bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №13306
 29.12.2008
The liquor and vodka factory Crystal warns:

Smoking, smoking and only smoking are dangerous to your health.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №13305
 29.12.2008
...as a squirrel at such a tremendous speed, flying into such a small hole of its squirrel, does not get stuck in the hole with its wings and legs, and after all, it is still necessary to slow down, so as not to fuck in the opposite wall!

And really?

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №13304
 29.12.2008
Friday night. The family rested after dinner. Everyone went into their rooms. and idylia.

Someone is looking at the house.
Someone went on a raid on Artaza, from his room you can hear the sound of the "Mill".
Someone, having put off a collection of poetry of the Serbian age, smokes a pipe, sitting in a chair with a bucket, enjoying the “Dark Side of the Moon.”

And then I realize that something is definitely wrong in our family. The first two are Mom and Dad.

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13303
 29.12.2008
Father Christmas! Please do me, and everyone who plusses this, a bag of money and three big tits!!! Happy New Year for Men!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №13302
 29.12.2008
Sasq, do you know who this is?
Sasq is a vampire who turned his blood into alcohol.
Sasq and Count Dracula was so drunk that he fell asleep where he got - then in the grave, then in a box with the earth, and wandering in the night and looking for a pit.
Sasq and his eyes in the dark are red.
Oleg is all together.
Sasq alkas cannot enter the police building on his own, he must be invited, a strong alkas can become invisible - he can lie right on the road, but no one notices him. The higher alkas can turn into animals, most often into pigs. Hehe
Sasq Dracula came with a fog, but it was just a mess of translation – he came with a fog.
Sasq and in the fur was difficult to see - because the eyes tear.
Olegas Aha in the mirror didn’t reflect because he stinked.
Sasq da mirror - the enemy of the real alkas
Oleg, but don’t look at it.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №13301
 29.12.2008
"I gave something today" – the phrase of a real student!

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13300
 29.12.2008
At the entrance to the dean is written "New Year!". It is written on separate A4 sheets.
In vain we read the same... we turned this case into the "house with the shit Y!". Waiting for machines. with shoes x

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №13299
 28.12.2008
My wife told me today. Their employee was in the hospital, with appendicitis, today came to work after discharge and told the story.
With him in the chamber was a sick man; at the time he was undergoing the operation, a crowd of staff came. Well, of course, they brought presentations - flowers, a mineral, a dozen boiled eggs, a 5-liter barrel of wine, another kind of shit. The nurse, who let them into the chamber, categorically refused to take wine. They agreed, but under the noise of the sidewashed under the bed. In general, the type was brought from the operating room, he woke up - and he "companions" immediately - you have wine under the bed, let’s jerk. He of course agreed. We drank one, one, and then he said, “Where are my eggs?” Where are the eggs?The nurse ran to the noise and calmly said, "Sick man, what are you noising about? Eggs are in the bucket". The patient in a moment lost consciousness, and only after half an hour, when he was brought to himself, it became clear: his anesthesia did not completely go away, and there was also alcohol, in general, he lost the sensitivity of some organs. The nurse meant the boiled eggs, which were presented by the employees, and she put them in a cushion.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №13298
 28.12.2008
X: Listen, she’s... taken away.
Y: Fuck me, I bought Santa’s hat and now I’m happy!
X: Do you hear? I am saying shit!!! to
I have dreamed of a hat for 3 years! Get rid of me!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №13297
 28.12.2008
Stand up, it is an abyss!
Don’t expect to be funny – it’s useless.
(Aria - "Heaven Will Find You" remake)

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №13296
 28.12.2008
The real pusty bodyart is when you really look at what is drawn and not the breasts!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №13295
 28.12.2008
C/ec@pb©
I am standing in the kitchen smoking and looking out the window, I see the branch of the berry, the cat climbs, reaches the edge of the branch, unfolds, and so begins to burn.

Slider
Esther is fucking.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №13294
 28.12.2008
You know a word of five letters in which only one is in agreement?
Would you say?
The child of the Internet...Audio...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №13293
 28.12.2008
<roman_bucking>: The people! Which programs can photoshop?? to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №13292
 28.12.2008
What if Putin’s shoes were thrown in? It would be shown on all the channels in the world! 10 to 20 times a day. and what? Imagine yourself...
Vladimir Vladimirovich surrounded by heads of state. Nothing predicts trouble... Here from a bunch of reporters pops out a crazy American with the screams "Save the Georgia" throwing a butt on the ex-president... Everyone is slowing sharply, Putin slowly turns his head, looks at the flying shoe in his direction, a light smile, barely distinguishable laughter... A little forward, pushing away nearby people, so that they don’t get hit, begins to bend in the back "Alla Neo", turning away from the shoe, jumps under it, throws in the direction of the targeting (still slow shooting), intercepts with his hand in the flight of the second shoe, throws it into the owner, falling exactly between the eyes, in a few steps overcomes the distance that distances him from the offender... a series of fast, barely distinguishable strikes... the enemy flies through the whole hall... crashes into the wall... breaks it... and flies out on that side, falling without feeling on the floor. (the camera is working normally again) Vladimir Vladimirovich is straight, gets his jacket, repairs the folds... He turns to the affected crowd and pronounces ‘Brutality’...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №13291
 28.12.2008
There is only one way to make someone love their job. and name

This is... Crisis! c) Sj

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №13290
 28.12.2008
In the office, they prepare for the New Year, dress a tree and hang postcards on it

With wishes. One manager decided to stick, took a postcard and wrote:

"Good Santa gave me a new brain" The director comes behind.

He looks through his shoulder into the postcard and says, “Nicolas, since we are

Representation of a Finnish company, it should be correctly requested as follows:

Yoolupukki, Yoolupukki, stop putting my hand off my ass. The whole office lies.

The curtain.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №13289
 28.12.2008
The 2008 Financial Crisis:

Hi dear ones. Not seen for 10 years.

Missed or relaxed?

250 rubles for a cup of coffee.

Is it not a car?

Do you make a tea bag once?

As I found out, I immediately arrived.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №13288
 28.12.2008
The Russian children.
A friend squeezed, was in the store with his son, and unsuccessfully dropped the bowl with the collar, broke a hole in it. In panic, he closes the hole with his finger, from where under pressure the collage broke, and the son tells him you open the bowl...He opened, the pressure fell, the collage stopped flowing out. My 5 year old son is invincible.

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13287
 27.12.2008
My friend has a 6-year-old daughter. A girlfriend goes with her out of the garden, listening to a child's talk. Suddenly the daughter says:
You know, I am pregnant!
My girlfriend, roaring her cheek:
What? →? to
“Well, yes,” the daughter calmly continues, “I am a zebra in the zoo and I am pregnant.
“Aha, Zeebra... I understand.
The daughter goes quietly for a while, then breathes hard:
I am a zebra and tired like a dog. Now I will come home, I will wash the coats, and I will give birth!
The couple in the back drowned with cigarettes.

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