I crawl in a crumbling box. Next to the elevator. An elderly lady (D) and a dog come out. and basset. The dog stopped and began to watch me closely.
D: We are going home!
D: Let’s go now!
D: You still don’t understand anything about it!
The lady drops the lead and leaves. Baset, apparently, having agreed with this verdict, follows her.
The curtains )

I washed my stuff here.
The man is good)))
Wife: You’re not very upset about your green cowards, right?
Wife: Am... I have no green cowards.
Wife: Now there is )

From Habrabrabr:

The survey “What methodology is used in your project” was completed naturally. At the moment, 2,668 people have responded – a huge thank you to all! Surprisingly again won “Through %op” and “How will it be”...

Intellectually immature hanches:

Menstruation in girls starts from 10-14 years old, unfortunately, not all parents descend to explain the subtle aspects of puberty to their children. The limited idiots, IMHO.
Malaria is caused by fungi of the genus Candide, living in ALL without exception human individuals on the mucous membranes in normal. Candidiasis as a disease occurs with a sharp decrease in immunity as a result of stress, disease, taking antibiotics, during pregnancy and before the onset of menstruation. The first three reasons apply equally to men. Yes, and don’t get crazy. This is not a STD, but a violation of the balance of the normal microflora of the body.
And in general, don’t make it on the humorous resource to mock, I’m tired of it. You just complain, no matter what.

How do you print so fast?! to
In the early 2000s, on the old sleeping compass in the local computer club of the House of Creativity, I liked the game very much - on a black background in the green frame appeared a letter, you press it, the next appears. The fun was that the test was for time, with a record table. It fascinated me more than all the games combined (even more than Heroes 2). At that time, the computer was essentially sitting down for the first time and all I could do was move through the folders in the dosage, the windshield was for me a sleepy, incomprehensible forest. He did not know how to print, but he wanted to learn. With unintelligent eyes, I sat down and screwed this program until there was only my name left in the 100 rows of the record table. I stopped only when I could not beat my own score even on the 100th line. There are rumors that the door was specially removed afterwards. The other kids didn’t understand why they couldn’t see their glasses.

At least you’t lie! Who is this red?
The dildon? I get out of the bus in the morning.
I saw...
This is not a red, twisting dildon. This is poet-
Metaphysicist Vladimir Ehrl. He has such
The hair...

I want to be a vampire.
Are you ready to kill people?
I will drink the blood of animals.
J: that is. Are you going to suck rats?? to
M: Ahahah, what is it? by Rofl:
Again on my eyebrows! Chris is pumping, you are no longer standing on your feet!! to
M: Dear, I was glassing like a sober man. My friends and I broke up in the houses 😉

For a long time I could not understand why in the company to keep uneducated and unskilled HR. And every month, this blonde girl with a pleasant appearance gives up to 3 thousand. by Dol.
Until I read this recording.
"The main purpose of iRad is to prove that you can afford iRad."

Cake in the area:

1st Do you have a cake with fresh berries?
2nd Of course, with fresh ones, what else?
1st with frozen
2nd Of course, with frozen, what else?
1st ...

This smart
to this:
XHH: Tell me where to buy a gift to my mom "How to live if my child is introverted"?
WOW: There is nowhere. I would also buy...
Okay, I will write myself.

My Child is an Introvert by Marty Laney
----------
An extrovert, no book will help. She will still bear his brain until he grows up and runs away from it.

There was a funny incident yesterday. I cook pasta in the kitchen, and we can't smoke in the community, but everyone smokes, and smokes usually in the kitchen. The opera comes in (well a student, but kind of a guard something) here, goes into the kitchen, and I at this time caught a spoonful of pasta and checked for readiness, turned my back to the exit face to the window, I cool, the steam naturally goes.
He goes in such a way, sees from behind the back of the steam and such a "opla, kuurim" I turn with a spoon from which the steam comes. He broke and he left.
I still don’t understand how I managed to hide a cigarette under a spoon.

I posted a joke on the site, the moderator replies to me: "Your joke (history) "Too many p***s divorced..." was not missed in the section "Joke" on the site, because it violates the rules of the section or is not a joke." And the joke is in the topic...

As in the anecdote: "A uncle comes to the bank, he wants a loan for a gay club, he is asked, "Who will go to you?" In the loan they refuse, and he says to them: "And you come..."

I am a doctor.
A thoughtful man comes today to the reception, complaints about burning during urination, blood noticed more. Everything indicates banal cystitis, urine analysis is done. Explain what, in men, although much less often than in women, but urinary tract infection occurs, nothing terrible.
The man is somewhat ugly.
Then he asks - but at work they had a man alone, hearing about his problem, shared that he was also ill, just a couple of days ago, and he had chlamydia found, and even forbidden to go to work, said, very contagious. (Everything is right, but if in the eye, a trachoma is such a thing).
I explain to him with a blue eye that from a colleague at work he was unlikely to get chlamydia, it is purely sexually transmitted. She explained in detail - the fucking man is not fun. I sent urine to the flora, I prescribed antibiotics - I don't understand anything, what else he needs, what is dissatisfied?
Finally, after all my detailed inquiries, I gave birth - and my wife has the same thing, I went to the doctor today...

I have been married for 9 years. I have two sons. It all started with the fact that I blinked at a cute girl on the street, as a drop of rain hit my left eye at the moment when I turned my gaze right into her eyes for a moment.

xxx: My code is perfect, so I have questions to compiler developers.
YYY: I have a question to the staff of the psychiatric hospital where you were treated.

Most Russians very much want to hit the head 1) Orphographic dictionary 2) Orphographic dictionary 3) Mathematics textbooks for 5-6 class.

Wergon: Nastya, you’re like a promzone, just as wild and unrestricted, and I’m here to certify you.
Wergon: Your Production
Wergon: Your Products
Wergon: Implement your quality management system
Wergon: carry out a fire audit of your passion
Wergon: Develop the special technical conditions of your body
Wergon: Explore your facilities
Anastasia: not forgot to calculate the time of evacuation from my heart?

A very strange recipe for soup.

After such a soup, your ass will learn to tuum "Immortal power", even if you are a nihuya never dowaquin.

I never understood that you were so upset yesterday.
YYY: Well how to tell you... Played with friends in the "hat", I was in a pair with a young man at the height of puberty, so to speak. I explain the word “order” as “quality” when a guy doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t stick to girls. Especially for drunk" In general, his answer to “impotence” made me think about a lot.

Forum, discussion of the model of the car, then conversations on the topic of its use:

"The cooler the jeep, the longer to wash behind the tractor"
The Jeep is a type of car that will get stuck where no other car can get there.
Everyone thinks it’s not about him, but it’s a misconception.
So, in most cases of auto obstructivity, the matter is not in the passability of the car, but in the "preload" :music:

To all of the above, I can add the cruise phrases from Murphy’s Laws:

Principle of Auto
A car has to drive, a man has to think.

Law of Electoral Gravity
The object will fall in such a way as to cause the greatest damage.
The investigation of Clippstein
The most fragile detail.

Law of Field
You cannot fall from the floor.

Watson's Law
The reliability of the equipment is reverse proportional to the number and position of persons observing it.

Schmidt's Law
If you ruin the car long enough, it will break.

Axioma of Cana
If nothing else helps, read the instructions.