bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88770
 24.10.2013
Here is this:

Reading posts about the Russian Post, there was such an idea.Build a package with pressure sensors on all sides, an accelerometer, a microphone and an actual recording device.On arrival (if it comes) to process the data and put it on the network)Who has the technical resources for this experiment, do this PLEASE.

Read the Habr. A similar experiment was conducted. A lot of educational travel packages.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88769
 24.10.2013
From the Coder Forum (2003)

♂: How can I make the background around the desktop icons transparent?
♀ Is it to see the inside of the monitor?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88768
 24.10.2013
I feel like a tough man, when I remove the squeeze with cuts, align my nails with a superfil, sew my clothes with a sheath and flat clothes.
I feel a gentle girl when I clean the wires with maneuveral scissors, turn off the screws with a nail bar, clean any surfaces with a liquid to remove the lacquer.
Well, why in an emergency, like evil, the necessary items are never at hand, right?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88767
 24.10.2013
XXX is
Yuzera from Kazan is generally a rare tree, сууука.

XXX is
A piece of chick-chick, with what, from the strawberries.

XXX is
At the top right, find the button with your name. The Right. The Right. No, it is left. on top. Totally up. Yes, here above, but on the right. The Right. Here is. Turn the screen as far as possible to the right. Not right down. The Lower. Which is below. Yes is. to the right. Down to the right.

XXX is
And then they get offended that we talk to them like fools.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88766
 24.10.2013
Wow, honestly what are you under?
Under the thickness. If you try, it will cover your head.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88765
 24.10.2013
Sustainable delusional ideas that are culturally inadequate, ridiculous, impossible and/or grandiose in content.
Criteria for schizophrenia according to ICD-10 (from pedivakia)
yyy: this is called the "graduate work". ridiculous, inadequate, impossible and grand in content.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88764
 24.10.2013
A month ago in our elevator, the glass in the ceiling was broken and the two lamps struck. The City Council installed new lamps, which were also instantly shut down, because no one was going to insert the glass... The whole next week we watched a war between the City Council and thieves, expecting that it would end earlier: the lamps in the City Council or empty spaces in the ceilings of the thieves. In the end, I first got tired of it, and I wrote on paper "The light bulbs are connected to the alarm. Not to scratch! JQ." and glued it on the wall in the elevator. This war ended.
One day, there was almost a crash. I went into the elevator and it was half dark. One lamp burns and the other does not. I looked, the second lamp was half turned. Someone probably wanted to get rid of it, but at the last moment...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №88763
 24.10.2013
Finally a normal snow fell. by Lipki. The boys at the stop play in snowballs and accidentally get into an adult man who looks very and very representative. You can even say that it is harsh. The boys stopped breathing when their uncle’s gaze turned to them. Under his eyebrows he saw the eyes with which he seemed to want to destroy them. Everyone who was at the stop was frozen.
“The armor is not broken,” said the man.
They all let go. :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88762
 24.10.2013
to this:
The Siberian hydrocarbon company. To monitor the process, IP-cams with HD resolution were placed on the field. have enabled. The radio channel broke, the telemetry fell, it stopped showing how much oil pumped. The monitoring was turned off and the oil was running out. Enabling the compression of the video stream in the HD-camera was not enough expiration. A fairy decision was made on the planners. Every day carry on an external hard drive 20 GB of video for 30 km into the office, from where to download to the head office on a wider channel (which at this time again becomes dead), so that the boss looks at the process of CRS. The year 2013. We drive bytes.

Everyone is right: who does not know / does not want to work with his head, he works with his hands.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88761
 24.10.2013
There are people in our country who work only eight hours a day.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88760
 24.10.2013
IRA
I was squeezed a little by the boss, I forgot to make a record in the magazine... a little bit, and itching.I need to come up with some psychological technique to calm this itching)
by 15:19:27

XXX is
I am often called on the carpet to the director. I know one insidious trick, how his rubbish becomes useful to me))

UUU
Which?

xxxx
Now imagine it. The director is all such a weapon, red, carries all kinds of shit, shakes his hands. And you are so modestly standing up and pumping the vaginal muscle...

After such a carpet, my nerves did not shell, and the shape, so to speak, supports)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88759
 24.10.2013
I will build a spacecraft with a hyper-light engine and fly to another galaxy.

I do not advise, citizen, I do not advise. They eat.
© A. and B. Strugacki

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88758
 24.10.2013
Wikimedia Executive Director Sue Gardner has issued a statement calling public attention to the inefficient use of the Wikipedia funds collected. The project spends too much on grants to people who contribute too little to the development of the encyclopedia. It often happens that grants are received by the same people who give them, which, according to Gardner, is a prerequisite for corruption.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88757
 24.10.2013
Intelligent

I also doubt:

I doubt this:
A caterpillar on the road. I like to turn them out, then they slip to the other side. So I turned it, and then a girl I knew said:
Maybe she’s going to get her kids (unfortunately).
I first laughed, and then, walking 100 meters, I remembered that today is Mother’s Day.
I had to go back to get her back in the right direction!

— — —
The goose is a child. A mature insect that can have children is butterflies.
So you may have brought the disobedient child back home from the hustle trip. Then I turned back to the blade again.

— — — —
A healthy goose will never descend from its plant and will not float along the road and any other open place. All the goats you see crossing the road are usually infected with the larvae of the goat rider who eat the goat from within and change its behavior, forcing it to move where the larvae need to. You can conduct an experiment: plant such a goose in a bowl, and after a while the larvae will bite it and go out happy.
This is what I do... Husenice is already on the drum, where she is, she is doomed and deprived of almost all her inners. This is the truth of life.

-------

Did you get rid of it all??? I came here to dress, not to dress. Go to Wikipedia and be smart.

I am in a fucking mood.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88756
 24.10.2013
Maxim> Have you noticed that cell phones are disappearing from the streets? This is so that you and I can’t get out of the Matrix.
Andrei may be taken by the Lord of Time to make the new Tardis.
Maxim> Andrei, I don’t know about Tardis. Shield, the Torchwood group should be against.
Andrei> right, they also want to get out of the Matrix

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №88755
 24.10.2013
My dad fell over the kids. The computer taps "+","-" and then enter. These three buttons are placed on a normal key next to each other. We take a plastic card, run three buttons (there is a thread needed) and the computer is turned on. For children, the explanation is that the computer is now turned on only by this card, which is hidden, so that without the parents you can't turn it on. I was surprised, I believed, we have only turned on a card for a week.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №88754
 24.10.2013
A letter to the IT department from "very experienced" user:

The printer on the 4th floor printed invisibly!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88753
 24.10.2013
Today, when buying a printer, the seller burned.
First the print will be dirty, then you will get used to it.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88752
 24.10.2013
We pass by the children's clinic, we see a banner on the wall: "If you love animals, don't eat them, and if you eat, don't say what you love. "My girl comments: "If you love beer, don't drink it, and if you drink, don't say you love it. ")))
Cotte, Odmin, Schredder, o_o
*** by
You drink. Now I have seen everything.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88751
 24.10.2013
You are raising children, and why?
Wife: When they grow up, let them leave us alone!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna