bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №90925
 11.12.2013
I wonder what will put me to bed faster and more reliably: a pumped body or wine?
YYY is sleeping.

[ + 15 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90924
 11.12.2013
What a real woman should know:
Cooking food from what is.
Find and bring all the necessary products from shops and markets
Clean up housing; create comfort within the allocated amount and freedom of action
Dress beautifully within the amount allocated
To observe the appearance of a man, without preventing him from looking as he wants – even as a boy, this is called respect.
To give birth, to feed, to dress and to raise children without distracting the man.
earn money
Always be fun, cheerful, never disappoint and never dare to complain to a man. There are friends for that.
Keep a conversation on any topic, laugh, comfort, listen to a tired Man. Do not go when he is not with her.
Reading thoughts, guessing desires and true intentions, correctly and unquestionably following the contradictory instructions of Man.
Solve all issues on your own, without hindering the Man from living and without distracting him with his requests and problems.
Hit the nail, twist the screw, change the socket, repair the car, make repairs and build a house.
What a Real Man Should Know
Go to work.
Make a smart face
Unbeatable playing computer games
Convincing about respect and personal boundaries

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №90923
 11.12.2013
XX: I seem to have set a record for an uncomfortable combination of purchases today. I go out of the store "products and everything else", in the basket:
The Champagne
The candles
Large packaging of condoms
a box, and
(You can’t guess anything)
- Stangencirkul (in fact, after him and came, everything else so, on the road got)

The cashier wept, saying that such a precaution - to immediately measure the size of the finger - had not yet met.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90922
 11.12.2013
Comments on the article "ANB. World of Warcraft"

Once upon a time, still a modem landscape, I imagined as a wonderful place for terrorists to meet. Taking into account the specifics of the clan relationships and the in-game slang, you could fearlessly discuss the insidious plans and everything that the terrorists are doing in the breaks. Then I decided that this was some extra complexity with low security and came up with the transmission of information through pornographic gifs, where the duration of friction corresponded to the Morse alphabet. Then I was called from the NSA and told that they needed such fanciers in the service of the homeland. But my country is different and I refused.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90921
 10.12.2013
<bh>: I went to another interview... Why do everyone want me to shave and dress-control? Why are they so offended when I say that I agree for +10k to the salary? Am I not too much with such demands?
<Shnibble> The first in history, which is described by humans began to shave the beard of homosexuals in Egypt.
<PunxRT> Shnibble: a great argument for the interview!


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90920
 10.12.2013
To the question "which is the best car?"I always answer-KAMAZ!Why?Because KAMAZ is always ahead!
Every time you drive on a single lane track on a lengthy rise, the crowd long and slowly slips after KAMAZ, which is always in front of you!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №90919
 10.12.2013
Ghost: the husband of the oracle girl is resentful that she has too many requests :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90918
 10.12.2013
Call 1C from the customer:
We want a full ITS subscription with webcam broadcast.
...??? to
"The nephew of the general told us that 1c is developing a club of underwater programmers who code in aqualanks at the bottom of the pool. And all these programs are a by-product, and they earn on online broadcasts. Give us an account for the full ITS.
and!!! to
That explains a lot...

[ + 3 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90917
 10.12.2013
I am ananas. I don’t want youth.
I want chicken, mayonnaise and salad.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90916
 10.12.2013
Wearing on children's sandwiches (daughter 3.5 years, son 6 years)
The Son in Hearing:
I am Santa on the sandwiches, you are Anja, a snowmen.
Thinking...
My dad is a deer.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90915
 10.12.2013
You, men, are always so, all evil comes from women.
It is not yours! All evil from evil wives. Only good wives are good.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90914
 10.12.2013
United-Ronaldo 1
$7 million can be purchased:
Seven heavy cars
or two apartments
or 45 Vasevic cars
A movie theater with 7 rooms.

Yufilipp: Believe me, whoever will buy such a panel, he already has everything above described by you! and :)

MishiAn: I don’t understand, but why such a twist of 45 vasovsky cars? O_H

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90913
 10.12.2013
So they usually say "you're in the world championship for whom?"or "you're in Wimbledon for whom?", at the end "you're in KVN for whom?".
But today at work I heard a stunning question: "you in Euromaidan for whom do you suffer?" :)))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №90912
 10.12.2013
And about the winter...Winter.The peasant, triumphing, made the saucer a light run!He is screaming-How the Hui, has not yet fallen snow anywhere!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90911
 10.12.2013
I can't communicate with her.
xxx: she writes "chmoki to everyone in this chat"
He does it without sarcasm.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №90910
 10.12.2013
vintos3: The machine rebellion has begun!!! to
V.V.I: They are rebelling?
Vintos3: At work, he threw money into a coffee machine. He first poured me coffee, then gave me a cup, a shit!! to
v.v.i: ))))) and to present nothing, as though he gave it.)))

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90909
 10.12.2013
From the discussion of the video about the Fall Basjamper:

XX: We, the Gagars, are unavailable for pleasures, fools, such. We do not jump from the breakout, breaking our eggs at the sharp cliff, breaking our spines and losing our feathers. But we look at these brave, brave bas-jump storms, in general, with approval. Where do we go to see or enjoy it? Just looking at the crazy, the brave and the powerless. And then we run to the slopes, the body fat to hide...
YYY: Wait for you!! It was about the Penguins!!! to
There were penguins, there were! We do not deny it. But they self-eliminated, hiding the fat body in the rocks. And only the Gagar will remain, those who are unavailable to enjoy the thirst for battle, because they are frightened by the thunder of strikes, the lightning of arrows, those who are extinguished in the swamp.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90908
 10.12.2013
Note: leaving the internet, clear the story and leave an open tab with the recipes of borscht.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №90907
 10.12.2013
I go home, it’s dark enough, nothing is going. I pass by the stop, and there, as usual, there are girls of easy behavior. Merin enters - the window opens, and the body from there: "Girls, what are you waiting for the bus? And here, a grandmother sitting at the stop explodes and cries: "Milok, I go to Kalinin Park."

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №90906
 10.12.2013
10/12-2013
On the shore of desert waves
He was standing - Doom
full of great

20 years since the release of Doom! With anniversary!

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