bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101518
 07.08.2014
to this:
to this:

She sat and pulled tea. I pulled half a glass. I laid the table and the norm fell on me. Without much emotion, he took his towels and started wiping out. I went after the towels. I sit, wipe out without any emotions, I think: "Here is the power of green tea with mint - spilled and calm. Shed coffee - would be excited and angry".)

Green tea has more caffeine than coffee, so it’s not about drinking, it’s about a good nervous system.

And I think this is a matter of humor and sarcasm, concepts that you, unfortunately, are unavailable)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101517
 07.08.2014
X: Do you have a loving dream?
A: Of course there is!
X: What is it?
Conquer the whole world!
X: Does the harry not crack?
A: Not even the eye.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101516
 07.08.2014
My mom is eighty years in a couple of months. Has mastered a little wind - skype, yandex-googl-panorama, news, weather...
He asks – there are some “tables”, what to do?
I answer - the "table" is closed with a cross, usually in the upper right corner.
Mother, a teacher of a very humanitarian discipline, asked: - the cross as a "plus" or how to "multiply"?
Here is she!! The eternal problem of the struggle of programmers with accountants!!!! The Christians are different!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101515
 07.08.2014
The other day, the dog also walked. by Walk. The transition! And I had a decent speed and I hit her, like - I can't have time to stop. The dog snubbed and I think, well, I touched the mind at all. And the dog heard, and, attention, stopped! People would be smarter than this dog!
— — —

To give way to a fool who does not stop before a pedestrian?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №101514
 07.08.2014
You are all mentally ill and are not treated! One I am healthy, in a white coat I sit, beautiful!"(psychiatrist from задолbaek)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101513
 07.08.2014
Find on the Internet a person who is mistaken, gather all your will in your fist - and do not answer him anything.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101512
 07.08.2014
The Americans surrounded the heights in the jungles where Vietnamese partisans hid. They scream:
Vietnamese people, give up!
In response to the scream:
The Vietnamese do not give up. Kowaljenko, the projectile!"

A little later:
The "Afghanistan There are two Afghans sitting in a barracks, one spilling wine, the other cutting saliva. Suddenly an insurgent runs out of the bushes. Salorez grabs the machine and cuts it. The wine:
Why kill a man, a good man?
and salary:
Don’t let our mountains of Afghanistan toppled!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101511
 07.08.2014
The Swimsuit 14966

"thin blades,... crazyly cut and rubbed. How do you resist this torture?"

I bought my own size clothes. ;)

In general, go to a sports store (although the same sports master if there is in the city) and don’t kick people’s brains.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №101510
 07.08.2014
What thing did you never buy when you were a child?
YYY is a gun.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №101509
 07.08.2014
Do you have Midi?
There is.
God, but where, oh, there is nowhere.
The Belarusians.
In Belarus...
The Belarusians.
15 Belarusian media.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101508
 07.08.2014
There is such a group on Facebook: "March for Federalization of Siberia" on 03.08.2014 number of participants: 413. Composition by regions:
Siberian Federal District – 25 people
Central Russia – 4
Kiev – 148,
Western Ukraine – 74,
Eastern Ukraine – 34
Europe and America 19.

Disturbances in Siberia:
Novosibirsk – 14 people
Omsk – 4
Tomsk – 4
Cameroon – 1
Barnaby – 1
Petroleum – 1

In the country of sincere Sibirians, аднаca!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101507
 07.08.2014
Martha read: Call: "I want to print an A4 sheet from you. Maybe a little bit better" Ele resisted not to answer that nothing more beautiful than A4 could be, but Dimka was outraged: "A4 is more beautiful than A3!" It’s twice as good!"

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101506
 07.08.2014
"And what, rap suddenly became music?"

No, but we haven’t had the rap yet :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101505
 07.08.2014
In a speechlessness. A commentary by a 40-year-old uncle under the photo, where the carapuz sits on the table and bites a baton. What he wanted to say, he only understood the next day:
"If the child was brought, can it not be fed"

Give to. Give to. Dare to go.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101504
 07.08.2014
In the Korean cuisine, it is not accepted to chew.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №101503
 07.08.2014
Day of the VVD, evening. On the shore, the individual bunches are celebrated quite loudly, and one such group celebrates quite annoyingly and obviously seeks a reason to "stand up" for the Motherland and invade the opponent. At first they tried to understand each other, but here a guy with a frigid appearance was very successful at hand: bright youth clothes, an independent look. The crowd quickly surrounds him, the usual questions - "and what is it with you, and how, what, why?" Finally, the main question is, “Do you know what day is today?” That was their biggest mistake! The boy without thinking loudly whispers like a machine gun: "Today is the 84th anniversary of the Airborne Army, counting back from the first landing of 12 landers at the exercises under Voronezh. The first commander of the Air Force is Vasily Filipovich Margelov, the distinctive form of the landers is the beret and the teal, the motto of the Air Force - "Nobody but us!“Glory to the VVD!” The crowd - in the cloud about (split) - how, the prey collapses and how it collapses. The young man repeated: “Glory to the VDV! With a celebration!” Appropriate more convicted calves, "Glory to the VDV!For VDV, brotherhood, peace in the world, friendship. A guy gets a bottle with someone; gets a bottle, spills, chokes. They all differ in their ways. As Suvorov said, “To surprise is to win.”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №101502
 07.08.2014
The female toast.
The traveler goes through the desert, the heat, the sun in the zenith. He sees a man lying on the sand, dying and complaining:
Water is...
The passenger was sorry for the last drops of water left in his bottle, did not give, went on.
How long he walked, how short, but his conscience woke up. He returned, and the man was already dead.
So let’s drink for giving when you ask, not when you want to give, but to no one.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №101501
 07.08.2014
-No, well, if among the men of our age there is only "non-liquid", then we have 20-year-olds!
You know, the problem is that the 20-year-olds are no longer starting.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101500
 07.08.2014
Yesterday I saved my garage.
XXX: Check the fire extinguisher
Where did it burn?
xxx: behind the garages, from the side of the driveway, the tires were lit in 3m from the garages...
The fire in the garage went on.
XXX: The fire extinguisher does not work.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101499
 07.08.2014
Professor of Psychology David
Rosemary held
An interesting experiment.
He selected eight.
The normal people,
They all turned to
psychiatric clinics, such as "concerned about
and mental health" all
They talked about themselves and their
The Truth, Except
One detail – they supposedly hear.
The voices speaking
"Empty","Deaf", "stitch". All of them
Doctors thought they were mentally ill.
They were all directed to
The clinics.
None of the doctors knew that
They are completely healthy.
After publication of the results, all
The clinics put them under.
I doubt, stating that such mistakes are impossible.
Rosemary repeated.
The experiment says it will
There is another number of them.
Imaginary sick people.
Clinics are careful.
Diagnosed in 193
41 patients were treated.
Diagnosis of "pseudopathic"
In fact, the professor is not
He sent none.
of man.

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