and YUUU. I cooked such a selfie. You are hanging. No smell of silhouette can be heard. The head from the morning as after 1% kefir. All the smells added. Better than whiskey. Then suddenly it stopped working. The fortress is none. He poured out, insisted again - all the same... I tied up with the self-infestation, the machine was thrown out.

My daughter celebrated 39 years. I remembered my selfie. She admitted that at the age of 17 she went to the country with girls and boys - they drank my swallow and praised! Then, whatever I did not notice, the residues were diluted with water.

I study once, listen to me. If a girl meets you naked in a transparent coat, it means she has already decided that you will have sex. But you shouldn’t offer her sex, you should give her a lot of unobtrusive compliments, and if she suddenly calls you a perverse, you should still do a lot of compliments and don’t take a moment from her, but don’t touch. If she says - let's drink tea, you have to agree, but say at the same time that she is an incredible mistress, a poet's dream, etc., but you can't drink tea, because. You have grabbed your throat from her beauty, mind, business, and so on. While she’s going to pour tea, don’t stop complimenting and try to kiss her. If you start screaming that you are a perverse and resist, stand back and silently drink tea. As soon as she asks (and she asks) why you’re silent, start making nonsense, about the fact that you can’t hold yourself back anymore, but you understand that she’s a decent girl and doesn’t give everybody, so you’re ready to wait as long as she says. In 80% of cases, you will have sex at this stage. If she’s still breaking or saying something – and how long you can wait, say boldly – like her, you’re ready to wait for a lifetime. In 99% of cases, sex will happen on the threshold, it will hold you back. If after that she will stand in a position, then boldly leave and don’t call her anymore. In 99.5% of cases, she will call you back for any occasion and then sex will be 100%. And if not, then boldly walk her through the forest otherwise then all your life you will go to say compliments and she will need them more and more))))

Everybody then slept at lectures after a tumultuous night or out for preparation for the exam or for any other reason. I had my own.



I studied on a paid basis at the Film Faculty. In order to earn my education, I worked in the night shift, and by day I was driving in pairs. The specialized pairs that I was interested in were the last, and sometimes even after the big window, at a time when I especially wanted to sleep.



At first I struggled with these feelings, but sometimes the sleepiness got up and I slept down on a chair right at the lectures.



The teacher and my classmates never woke me up—learned to put light directly on me while I was sleeping—everything was more interesting than doing it on a plaster. So after the couple I always had a few beautiful art photos as I slept at the lecture.

From the day of moving to a new apartment, there was an autonomous fire alarm sensor.

He hung himself calmly for 10 years, not touching anyone.

But suddenly I became curious about what this thing is like, how it works and in general, whether it works.

He removed from the wall, opened the battery compartment, and there was a crown in the film.

That is, the sensor people hanged, and did not turn on.

Okay, I got the film, I turned it on, I forgot.

Five months have passed.

I decided to cook myself a couple of juicy chewbacks.

I have not done anything for a long time.

I cooked, put on, decided to pour another hot bowl and here...

A wild whisper at the ultrasound level, neighbors began to knock on the battery, some even fled apartments.

As you may have guessed, the sensor worked.

A long time later I justified myself before the neighbors that the alarm was not false, but educational.

But no one ever believed me.

Because normal people don’t bake chewbacks at 3 o’clock at night!

My mom and I lived in the same apartment with my grandmother. I don't know why, but my grandmother didn't love my mother, and therefore me. I was born in the 90s, the story happened when I was 8 years old. Mom then was very sick, did not work, and therefore there was almost no money, not to say about grandmother (she had a very good pension and work was then). She carried separate meals with us, wrapped the foods in a pack and watched that no one would touch (in the flesh before measuring the line of distance). And here, in one of the beautiful moments, when she once again praised my three-born brother, who was successful in everything, smart and generally "not a child, but gold", I replied: so he has grandmother Nastia, and I have you (the names changed). She did not talk to me after a year. I still remember the moment when we had no food for 2 days (we delayed the salary), ate bread and water, and she, seeing this, with me eating a sandwich with ivory.



And now she’s offended by me and asks: why don’t I call her, why don’t I always congratulate her on holidays?

A potential customer calls and asks to meet for lunch at one of the entertainment complexes on the foot court. Okay, I went, I think at the same time and I will eat afterwards.



We meet him:

Client: Oh Sirog, did I not know this, Victor, did you and I study in the same group in the universe?

I: Hi, but I don't remember you (we studied off-site and after the release of more than half of the group since then I have not seen, and honestly I don't remember them many years have passed).

Well, and they ran after the Marine.

I: Let’s go to work.

Customer: Well okay, I need to make electricity and sanitary in the cottage, just make a discount of 100,000, the contract will only be concluded for 120,000 along with materials and I need a year-on-year payment for installation and materials, there is no money now and the house is needed now.

I: I will not give a discount of 100,000, otherwise it will not be profitable to deal with, the contract will be for the full amount, the only thing I can offer is a 3 month deferral.

Customer: You're a fool, I said that for a year and a contract for 120,000 or you don't need the money?

I: I voiced my proposal and I am not going to change it, I do not want to work for myself and I do not want to be a bad guy.

Customer: So I will not cooperate with you, but I was so normal in the universe, for my own needs to be different.



After that I got up and left, and I calmly breathed and mentally thanked that I did not contact him or it is unknown how our cooperation would end.

He fell into the dungeon. GAZelka, who was driving in front of the left, suddenly remembered that she needed a duplicator and brake rebuilt into my row. I was driving for relaxation and missed this manoeuvre. The wet meat on the road supplemented the etud. In the end, I very colorfully scratched the entire left side of the fighter. The idiot himself.

He called the GIBDD, put on a vest, put out a sign and sat down to read Picaba. After a couple of hours of standing in front of me, the audio brakes, and a guy comes out to me. And then I remembered: a couple of months ago I was driving on the same road and in the same place saw a car standing with a broken left side. The sign was not yet displayed, the emergency signal was not turned on... I immediately decided to slow down, to find out if everything is okay. The driver and passenger were alive. From the driver's story, I learned that they were cut by another car and leaving the collision of the fireplace struck by the side in the detector. Just like I am now. I found out if they needed help and got a negative answer and went on.

And now there was also the most Audi in front of me. The driver is the same guy. Only he did not immediately realize that I was the same driver who stopped last time to help him.

I was even more surprised when the guy said he came specifically, brought coffee, gave me a cigarette. When he saw my car, he remembered how he was standing there and decided to support me.

If you are reading these lines, thank you again! I waited for the patrol for two hours. Your coffee was great!

I wish everyone to meet more and more responsive people on my way!

The easiest way to correct the brains of those who don’t have them.

A little bit depends on the tank. All customers become spectators. Two on stage. Fighting grandmother... no... the language doesn’t turn to call her so. The adult mom. Good posture, a confident voice, a confident look. Judging by the aura – youth was strong, even before the 90s, in which she just laughed in the face of the era. Her grandson with her. Clearly raised in Japanese traditions - the words "no or not" - are prohibited. But flirting is not synonymous with “lack of demands.”

Boy of 8 years. A little smiling on the hero of O’Henry’s “Leader of the Red Roses.”

The box hangs. Everyone is waiting. Grandma has an easy dialogue trolling with her grandson. To be clear, the association:
Grandma is a brilliant railroad.
The grandson is a flexible, yellow thread.

Go to the toilet.
Maybe not need?
Maybe not need. But I will not stop.
I am in the window!
The meeting wind.
I’ll open the window in the trunk (per my grandmother’s jeep).
and well. You wet the jeans – you wash and wash the car yourself.
( the pause )
Laadly...
The boy goes away... returns.
Washing your hands?
and yes!
Why to lie?
How about grandmother?? to
The mansets are dry.
(The guy with his lips admirably experiences whether “your mother” or “bl..t”... goes and comes)
Can I feed the pigeons?
– Go to.
(The man leaves, returns with an angry face)
There are two people smoking at the entrance.
- Go out and tell them that they are smoking frozen strawberries at the tank. Let them shut up.
(He runs away with a happy, harmful face... returns quickly... behind him two... such... strong... confident... strong... demonstratively holding cigarettes in his hands... I would, if I met them - crossed the other side of the street. The look is lazy questionable “...and...what for...on.” Further on the script. My grandmother sees them. The audience is divided in half. One gets phones and pop-corns. The second is looking for a pharmacy. The guard is focusing on something outside the window. The fly under the ceiling enthusiastically rubs the legs.
If you are looking for who sent the boy, it is to me. If you start to argue with Matt, I’ll break your whisper with a bag.
You hear, Mommy...
(It is interrupted, as in school, when the teacher "imposes" iron intonations on the stupid comments of the student-huligan).
Didn’t you squeeze, brother? What am I to you, mommy, you are a half-dummy amorphous. If you think that your cellulite will press me, you will be wild. Do not open your mouth anymore. You have already told yourself. Do not pull your share to the bottom, or you will respond.
(The boy, not paying attention to what is happening, unwaveringly chooses the coke... the grandmother for a second to him, without changing the pressure)
Take light, there is less sugar.
(Return to the monologue)
Both smoked cigarettes and threw them out. Idiots and fools, forgive me.
(as in Gogol - a silent scene, even the flies quieted... one of the guys suddenly grabs the phone, and with a business look comes out... the second behind him...)
What if I smoke too?
If you are going to pull up twenty-five times, and you have nothing to do, and there is no place to spend money - smoke. Remove the chair.
Why Why?
Nicotine from the poop will shrink.
– Grandma, you’re old – and as you wrote before, there were no iPads and phones!! to
On the bridge, bl.
(His patience is over)

The boy smiles happily.

The cashier said: “The cashier has earned.”

The public applauds.

For voting on retirement age, Russians did not have special knowledge.
And for voting on amendments to the Constitution, for example, on the balance between the federal and municipal authorities, Russians have special knowledge.

A colleague said:

In the distant 80s, a citizen decided to "break" a rural store, he did this carefully prepared, went to work sober and without a partner, cut off the alarm ring (naturally, there were no extra-departmental guards at the time, especially not in the village), the guard peacefully "waited" at home, as he lived in the neighborhood.In general, he went to the room, first picked up clothes for his wife and children (which were seven on the shelves), then the products of various canned foods, cakes, candy, etc., and also about himself without forgetting-throwing a couple of boxes of alcohol.

In the morning the village woke up from the heart-breaking scream of the grandmother-guard, came the opera group with the district, questioned everyone who could, scratched all along and across, but no witnesses, not traces.It would seem like an ideal crime, burned it ridiculously a week later on the fact that the boys dragged on the street condensed and chocolate candy (although previously sometimes and sugar for weeks did not see), why could they just not not interest the local district and on the question "Where?“Friendly answered, ‘Yes, we have such good things in the couch at home!’

There is such a technique (and is quite well practiced in the overseas countries), the transplant of intestinal microflora. Patients whose whistle in the intestines and pathogenic flora kills normal and even begins to penetrate the bloodstream, causing sepsis, blood contamination.

Now the story itself

As if in our resuscitation, one patient was bending from sepsis and all other nonsense. It would seem that he went to repair, but he was caught by a terrible stroke, with clostridial infection, carousel on the second round of sepsis, stroke does not stop, food is not absorbed, darkness

The patient really dies, lives dumb on adrenaline and IVL

The relatives walk in total sadness, do all possible and impossible all things.

And we just came to the conference, we heard about microflora transplantation.

We know how to do it, theoretically, but strenuously.

We found the most responsible nurse, took her transplant, checked for adequacy and let us transplant.

Carro, he eventually recovered. The relatives kissed our hands, asked, Boh type probably helped us, you said that the chances are zero.

We cried and agreed.

We will not say that the shit healed him.)