Eight in the square. I will be standing next to Lenin.
How do I know where you are and where he is?
I will be in a maid with the British flag.

A humble man is more humble than a humble man.

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What was first, the chicken or the egg?

A strict philosophical provider.

Credit is when the bank robs you and you pay it.

I absolutely believe in the authenticity of this story, because her participant laughed at fresh tracks, as they do not laugh at an anecdote.

The sales department of a large Russian airline received a request whether it is possible to carry a manual chinchilla in the cabin. The request fell to a new employee, who later turned out to be a rare oak in the process of work.
This employee at the time of entry to work received strict instructions on an individual approach to regular clients. The lady with a chinchilla was just such a client and was – on the far-reaching approach to buying her own plane, with the spiritual needs corresponding to her VIP status. These details, however, were unknown to the new employee – he just broke through the base that she often flies their planes and always business class. In addition, he recalled school impressions from the zoo that the chinchilla is a harmless furry beast. She also promised to catch the cage.
In general, the guy turned to the advice of a more experienced employee, who on the run broke, joked and disappeared. The lady with the chinchilla immediately received an official response: “Deep respected...! In response to your request, we inform you that you have the right to carry with you in the business class cabin of our airline any amount of shinshill, but only in the form of a shirt.

To accept a man as he is, can only the army.

Samsung has demanded Apple to show the iPhone 5 and iPad 3 A corresponding claim on behalf of Samsung has been filed in a district court in San Jose, California. In it, the South Korean company insists on handing over to it until June 13 series samples of devices known as “iPhone 5” or “iPhone 4S” and “iPad 3” or “iPad third generation”, as well as their packaging.
Samsung needs to examine the samples of new iPhones and iPads to make sure that its devices are not copying into one or another Apple device, the statement said.
Earlier, Apple filed a similar claim against Samsung devices. The company asked Steve Jobs to provide her for the presentation of the smartphones Galaxy S II, Infuse 4G and Droid Charge, as well as the tablets Galaxy Tab 8.9 and Galaxy Tab 10.1
Chelyabinsk Microchip Defense Factory has filed a lawsuit requiring them to show the iPhone 5, iPhone 4S, iPad 3, Galaxy S II, Infuse 4G and Droid Charge, as well as the tablets Galaxy Tab 8.9 and Galaxy Tab 10.1.
Everyone has seen it, but they are not.

by mr. Muscle: When will air refresher manufacturers guess the jokes on them to print?

Finochka: We have a TV hanging on the wall, 1.5 m from the floor. I thought that if the girl from the “Call” started coming out of it, she would have fallen ridiculously!

Loki is cute.
Nastya - watching video in contact, Denis plays online poker, another denis sits on a rock forum, the director - sleeps.
And in this office, I get paid for it!

In the bourgeois airport, you have to approach the crowd in the middle of the hall and shout out loudly, “Allâh, I am in the bar!”
The laughter and joy of the bourgeois around you will be your reward!! to

The cat always knows when you want to get up and falls on your knees.

I used to play in the sims when I built a house and killed people, made a healthy cemetery and then the ghosts walked there :)))

It was before I opened up for myself.

xxxx: I hear the wife in the yard with the dog talking: my little dog, my little dog, my rabbit dear... how did you sleep? Why have you eaten since morning? Has the cat eaten the cattle again?! to

Almost everyone in their friends, in the social network, has a person about whom you can say - "Fuck, who is it?and "

I am home. What should I eat?
Open the refrigerator, there is food.
I have opened. What should I eat?
Meat with potatoes in pot
I do not want
Sasha, I am at work.
Katie, I want to
What are you mocking?! to
Where is the potato meat?! to
Sasha, you are in the refrigerator!
Where is it?
Sasha, I am at work. in the gray pot, on the second shelf to the left
Oh yeah, I found it. Where is the juice?
Which one?
Katie, are you a fool? The juice!
I didn’t buy it, but you bought it.
and no. Katie, what are you?
What is?
Where is my peach juice?
In the shop.
- Well go home - buy me juice, 2 liters
Do you not squeeze?
and no. Buy me the juice... well, Katya!
and pipet. So far Sasha. I am at work.
Wait to
What else do you need from me?
I really have you crazy.
Go in the ass.
Is it true?
and yes. The Truth. Sasha, go to the ass.

xxx: Whoever put the bass recorders on the e/guitar, does it affect the sound?
YYY: Has anyone put wheels from BELAZ on a bicycle?

A resident of Bangladesh cut off the penis of a man who allegedly tried to rape her, and then brought the organ to the police as the main proof.
This is in the curry section.

At the concert:
- And now it will sound a work called "Black Es", which in translation means - black earth...

" The Black Earth??" – did we think...

My wife and I have a family balance:
Wife: Oh, you have more money on your card than I have.
I: It’s because I hardly spend, and you’re spending all your salary.
Wife: Not all of them.
I: Well two thirds.
The wife (with even greater outrage): Three!! to
I: Well, three thirds of it.