bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112510
 23.04.2015
here here :
– – – – –
The PS. Oh yeah yes. You have forgotten one small nuance - even if a person is 80 lvl on the placement of tiles (tapet glue, installation of roofs, repair of sanitary equipment, you need to emphasize), he can be banally lazy to do this. Do you understand? The West. The neglect. And if there is a financial opportunity, then why not free yourself from unwanted work?
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Reminds an anecdote about the resort novel: "You are who by profession, tokar? Imagine you come to the beach to rest, and there are machines, machines, machines..."


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112509
 23.04.2015
In our wonderful country, any leader should be ready to call at night from a subordinate who will scream in the trumpet: Boss, everything is gone! - and hearingly wiping tears will explain details about the arrival on the firm of drunk inspectors, wishing to add, or that the chief was bound on the road to the DTP and found in his docks for the post-last year, which he forgot in the pocket of the door, or that the neighbors above the office were terrorists / homosexuals / aliens and now in the house where the office of KTO / fire / picnic is on the sidelines, and all the safes have been taken somewhere. Directly with accounting documents. And from your office too.
___________________________________
And also a raspberries jacket and a cross on 3 kilograms of pure gold. The reality is that the drunk checks at 3 p.m. will communicate exclusively with the police officers and the police officers, the documents in the car of the chief are strictly parallel, and the accounting documents are in order and store these statues in the safe - you will be ruined on the purchase of safe. Because the taxes are now fashionable to pay, and the technologies of their minimization have been worked out for years and in a couple of hours no one will have time to dig and justify anything. You’re that, get stuck with the series of ments.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112508
 23.04.2015
This is:

Instead of the gallery is planted in the office of the A-class, instead of a wheelchair, a laptop is issued, instead of a drummer - a screammaster. The elite slavery of the 21st century is all refinement and refinement.

= = = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
It looks like a poem:

Instead of galleries are planted in the A-Class office
Instead of a laptop.
Instead of a drummer, a drummer.
Elit slavery under the button knock.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112507
 23.04.2015
I understand why the hoops are sitting on the courts.
XHH: The Taz is down.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112506
 23.04.2015
The girl on the tractor:
There is nothing surprising here. The girl apparently wants to ride a quadricycle and / or snowboard, and for this you just need tractor driver's rights. Instructors probably know this, so the "ALL" template is unlikely to break. Only those who have a small pattern.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112505
 23.04.2015
Krke: I remember once a Krasnoyarsk channel conducted its own investigation and sent a journalist with a hidden camera to work in the land delivery service. The report claimed that there in the kitchen sex cloth was washed in the same dishwasher with dishes. Then there were footage from the perspective of a hidden camera hidden somewhere on the chest, visually demonstrating the washing of that cloth with the journalist’s hands.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112504
 23.04.2015
I had a nightmare dreaming that I was in the courtyard with some man, all for life wrecked. And then he gives out that he is the same Pharon who drew out the same two Pascal textbooks. And then all the anger woke up in me, for the years spent behind the screw, for Pascal, for the devil's command line and I began to scratch him with a knife, then he took my side and we went home with knives with him.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112503
 23.04.2015
to the repair.

Everyone can usually do something well. And he gets a good salary for that. Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to be able to do "good" absolutely everything. For example, I am a programmer. And I like my job. I get good money for her. I do not like repairs. So isn’t it easier for me instead of spending a week of my personal life on a job that I don’t like – spending that time on a favorite job, getting good money for it and paying it to someone who will do my repair quickly, qualitatively and professionally?

Of course there are exceptions. I’m not ready to pay two carpenters for repairing a washing machine if all you have to do is twist out the filter and pull out the garbage. I will easily do it myself "according to the instructions on the Internet". I will replace the broken shower. I shake the regiment. Even without instructions. But hanging the straightening ceiling I still called the specialists. And paid them money.

When I was working in technical support, I had a regular client who called me to update the antivirus key. Not that it is difficult to do it yourself - but the man was a specialist in the laying of furnaces and fireplaces, and earned good money on it. For him, a computer is a tool, and he didn’t want to learn how to customize that tool, he just wanted to use it. And if I need a fireplace for the country, I will not do it myself. I will call the man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112502
 23.04.2015
Not exactly so:
Diamond: I used to think that'sleeping like a baby' means sleeping well
Diamond: Now I know what it means - first one and a half hours can not sleep, then wakes up from every shock, and in a dream, he is hurt by himself...
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

A baby sleeps (up to 3 months of course, then - who is) really strong, you can talk in full voice next to him. But not more than three hours in a row, then the AAAONOPHOLD begins. Surprisingly, this little thing can sing and cried in a dream like an adult man, and also cried sometimes as a port trucker. In general, you can love these creatures only by photo, and not by each.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112501
 23.04.2015
xxx:What are the solutions for public WiFi so that people join the VK group?

Two crocodiles flew, one green, the other to the north. How much does a kilogram of nails cost in 5 hectares of fish?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112500
 23.04.2015
Fuck, you have no one to talk to? Stop sitting in front of the monitor, go out, there are also a bunch of strangers...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112499
 23.04.2015
For some reason it seems to me that you do not even imagine that there is not only a landing in the army (which will cover your ass, if anything).

As the practice of the last major "if anything", the end of which we will soon celebrate, has shown, there will be no landing or any other kind of troops covering no one's ass. Just because the personnel army will be dismantled almost entirely in the first few months due to idiotism and command errors. And defending the country will be yesterday's civilians, sometimes going out to fight directly from the factory where they just made their weapons. I would be very happy to be wrong, but there are too many similarities in our country that were then and now.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112498
 23.04.2015
“When I wanted you to get rid of the rehearsals, I meant to play well.
Not to eat and fuck the violin.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112497
 23.04.2015
xxx:Recently such guilt that I suffer from allergies, solid chemistry
YYY: I know, I’ll bring it with me.
yyy: found the wine that even the cat drinks (( straight from my glass, scuco mohnaté

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112496
 23.04.2015
My first sex was in 2000.
YYU: What are you lying, in 2000, you were twelve?
xxx and what? Windows doesn’t ask how old you are.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112495
 23.04.2015
Valery Komskov
I read comments to the news and wonder how people have such bad words just out of their mouths to drive the merchants out of the temples because you see Jesus doing so, a tongue without bones. And so the church's favorable cause for the non-tax import of alcohol and tobacco was taken so that the poor metropolitans switched to bread and water, and what to say - the clocks in the photoshop are forced to drizzle. Real money is lacking. From hunger, the priests began to lose weight so much that soon the cross would not lie on the bow, but hang on the neck on a chain. No, as Mikhalkov proposes, the peasants would be written down to him as servants of the thousand five and the churches of the rest. And it is a shame and shame, before Islam it is a shame - they have something, but with slaves there are no problems.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112494
 23.04.2015
Heinlein, importance for society, military, officials, public service...

Workers and technical specialists are far more important to society, for without them everyone will fight with sticks and stones. And in peaceful life, most of the goods are not created by the military.
And even more important is the agricultural sector, because without their work most of the time all people will go to search for or grow food for themselves.
And even more important for the modern person are the doctors, because without obstetricians and pediatricians, half of you would simply not have survived childbirth, infancy and childhood diseases.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112493
 23.04.2015
From the listening today in the hall, the coach VS fat girl:
Can I eat lasagna?
God is with you! You can glow!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112492
 23.04.2015
I am not lost. I talked with the navigator.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112491
 23.04.2015
X: Now I will tell you the advice I heard on television from a mother of 6 children, which reversed my notions of the world: in order not to waste time in the morning on clothing, put children to sleep in clean clothes, in which they will go to the kindergarten tomorrow.
u: well, with six children exactly otherwise do not survive ))) although I don't imagine what it's like for children to sleep in underwear and fully dressed (somehow it must be uncomfortable)
Z1: The kids will be puzzled! As young as parents are taught, so well. The other thing is what it will look like when they grow up, and the habit is left! and ;)
Z2: In the winter coat and skates!and :)

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