Habr, article on health:
Q: Why is it a bad habit?
ууу: improper use of matte can lead to facial injuries.

In the journey:
What a delicious soup!
But you haven’t tried yet!
Don’t stop me from dreaming!

It’s like a bullshit in the hallway!! to
And what did you do?
How what? I was scared!

(This is not a quote)

In German, cat is Katze and cat is Kater.
...Until recently you can say accidentally did not find the second meaning of the word "Kater" in the dictionary. Especially the Mushroom. And the stable phrase "Ich habe einen Kater", which means not at all "I have a cat", as I always thought, and not at all the refined "I’m from the beard"... And after all, no dog has said! :D

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I stumbled upon that quote and grabbed my head. For several years I have used on various Internet resources the original nick Lustig Kater, which, as I thought, translates as "Awesome Cat"... and in fact, not at all a cat (
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What are you like kids? In all languages there are words with a million meanings. The meaning is understood from the context. “Ich habe einen Kater” is not a consistent expression, but simply an example of usage. If you say in Russian "I added hernia to soup", you won’t think about the genitals, right?

P.S It will be right "Lustiger Kater", because the inclination of adjectives.

Sorry for the offset:

These losers are:

> My husband has a strange property.
Last year transferred the accumulations from Sberbank to Invest-Bank – and a few months later the bank declared bankruptcy.
and gt;
In October, after a year of checks and collecting a bunch of documents, the husband finally settled... at Gazprom.

> The country, forgive me!

No problem, for the sake of Gazprom we will forgive him a dollar.

My fiancé was playing online games and featuring me as a girl when the evidence was boring – he was downloading my photos. She says that girls are easier, they all help.
I am better. I played at Warcraft five years ago. Played for a female character and when they fell on the whole team one sharp sword, you need to divide it somehow. He wrote in the chat: “Well guys, look, I have a beautiful dress for him! Can I get it?" No problem with the distribution :)

X: Have you heard that a browser version of Skype is coming out?
Y : Why?
Z: Why is it? 0 - O
X: Well, to eat even more memory... %)

My son, 3 years old, shows the mixer in the bathroom:
What water is there?
and cold.
And here?
and hot.
With surprise and indignation:
Where is the warm?! to

We are developing a vehicle control system.
He proposed to name it "SCAT", the boss thought and added "automated".
The result is "Ask". The programming is based on the Latin "asscat".

It was "Scat" and it became "Jopocot".

In Novom Deviatkovo, activists washed dozens of GPS trackers into the toilets, and monitor their journey online. One of the sensors almost sailed to Kronstadt"

Xxx is an attack on Sweden!
Yyy Kakaška traveler

XXX: the third day in a row I go to work in a wagon, where the running line broadcasts something like "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS passengers"AAAAAAAAAAA" circles without pauses. What would that mean?
YYY: Obviously, the back of the mouse. Shut up, soldiers!

Whenever I run the program on behalf of the administrator, I imagine standing on the top of a rock in a thunderstorm, and raising my hands to the sky, amidst the flashes, a lightning screams: “I swear by the name of Admin!”and "

On the passengers of the trolleybus from the back of the pitch moves a giant ass on hairy legs, merging the glued pasta through the deck and threateningly bumping under the nose: okay, google, run-god bag...

xxx: Marinka bought a T-shirt with print "sysadmin's wife"
XX: There are only two nuances.
T-shirt size 52
XXX: I am an ophthalmologist.
XXX: Sysadmin in family

YYY: Today, a buyer from the future came to us in the electricity store!
Yyy: I asked the wireless connectors!
X: I did not find it, of course.
YYY: Why is it? I offered him the usual.
Yyy: Giving him in the hand, he told him not to connect the wires.
Yyy: After an hour, I brought her and asked her to check.
YYY: I honestly admitted that I can’t check. No other equipment has been invented.
Tesla invented something.
YYY: His relative probably.

An idea for Hollywood:

"Schwarzenegger was invited to film the sequences - "The Running Man" and "Conan".

How can he film there?! to

Given his elderly age, he can only star in films "Ele the Flying Man".

and "Connor-pensioner""
— — —
Schwartz, with his current merits and status, just need to play Conan in the screenplay "The Color of Magic" of Pratchett, if enough self-irony then it will be a hit, 100%

I have only two teeth left for 30 years. So I know five hundred soup recipes. Let him be cursed!

Added
____________
This is:

How beautiful and astonishing is the life of a sclerotic - once every six months I try to get in the closet, I find a pencil, I rejoice, I unfold it, remembering that it has its edges cut off, I twist it and put it back.

In 2006, the Central Bank of the Russian Federation adopted new guidelines "On the signs of solvency and the rules of exchange of banknotes and coins of the Bank of Russia", if your penny retained at least 55% of the original area, carry it to the bank and exchange it.

And losing the opportunity to rejoice once every six months? Think about what you advise!

Buying furniture for children:
alex40041: the best lock from children is a two-noded rope!
senneka: Well, first, this rope needs to be attached somewhere else, and secondly, the box needs to be used, and the rope tied to two nodes will be tired of bonding and unbinding.
alex40041: I would have made it easier - twisted the pen
YAS1: It does not help.
Botopotam: he meant a child. and 8-)

The Literature:
> reading the posts of students, the question arises:
> did they go to school just to get rid of the army?

When I read your post, my hat slipped from me. If you understand what I am about.

Have I grown up, or have I become an idiot?