Officer: You will have to get up at five o’clock.
I usually wake up by noon, but I make myself sleep before five.
––––
How do you spend P?
40% for food, 30% for housing, 30% for clothing, 20% for entertainment and unforeseen expenses
It is 120%
That is the problem :(

A little sick, I measure the temperature with the usual mercury thermometer. My husband told me one story:



When I was a kid, my grandfather sold “liquid robots” in light bulbs. All the boys after watching Terminator wanted to get such a robot. One of my friends bought a box, everyone was jealous of him. I asked him to play with the robot, brought it home and proudly showed it to his parents. Such lullos as then, for the "liquid robot", I have not yet caught up...

A great idea for a tattoo. I’d rather like something functional, like RFID (seems to be) from a subway travel card to touch the turniket to open)
dead.pihto: And once a month a new fill.

We lie down with a girl before going to bed, look at the telephone, I notice that her leg is pulling out of under the blankets, then the dialogue:
I: And you too in childhood, when you were still very young, thought that if you do not hide the whole body completely under the blanket, then someone will come and definitely do something with you, and under the blanket, felt like under a powerful protection?
She: (thinking a little) And I think so now and hiding my foot under the blanket...

XXX - My Smoke from School to Military Command Hunted
with all the parallels. He distinguished me again.
YYY – What else?
He decided that I should go to the state service.
YYY – What’s wrong here?
There is need for service in the army.
xxx - Imagine, they built all these 16-year-old lobotras before the commissariat, and he asks them a rhetorical question:"Well, eagles, do we want to serve in the army?"
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! to
Ohhhh guess it! And my and another, likewise wise – "Daaa!"
YYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Oh well, so all who "no" - to the medical commission, and these two to the psychiatrist.
YYY – Are you joking?
xxh - We were also given an agenda - "To appear with my mother".
I’m sitting there, curling the agenda, and I think I’ll be told by an interesting psychiatrist next Wednesday.

The older son asks the younger:
Who is the strongest in your garden?
– Of course the teacher! – replies Fede.

I love this advertisement on TV. Like your grandfather liberated the world, your father defended the world, and what will you do? They perform computer dances. No one has ever cheated on the gamers.

To the question of who women are looking for: I don't know what projects of total enrichment worry the minds of other ladies, but for myself I can say that the presence/absence of a "account-machine-apartment" is generally secondary, and it doesn't matter. Unmarried, adequate and with a healthy sense of humor. And the whole story...

When they were going to buy an apartment, they looked secondary in a certain area. There is an ad where the apartment in all parameters is the same as the others, but significantly more expensive.

We enter. Grandmother's option is clean, but the repair was done 15 years ago at best, and most likely - a quarter of a century in general. You have to put everything down to zero and do it again. When asked why this price, we were answered with a blue eye: you can immediately remove all the partitions and make a great studio, it is possible and prestigious! So, we say, you haven’t done it yet, why did you include it in the price?

For the first time in my life, I was called a greedy bastard.

My cat has found an alternative to flat TVs. She sleeps on the Wifi router, which stands on the window.

I recently sat with a girl in a cafe and we were about to leave, as a beggar approached us with the intention of pressing out a little money. I try not to do so, as I read a lot of stories about this kind of divorce, and I myself was a witness to how the paralyzed fell on the grace of God - he stood up and ran away, because the working day was over and his tram came.



The beggar realized that he would not like anything from us, switched to, forgive me for the rudeness, an African American sitting nearby. The African American decided to come too and began to speak in English that he did not understand him. And then there was an unexpected turn - a beggar in very good English began to rub him about his difficult, hungry and dangerous life.



My surprise was replaced by sadness and disappointment, as I realized that the beggar spoke English much better than I did.



P.S The Negro did not give him any money either.

I work in a psychiatric hospital, in a compulsory treatment department (read prison for those who cannot serve a real sentence in prison due to mental illness). We "treat" a couple of debilities (mental retardation in the debility stage). One is 16 years old - Valera, the other is 50 years old - Vanya.

I sit with the nurse at the post, the dumb Valer approaches us and asks:

Is it true that there are magicians with magic sticks?

Recently, they were brought to the department to watch Harry Potter. He does not know about it and says to him:

“Valer, you’re 16 years old and you still believe in all the nonsense. Who told you that?

by Vanya...

Go tell him there are no magicians with magic sticks.

I understood.

Valera leaves and comes back a few minutes later. M asks him:

“Well,” said Van, “there are no magicians with magic sticks.

I said.

What did Vanessa say?

P is a cattle.

The real insult is not when you say to a person, “I’ve gone naked, trichomudlyan horse in the ass of a dude, but when you say, “Your point of view is fundamentally wrong, colleague, but I’m not going to waste my working time on charitable explanations of such elementary things, although I will be interested in watching your work.”
Fortunately, the intelligence of most people is not enough to understand this.

And the king said to him, “You are cries, I cannot take you to war.”



The warrior said, “O Lord! I don’t understand, do you recruit soldiers for fighting or for fleeing?”

Today, the guy in the router made a compliment, "Girl, you have such a mysterious smile all the way, I looked and admired." I told him nothing and left. No, what will I tell him? That after the dentist, my face is numb and that if I open my mouth, saliva will flow!

Children do not remember words, they remember actions. If you read the child a lecture for an hour, and then mourn before him, he will only remember how you mourned.

by Armene Jigarhanyan

It’s hard to correct the brains of those who think the ass.

Joseph of Egypt

Is there an ideal crime? For many years, writers have been thinking about this idea, and murderers too. Some even managed to implement this idea. Take the case of Howard Green in London.
Green was a modest rapist, respected in society. He kept a diary that police found in his own home. In his diary, he analyzed 14 ways of killing his wife, to whom he had a deep secret hatred.
Some of the ways were ridiculous, others bold, one or two really brilliant. But what Green realized immediately was that the main danger to crime was not the ability to investigate facts in the past, but problems that could arise in the future.
Every alibi contains an element of lies that, if you try, can be revealed. Green concluded that the only ideal murder is not that which remains uncovered, but that which is uncovered, but with an unfaithful criminal.
In the end, not he kills her, but she kills him. One day she found his diary and stabbed it with kitchen scissors. The jury, shocked by the reading of the diary, considered the murder as self-defense and admitted the widow innocent.
Why is this an ideal crime?
Recently, it was discovered that the manuscript in the diary did not belong to Howard Green.
The diary was written by the lover of his wife, a carpenter of art.

Whoever wakes up early serves food.
The Cat’s Wisdom.

Let us take the beast out like a stranger!
YYY : Hm How do you imagine it?
XX: We will cross the different species until we get the desired result.
YYY: And with whom do we start?
XXX is with us!
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Oh well you!