Headline on Yandex: UN Secretary General asked Medvedev to help with re-election.
I immediately remembered the joke:
" in the year 2013. Obama calls Medvedev:
- Dmitry, listen, I have elections soon, you could not help, so that it goes out, as you do in Russia, with a huge advantage to win.
and OK. There is no problem. There is such a Churov, appoint his voices to count - and there will be no problems.
Time passes, Medvedev looks at the news, learns that there are elections in the United States. I’ll call Churrov, I’ll find out what’s going on. He answered:
Dmitry Anatolyevich is working. Of course there are difficulties, of course the region is unknown, but we are applying all our efforts, and according to the latest results, United Russia has 65% of the votes.

Two of the highest IQs ever recorded on Earth belong to women.
X: And one of them is still unable to find a job.

by VKontakte. I am pleased with the status of one girl: "You spoiled me." Hm. I wonder, she guesses who she is in this situation??? and c)
The fucking.

The Russian language dictionary of Ushakov:
An onanist is a sufferer of onanism.
To suffer is to suffer, to experience suffering, to experience heavy, unpleasant sensations from pain.
I feel like Oshakov did something wrong.

I am in the tax. In front of me an uncle dictates something unclear, a very young worker asks: "Repeat by letters".
W: Well, he is starting out. Something like: A – Arcadia. R is a novel. Then I thought. "Y is iodine"
The girl thought: "What? Tell me your name!"
He said, “I am the one who says, ‘I am the one who says, ‘I am the one who says, ‘I am the one who says.’
Q&A: What is this name? The girl asks. Tell me more ".
And then the uncle broke through: "Yeah, I’m ashamed. I am deceived!! Y is! Yoga and Yoga!and "
The girl moved her eyebrows through the house and said understandably, “Hey? So you would immediately call it YZ, for example".

A friend calls, tells a story.
xxx: the supplier of the kit to the store of a friend lay in a private clinic for surgery... awakened from anesthesia, feels a severe pain in the chest (although the operation was supposed to be done in the ass - to remove the polyp benign). stretches his hand to the chest - there is an incredibly tight bandage... that it is impossible to breathe... hears, causes the nurse... he says that it is a bandage holding, so that the implants do not fall out... in short, his chest silicone lice!!! And in the neighboring chamber there was a girl who wanted these breasts... and her surname was just as unshakable and unshakable as that of the supplier... it was clear that there was a scandal, etc., but here is only the one who was not lucky: a guy with breasts, or a girl with a broken ass...

Megabait: Listen what happened to me tonight.
Megabyte: Hanging a client’s satellite plate. The client lives in a private house. In short, a piece of tiles under my feet went and I with the satfider in one hand and the key in the other didn’t have time to catch up with anything, but my pants clung to the television antenna, and it (the tube itself) at the base was rotten and collapsed. I fell first on the apple seed and it broke off, then hit my back very hard on the fence and crashed into the dog canoe in full force. Conor in the shells. The dog apparently died of fear (I didn’t want it at all!). And my foot I managed to break the glass in the window (while flying wanted to re-group but didn’t have time). Now they still have a roof. There are no dogs. In the courtyard, a pogrom like after a rocket attack, there is no internet and the zombie fighter does not show. I am a high-class professional. This is written on my visit card.

Mikle4 (10:08:25 22/04/2011)
I really have a friend, from my early brothers, then businessmen, in the early 1990s to one of my driver-expeditor. When he was discharged for knockouts, he wrote in his work book Dismissed for the fox!
The court was even condemned to reinstate the employment. What a small penalty.)

This is UG, but the public here is more than anywhere else.

Article 43 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation:
Public access and free of charge of preschool, basic general and secondary vocational education in state or municipal educational institutions and enterprises are guaranteed.

By July of this year, free kindergartens in Russia will be paid. We are talking about the federal law FZ-83 "On amendments to certain legislative acts of the Russian Federation in connection with the improvement of the legal status of state (municipal) institutions".! to

And now coming to enroll the child in school that from September you will have to pay for the school about 7t.

What are you doing, demons?? to

I really respected my boss when, after asking me, “What’s better, the BMW X5 or the Lada Kalina?” he replied, “I don’t know, I didn’t ride a cane.”

Printed television programs are the saviors of Russia: only thanks to them the people have not yet learned to read.

There was at the end of the Soviet times in the 6th sports school of Kharkov an outstanding grandfather, a well-deserved fighting coach, whom they called simply and unobtrusively - Palych. He looked ridiculously like Louis de Funes, only rarely smiled and infinitely mated. In his 'far beyond 60' he was unusually bold and aggressive. Young students respected and loved him.
The story ended in a snowy winter. At night, Palic returned from training between the dark fifth floors to the stop. At the stop, two men were waiting for the victim. It seemed that the victim itself went into the hands of the hunters - a tiny little old man in a gorgeous nork hat - a promised easy harvest of the 90s yard spana! The attack was rapid. One rattled with a question of the kind "give grandfather to smoke," and the other with pleasant rancor stretched his hand to his hat. After a moment, the stretched arm was intentionally captured by a chain of wrestling palms with a 40-year-old experience, after which the hopper, flying through Palycha in the reception of the "mill" with a thunderstorm landed on his back in the snow, losing breathing reflexes for half a minute.
The second "bandit" experienced a technique that was later difficult to remember, because only what was crazyly painful was remembered.
The fist entered the rage. It is not often possible to see the angry Louis de Funes.
He melted these hoops sophisticatedly. In a few minutes the matter was done.
Both were lying in the snow and begging for mercy. My grandfather decided to stop. At about 20 o’clock, I heard the screams: “The sticks are beating!” here here!” A crowd of healthy young fighters went out of training.
I do not know the further fate of these two unfortunate, but for Palic the whole school was proud of 10 years.

Smile more often and more will smile to you.

Ohhhhhh And even over Hitler was well treated in this... how there he was... Well tell me...
Oh well. At the forty fifth?

Sasha (accounting): Andrei, you’re only working here for a week, and I’m tired of reminding you to wash your cups, as soon as you’re using the common! You have never washed.
AHDPEu (accounting): I don’t see any need to wash my cups. What is the meaning? There is only a small plate left, and then you will still pour the same tea into them! It’s just overwork.
Leonid (Comp. I don’t see the need to wipe my ass. What is the meaning? There’s only a small slide left, and you’ll still get the same shit out of them! It’s just overwork.

Valentine the Bear:
Night, and I’m sitting singing... I like it.
The bad ball:
And I sit with the oak in my hands, the game calms) and the night gets fairy shades...
Valentine the Bear:
Oh brother, you understand me.
Just Fun:
Do you have a painting plant burning nearby?

GK: Now the magnificent samurai swords carved in Fukushima County have received additional radiation damage.

He poured boiling water not into a cup, but into a cup of coffee.

Why are you sitting here under the pear and so enchanted by it?
This is... Spring. I admire the flowers!
Oh yes, it is fun! I’m also seeing for the first time that on a boxing pear are placed blossoms with flowers.

Sam258: Is it really Easter Sunday?? to
Nata: Definitely...
Sam258: fucking... in which centuries came home early and decided to help his wife - thought she decided to prepare a salad - all the eggs cleaned...