full of loops :'(
Hex: Ol, I’m free at all, if I...
Jiyuu: See also above

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №14473
 13.02.2009
My husband and I always have trouble going to the pharmacy.
- Hello, you can pack a pack of condoms and a pad (for a grandmother who can't get to the toilet by herself).

or

Can I get 4 packs of bandages and condoms?

or

- Good night, can I have ice caine (anesthetic), 2 syringes and a pack of condoms?

I feel that soon in the pharmacy we will be considered maniacs.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №14472
 13.02.2009
Yai_feia (11:54:52 11/02/2009)
All of the office is rugged!!! to
We got electricity that came from China with batteries, so there on each box is written: "Dahua battery"

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №14471
 13.02.2009
Fuck, we’re all day...I come home, I want to rest and read funny quotes, not morally instructive and fucking everything!They fall!
Talk about life in the kitchen.

I know nobody plays...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №14470
 13.02.2009
Zhenya from Peter (in the car) who bought a Nokia e71 from me on February 10 - I forgot to put a charger in the set. Call me, I don’t have your number. and married. (Take a look at the "Best"

[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14469
 13.02.2009
Dear citizens of my heart, Russians, Slavs! in advance, I sincerely apologize that the quote is not funny, but this is the most massive smith in the runnet!(responses of myself, I got drunk and fucked 20 bodies are not accepted), and really proud?because looking at society I am surprised, fellowship and cohesion.like wolves for a piece of meat...this is our country,our,where we live,I don't know how you,but I don't want to give it to scratch!young people build ideals with club addicts and drunk fun weekends,every year,more dumb and dumb,and ideals,drunk,dumb,to tell how you hit the instance or over somebody dumbed!we build ourselves and break the ideals and relationships,I was witnessing,as in the hospital man,when the doctors went badly to help people 40 minutes, I walked quietly,so masculine, and I...the

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14468
 13.02.2009
I go to nightclubs for 7 years - no one has offered me methamphetamine there.

The born will not fly.
When you go to clubs, do not forget to take off the police shirt.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14467
 13.02.2009
Viskla: At the universe today was the Aztec lot. Concert on Valentine’s Day.
The rector sits... all the dean sits... the predecessors and so on.
There is a small competition between performances. 4 spectators, divided into two teams.
The task: to name as many famous romantic couples as possible - symbols of eternal love.
They are called and called. "Kate and Leo, Tristan and Isolde.....and td".
In one couple is a real blonde (by IQ level)... stands silent... suddenly in her eyes appears a spark of enlightenment and she breaks out the microphone of the partner to the whole hall stating: Ivan Tsarevich and the Grey Wolf - a dumb second two silences and everyone starts to slip under the chairs - she sees that the thing is not in order and running - And with them Elena Beautiful.
Viskla: Here the fantasy included all =)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14466
 13.02.2009
A real story... a case on a pair of military training.
Prep: in the event of a nuclear explosion, you need to lie with your feet in its side, so that you can see where the eggs will fly.
Student: Yeah, it’s better to look at the explosion, but it’s the last time.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14465
 13.02.2009
The Rambler:
Residents of the Tomsk suburb decided to rename the street of Oslaby

Why?!!! to

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14464
 13.02.2009
At the general meeting today, one of the leaders burned.
I recently heard the phrase: “90% of the company’s employees are dissatisfied with the situation.”
As a person, I would very much like to see someone out of the remaining 10 percent. Look at his happy face and ask what he is happy about.
c) Diggerzz

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14463
 13.02.2009
The real loser is when you passed the whole session except for one subject, and on the last possible day of its transfer, you get stuck with the body, late for half an hour, you have not even prepared, and you are somehow put out perfectly, and you rejoice to the whole audience: "Ahuet!", and you are deducted for immoral behavior during the exam... :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №14462
 13.02.2009
"Time is money" Money is temporary.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №14461
 13.02.2009
http://skds.livejournal.com/2792.html



In the twilight nineties, I lived in a multi-storey bedroom neighborhood near the

of Moscow.

This house was built on the site of the former village. Residents of villages

The houses naturally moved here.

Separated from the land, the peasants shortened time by habit, on the "square"

A bench before entering. Drink, not so much, rather by habit

Until the state of joyfulness.

I had a normal relationship with this company. Drinking of course.

I did not drink with them. But he often gave small money to the dumb and simple.

Sereshka rushed again, - gently told me after I was business.

He ran from entering the employers. Do not recycle, do not recycle.

He would sit with us. I would drink a cup of water".



After a while, an oligarch appeared among my employers. of those,

He is currently in international search. And before that, he was in the

Everything was checked, checked, checked. One changes the other. and

The same hour requires a check. I just print - calls: "I am now

I will come and get it". I have to say goodbye, he is not lazy. Alone in our

"The Village"

How do the oligarchs move? is right!

With flashes, accompanied by two black jeeps, black armored

Mercedes did not rush into our courtyard. People came out in black costumes.

The glasses. The Race. Folded pockets.

I ran out with papers. Sitting on the back seat. closed behind me.

The door.

On the "Traveling" - a grave silence.

Five minutes later I came out of the car. Take the guard side by side.

A short drive out of the area and hid behind the entrance door.



The next day, sober, in probably his best costume.

At my door, the head of the village was ringing.

“Hello,” he talks to me for some reason, “we were here for you.

must" - stretches me a pack of money, times three of their total

The Debt.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №14460
 13.02.2009
The night. Wife shakes her husband.

That demand:

You have gone crazy! At three o’clock at night, what happened?

Singing, my head has gone by.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14459
 13.02.2009
and X-ray_777
When did you have such a thread? A folder weighing 20 GB disappeared...in which were all
all the photos of my life... video, music... files with all the passwords... documents, and
Most importantly...the video where the first sex was recorded... everything disappeared!!!!!!!The search
I don’t look for it... in the basket there isn’t...here is it...and to fix it isn’t how
I can’t... I’m just going to die!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I just died (I just died)
How are you doing?

square
*watching 1st sex" affar...and hiccuts disgustingly

square
Why did you see it alone?? to


[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №14458
 13.02.2009
A friend told me about the neighbors. A pure joke!
The neighbor’s husband went out for a walk with the dog at night. He hung himself a quick guide on his neck, as it goes, and moved. There is no him and no... A couple of hours later, a crazy sweaty husband flies into the house that, say, the dogs escaped and pro-A-al!!! He ran around the area, called, sought – not found!!! You have to do something! — cry the loving soul! When the wife finally put the word in, she said, “Idiot!” She said, “You have forgotten the dog at home!”! to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14457
 13.02.2009
Murphy’s Law for Bach:

The dumber the quote, the greater the chance that it will be on every page of the Abyss.
2nd The chance to see your quote is aimed at zero. The chance increases dramatically if you realize that this was not necessary to send.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №14456
 13.02.2009
Mary is
I had a cat playing with a coil of silk threads... almost suffocating herself.

Wild Cat
he he.
My cat at 2 o’clock at night played with a plastic bottle of vitamins. There were three other vitamins inside. He barely suffocated.

With my hands!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna