bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №76697
 30.01.2013
I am an adult and successful in all respects, I am over 40, I can afford any gastronomic caprices, but I always have a couple of packages.
Alcoholic acid and energy in one bottle.
It helps a lot with the strawberries.
I have solved this mystery: when I eat this slice, the body apparently thinks that I am young and young again and mobilizes the internal reserves, because to roll and breathe from a hammer is too luxurious time for a student.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №76696
 30.01.2013
he-he
Citizen of Turkey without permission tried to take out of Ukraine Tula samovar

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76695
 30.01.2013
five in the morning. The provider cut off my YouTube, contact and several other sites with videos. He does not take the phone. to care. I go to sleep.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №76694
 30.01.2013
boot_from_cd: Why in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean nobody had a clue to push a rhinestone with a shrunked onion?
Seg400: Per there were genuine tears needed?
boot_from_cd: Are you lying?! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №76693
 30.01.2013
In another attack of sexual hunting, the cat stumbled onto a bag of documents. After an emotional conversation with the cat, we talk to our wife in the kitchen.

Maybe she didn’t like something? Maybe the food didn’t like or the filler in the toilet?
M: Next time I’ll take this mocking rod, I swear! You hear, fur rat, I’m squeezing on your rough rod.
It’s not about you, it’s about your things.
M is great! I will take that shirt!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №76692
 30.01.2013
I felt like a dinosaur when I gave a five-year-old girl a look at her Nokia E51 and she returned it to me with the words "You've broken the screen." It is not hard"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №76691
 30.01.2013
In a crowded bus. (C) The conductor asks to transfer for the journey. (T) ethka requires that they approach and personally enrich them.
T: You should have come and beat me!
K: I didn’t want to push. It had to be transferred for travel.
T: This is what you need to come and fly. It is your duty.
K: Well, you think so...
T: I do not think!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76690
 30.01.2013
I remember one time I came to work from a hammer,"slightly"delayed.The head(s) pleased, at the start:
Why are you late?! to
With a guilty smile:
Guten Morgen, Maria Vadimovna
N is:
Do you really think that the characteristics of your body are a respectable reason for being late?
I am :
and??? to
N is:
Once again you’re late, I’ll break it...your ugly organ!O_O

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №76689
 30.01.2013
In connection with the disconnection in the city of cable TV dialogue on the forum:
xxx: Get back to my wife "the kitchen tv" and "the house tv"!!! I need nothing more from you.
Would you break?
Zzz: As soon as the TV was taken from her wife, she demanded sex.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №76688
 30.01.2013
Sasha came to visit us. She picked out the largest potato with the largest eye, put it in the center of the table, and underneath it a note: "This is Fedor. Fedor cannot be eaten. It is growing."
While everyone was in school, my father and grandfather came for some of their papers. And here I go home, I see Fedor, under him a note, and on the note with the grandfather's hand is written: "But if Fedor is not fed - the hero will grow Fedor."

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №76687
 30.01.2013
I work in optics. Over the years of his medical practice, he saw and heard different things, and thought that no one would be able to confuse from the first question. But the writer, as they say, went unnoticed.
Ordinary working day. There are not many customers, but enough to maintain the rhythm. When the crowd is small, the grandmother comes in. A long look at the vitrines, and then the question of the century follows: "Do you have cat food?" My face naturally stretches out: O_o "No". The control question in the head immediately followed: "And why? You are an optimist!"
Yes, and really, what we are after such an optic if we don’t have cat food

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76686
 30.01.2013
The train Lviv-Herson
Two girls are playing on the phone. Become a millionaire.
How many wolves are called. They had to choose between herd and herd. 20 have disputed. Then we chose the herd.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №76685
 30.01.2013
A short joke

>sudo game.exe

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76684
 30.01.2013
I am a teacher of English. I am being translated by two classmates today.

It belongs to Alexander the Great.

Student 1: Who Belonged to Alexander Grey
Student 2: Oh, he had a daughter.

of how)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №76683
 30.01.2013
The Designer:
Where do deleted files get from the storage?
by Sis. by admin:
In Paradise

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №76682
 30.01.2013
[18:48:30] Elena: f?ghjcnbnt
[18:49:52] Elena: a, sorry
Elena: That is what I thought.
Anthony: I always knew you were thinking that way.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №76681
 30.01.2013
I remember in 2010 worked at one factory in the city of N, where this crash occurred.

The director of the factory took me with me to a presentation of the ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) system of the enterprise level as a person, though a little familiar with computers. Everything went well, there was a projector and funny slides in front of us. At the most responsible moment of the price announcement, I was asked to leave.

Exactly 12 minutes later, the director runs out with a stinking face and says, “Let’s go for a million and a half dollars.” But this is not the end.

A few days later, the director shared the idea that no one would allow himself to fuck and he already has a plan: he will call a familiar programmer from Moscow and he will write him a full ERP at the factory level, 700 employees, 3 workshops and 4 warehouses + accounting + finance + analysts + cuts differently for....

And he said to me, “And you will help him"!!!! to
I retired from the factory within a week.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №76680
 30.01.2013
XXX: My daughter is right. I watched old photos of my grandmother and grandfather on the backdrop of the carpet. She is astonished: "Look, this is our poool"

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76679
 30.01.2013
Paulie: yesterday bought a mobile phone from a borr on the market, under the battery found a splash, I sit here, I think... a literate marketing borr or a bonus from the previous owner?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №76678
 30.01.2013
What is "Parsek"?
He went out and disappeared for three and a half years.

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