bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110248
 05.03.2015
here here :

HH: And what, Anonymous, does the reason make sense? I would like to walk out my cat somehow, when it warms up, or he has already pulled all the eyes out of the window, but it's better and, for example, it's worth it behind the door in the carrier, as he begins to scream with a terrible voice of cat matta.
Well, you can try it on a slide with a leash. But some cats just lie on the ground and drag as you want.
zzz: Because it is not man who walks out the cat, but the cat of man B) although some cats walk on the leash straight like dogs, but usually the owner respects the cat.
-----------

I walked my cat like this. Wear a shirt, put in a transfer. They took a thin mattress and went out to the park. They chose a bench on the sunny side, sat on two sides, put a mattress between them, got a cat. And then we three melted in the sun, we along the edges, in the middle of the cat on the mattress.
But the end of the shale should be firmly held in your hand, and the carrier should be ready with an open lightning / cover in case of the sudden appearance of an unlearned dog nearby.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110247
 05.03.2015
Volunteers at the hospital.
At the time of studenthood in the medical institute practiced in the hospital of ambulance. I remembered one case:
An ambulance arrives, two teenagers come out, both move hard, tilt forward and pull something heavy with both hands. The first one cried loudly. It was only when they were nearby that it became clear that they were dragging their own members, inflated to the size of three-litre pots. Just the guys in the mud got the silicone injection, but the dose was not informed.
The fucking. The organs were restored to their former condition, but their functions were lost forever.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110246
 05.03.2015
Today, the UN Charter was signed on a pair of international law. Prepod talked about two technical cases, the first - when Argentina, in the alphabetical order of compiling the list of countries, was at the top of all (Argentine hosted the dofiga of the German Navy after the Navy), which was absolutely not a comilfo (they were simply confused - the permanent members of the Soviet Security Council were brought up, and already then all the others in the alphabetical), and the second - with Poland, which at the time of signing had two governments, and it was unclear on behalf of which of them to sign. And Pride says:

51 countries signed, but 50 signed. Everyone except Poland. Poland had not yet...

And I thought, and how can we explain the whole situation, or maybe we shouldn’t go deeper at all, well, such a Mhatt pause was shorter.

And who’s his left-handed bumped me not to close the bakery, but to lick “Hands?”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110245
 05.03.2015
She came from the village, graduated from the university, rose up herself, lived at the filming, but did not struggle. Economic, beautiful, smart, reasonable...
It is ===
This wonderful girl has an offgenic complex of inferiority, killed by her caring relatives, drinking mother or beating dad. I know a lot!Excellent girls who are ready to lick a guy's legs and endure rudeness and shame, because they do not have an educated sense of self-worth and love of themselves. They do not value their beautiful qualities and constantly consider themselves to be guilty... and men are happy to be cattle.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110244
 05.03.2015
XXX: What is evolution? If you take the average age to produce offspring for 25 years, only 80 generations have changed in the last two thousand years. Well, since the time of the last Neanderthals (28000 years) it turns out to be 1120. if you compare with the structure of DNA and the theory of probability, it is a drop in the sea. We are still the same monkeys. And when you look at some, it’s very noticeable.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110243
 05.03.2015
here here :
– – – –
When girls leave the office for half an hour or an hour, they don’t take their cell phones with them.
It is...
What is it? A bad habit is to tap into the phone every minute. And to leave it for an hour - two is normal and right. Nothing will happen in an hour. Will they declare war? What can happen in an hour? Not responding to the phone call of your spouse/boyfriend every hour? And to explain that she/he has already really caught you, religion does not allow? In the guests you can not fail to chat on the phone, talk and communicate learned.
--------
You just didn’t encounter the situation when the man left the phone and went out, and everyone around you is listening to the dumb monsoon of call every minute...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110242
 05.03.2015
They made films about sociopaths. And now every owner of a set of conventional complexes makes diagnoses for himself, and also thinks it’s cool. Can be swallowed

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110241
 05.03.2015
xxx> And now a moment of upheaval on our channel.
xxx> Without a doubt, many have seen advertising "weight loss, ceased to be just one product". We revealed the secret of this product: it is an acetylene ice cream! O_O
To begin with, acetylene freezes at a temperature of minus 84, which is filled with deep cold burns in any contact with it. Second, it is not absorbed by the human body.
But if you are the Snow Queen with alien enzymes, carrying out its vital activity at minus 84 and digesting acetylene - here you are in danger! The fact is that a kilogram of solid acetylene is more than a thousand times more calorie than a kilogram, for example, olive oil (which is, for a moment, almost pure fat).
Avoid ice cream made of acetylene – and the perfect figure is guaranteed!
xxx> thank you for your attention. = ^ ^ ^

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110240
 05.03.2015
Reader: My, by the way, as a child, in the TV went and got electricity. I read him a lecture that it should be - it will knock on electricity if you go to the TV. After a few minutes, he approaches and declares that if the TV is turned off, then the electricity from it does not hit, and he has checked it!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110239
 05.03.2015
As always the original:
Don’t miss the opportunity to get a bonus of 6,000.0 minutes! Make one payment in the amount of 270 rubles and above until 05/03/2015 and it is yours.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110238
 05.03.2015
In short about sociopaths.
Fashion on them went because of a couple of films where such guys are allegedly represented. But as the main characters, they have strong positive traits that outweigh the negative. Aggression, greed, contempt for others, cowardice (yes, from self-love) and others are reduced by directors and authors to moderate values, which only adds charm to the heroes, making them more cynical.
In fact, sociopaths are geniuses. Most are truly sick people who are honestly (and fairly) considered to be ended muffles.
In the series, the sociopath of Cumberbatch-Holmes very sweetly despises Watson. A real...pat would have dropped the doctor in trouble, at least for the sake of indirect evidence. Or Lenny. He would not have understood what was so bad.
and short. Do not try to parody sociopaths - it will not work out, and the egoist in you (us) is seen without any effort. and ;))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110237
 05.03.2015
A Buddhist tankman from Buryatia, who burned in a tank in Donetsk, gives an interview. Who gave Pelevin so much power over reality?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110236
 05.03.2015
..."Due to bad weather in Moscow declared the "orange" level of danger"
Please explain,
"orange" - is it very scary or can you drink tea while?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110235
 05.03.2015
Novosibirsk news for today:
World of Tanks fan built a 20-ton tank from snow
Tram No. 13 lost its wheels on the Gusinobrodsky Highway
Police dog reveals theft of washing machine
A resident of the street of Leiden made a video about the sewage blockade

I live in a fucking city.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110234
 05.03.2015
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! to
XXX: She is still talking.
XXX: I cheat her, and she meu
xxx: she has, do you see there are good arguments to grind in the middle of the bathroom!

[ + 26 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110233
 05.03.2015
- The bullets were different years of releases!
They shot everyone who passed the bridge.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110232
 05.03.2015
I read the article "Life and death of spermatozoa" - this would be a crazy movie to take!!! Directly in action!! With billions of bodies and one winner)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110231
 05.03.2015
Family happiness is when you are understood, but not to the extent to be found.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110230
 05.03.2015
It was three years ago, then the cheapest vodka cost 89 rubles, and remembered - this is why.
I was driving on the route Moscow - St. Petersburg in February, it was wet snow. From the counterfeit fur my "Volkswagen" gives a melting cabbage, as it happened, ends up in the dishwasher tank. I stop at the grocery store, pretend that a store or barrel with car liquids will not be there for a long time, take the two cheapest bottles of vodka, obviously burnt, pour them into the dishwasher. In the cabin from the hot engine immediately made light vodka ambre. But here he, a native haishnik, a senior sergeant, checks the documents, smells:
Have you drunk?
I had to climb out, pull out my hands, open the cap and the dishwasher’s tank, and the smell of heated vodka from it across the entire district. For the force:
Three bottles of water!
He is:
Didn’t your hand shake? It is cool!
He moves his hat from his neck to his forehead.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110229
 05.03.2015
Judging by the state of the Ukrainian budget, Yanukovych steals until now.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna