bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82065
 27.05.2013
XX: Everyone should do what he is intended to do and what he does best.
Yyy: I sleep badly, but they rarely pay for it.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №82064
 27.05.2013
In youth you want to wake up famous, in old age you just want to wake up.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82063
 27.05.2013
Theatre for them. He was on a tour in Tbilisi. Galli Dashevskaya, a Georgian student, invited her to the house where Georgian intellectuals gathered. Well, of course, toasts, healthcars - from respect for Gale, mostly in Russian. And closer to the end of the evening they argued: who of the present did more for Georgia. Some mercenary immediately established a prize for the winner: a box of the best cognac! Passions burned out ridiculously: someone was proud of his painting, someone a monument, someone a literary translation... Dashevskaya listened and listened, then got courage and stood up. “Forgive me,” she said, “but I think my family has done most of you for Georgia!” “Yes! Galia continued. “During the replay for the USSR football championship in the match “CSKA” – “Dynamo” (Tbilisi) my husband, CSKA midfielder Kolya Manoshin, scored the only goal... in his gates, and “Dynamo” (Tbilisi) became the champion of the USSR for the first time!”
Under the shouting cries in both languages to the glory of Manoshin, the prize box was immediately handed over to Gale Dashevskaya.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №82062
 27.05.2013
The picket "World Without Cosmetics", consisting of unpainted women, scared the gay parade, the OMON and the shabbas of Satanists.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82061
 27.05.2013
We had a case.
Alcoholists wrecked in the apartment on the 5th floor of the 5th floor. One of them smoked on the balcony and accidentally crashed "out of board". He fell on the club.
The runners see that he is breathing, made to feel. He opens his eyes and says, “But how fucking I’m... Give me a cigarette!”
He said, “You fell from the fifth floor. Lie down and don’t move! Call an ambulance now!"
He replied: "What are you chewing on me? What 5 floor? Someone gave me a fuck and fuck me! I talked to you all! This is a wolf! exactly! What do I do with him?" - I got up and went to the 5th floor...
No one stopped him, justly deciding that it would not be worse for him.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82060
 27.05.2013
"Hill's Indoor Cat Feeding for indoor cats living in rooms with chicken 4kg"

Is it such a food that rejects the desire to eat a four-kilogram chicken living with a cat in the same room?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82059
 27.05.2013
The title of the article: "Appendix «Zlata Ognevich - Crawling»: a crawler that really pleasures children".
One of the best comments: The Cannibal Corpse app will wake kids to school on time.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82058
 27.05.2013
Grandma without preface – and you know who my husband is!!! Especially the scream. This is obviously a sick man. The man stood, thought and said: Holy, see!
Stay away from these sick people!!! Do not come close and do not come in. At the end of the signal until the last, at the same time the attention of witnesses will be attracted. At the parking lot near the TC, one such pedestrian on the turn did not intend to give way to me, stood up and stood in the middle (by the way, there was a sidewalk for such people). I stopped. I stand looking at her. She is on me. I’m angry at"What has gone out!" Seeing has heard. Let us insult and shave, and weep with our hands. I waited until the circus ended and she left. I went. So she managed to hold her shoulder to the mirror. Right on the side glass and bed. He also moved his fist over the car. In order not to contact her, he left. He returned after an hour to find out that he was being sought. As a result of the "attack on a pedestrian with a hiding", the poor there allegedly broke the heels and the finger twisted (At the court, everything that could be against me turned out. It is specific.) Hence deprivation of rights, work, not admission to the exam in another category, etc. It is better to endure a couple of seconds once more than because of the "holy Indian animal" so cool to change your life... Good luck on the roads and in life, Lord! Be more careful.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №82057
 27.05.2013
The Author:
xxxh: I go into my entrance today, a drunkon comes in front of me (a few meters before he felt a mess), we approach the elevators, a small person comes in, I think, well, today I will get sick...and he goes to the side and invites me to go in the first, well, I went in, I turn, and he moves my hand, a type of ride!
----------------
He just didn’t want to embarrass you with his company.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82056
 27.05.2013
Alcatel phone for 520p
The shortcomings:
No player, no internet, no boiling water, no teleportation.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82055
 27.05.2013
To her friend (P) soon comes her boyfriend's mother
P: That is how I know her.
P: I like her very much.
I am: horror, make fun of me
Q: Do not clean the apartment before it arrives?
I am : AHA
I: and Hamit
P: Grow up a megaspoon
I: and to walk unclean)
I: and not cleaning the bowl after cats
I (and after myself)
Q: Drawing into a game all day and not cooking.
A: Do not wash the dishes.
P is fucking. I live so.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82054
 27.05.2013
to the milliseconds.
I personally knew a graduate of MIFI who had a dog Laba.
It is not all.
The passport name was Laboratory-work-number sixteen-effect-Mossbauer.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82053
 27.05.2013
I understand files on the computer. I came across the folder "Destinations". I open and see the inscription "This folder is empty".
I thought. :} is

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82052
 27.05.2013
and 1 cop. The debt is paid in the PFR.
This amount was demanded by the Pension Fund in a letter to Moskovich, an individual entrepreneur, Mikhail Degtyar. The entrepreneur did not contact with the delivery and found exactly 1 cop. In order to recover the debt in a penny, the Pension Fund did not regret the amount, 4000 times the amount.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82051
 26.05.2013
XXX - How did you go to your ornithologist yesterday?
Yyy to the Orthodontist.
No one has ever called me such a thin chicken.
A. and A. Emelyanov

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82050
 26.05.2013
The Bride:

I hear the cuddle... I ask – when will I get married?
I got stuck :D

...

No year will pass. Wait for me.)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №82049
 26.05.2013
Who knows the natural harmless substitute for caffeine?

YYY: The Dream

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82048
 26.05.2013
Fritz: Just far from civilization, in the midst of nature in the village, you remember what simple joys are.
Fritz: I just killed this pale fly that sat on my head all morning and prevented me from sleeping.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82047
 26.05.2013
xxx: "Microsoft patented a system of achievements for watching TV"
Acknowledgements for watching TV!!! to
That is the dream of generations.
You sit, watch the telephone all night, and in the morning the smart box tells you that this is an achievement!! to

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82046
 26.05.2013
A discussion of the analytical article on the situation in Syria where two radical Islamist groups are fighting against each other, on the one hand Al-Qaeda for the Syrian rebels, on the other Hezbollah for the Assad government.
The comments:
Stanislav Kravtsov:
It’s a rare case when you want both sides to lose.
Evgeny Babadaev:
They didn’t lose, they won and defeated the enemy completely.
Dmitry Godunov:
Yes, we wish both sides to show courage and fight to the last drop of blood.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna