bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108445
 22.01.2015
to this:
When something hurts and I don’t know why, I go to the doctor.
xxx: when something"s hurt" at the comp, I go to the programmer
Hello, I say I don’t have a computer.
xxx: and I get a genius phrase: "and why?"

and
Probably because you’re asking a genius question. You don’t just say to the doctor, “Hello, I have something hurt,” but you clarify what, where and how.
I'm a girl, I don't know the technique, so I always tell you what happened to my comp, phone, reader. I have never been asked "And why". Learn to formulate questions.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №108444
 22.01.2015
The ancient Africans did not know about the existence of Jews, so they blamed evil spirits for all their misfortunes and failures.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108443
 22.01.2015
A friend after the sale of the car did not take off, came a fine, no insurance, no money. He tells me -" well, I understand myself an adult, free man, I will always find money", takes the phone, calls -" Allo maaaaaaaaaaam"

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №108442
 22.01.2015
I add :
I read somewhere:
All men are divided into three categories.
1st Daenerys' ass is thick
2nd Daenerys' normal ass
Three John Snow is cute!"
and +++
4 is Who fucking are all these people?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108441
 22.01.2015
XXX: My seventh screw decided it was unreal and now insisted on replacing it with a license. It would be nothing, but it is a license. As a result - updates are not loaded, the computer hangs like the last sickle. Who is to blame? How to upload updates without harming your health and wallet (paying a second time for a license must)?
YYY: That is what! In the eighth, I realized that it was a real...

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108440
 22.01.2015
One of the first comments to the news about the robot-avatar for the Russian army:
Skynet: Does anyone know where to find wood?and (

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108439
 22.01.2015
Yes, I was also very offended when I was a child, that the boys had interesting tools at work, and we had sewing, sewing and cooking...Maybe, some boy is looking eagerly at the sewing machine...But is it interesting, really sewing and cooking someone taught in school? If not, then you have to do something with the training program. In any case, to smooth the pants and, if necessary, to stretch the broken pocket is not less necessary to a man than a grandmother - to change the pad in the crane.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108438
 22.01.2015
This is:

Strange creatures these women, thickness in kilograms measured...

and men measure the volume in grams, and nothing)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №108437
 22.01.2015
What is the black box in the plane?

There is a different hernia.
The part writes the parameters of flight (how different aircraft systems work), such as:
OOOO 80 %
AAA standard
and ZBS
Parts write conversations of crew, such as:
What a cute ass with this stewardess!
I don’t advise you, she has a mandala.

XX: Thank you, very informative, especially "o-a-y" and "class ass". Can you describe the work of the curved-shutdown mechanism of the diesel DWS?

See also: Nea I didn’t even have a diesel car.
But I suspect it is somewhere like this: Mr. Gir-gir.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108436
 22.01.2015
Girl, are you alone?
I am with ghosts.
and----
The correct answer:
So sorry then. I will not disturb you.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108435
 22.01.2015
Could the beds run for a while too?

___________
What did you think, Sasha?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108434
 22.01.2015
Therefore: men, cute, we love care very much and are ready to say thank you, to give threads for mood and good sex, but not when in response to care you need to wipe off the whole apartment from the consequences of care. Bring the matter to a logical end.

Commentary from a man. I fully agree and support. Care should be a concern, not an attempt to get even more tired ;)

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108433
 22.01.2015
Brothers, we need help! You need to find a buyer for a small company (oil gas, telemetry), office in Nizhnevartovsk, staff of 75 employees, annual turnover of about one and a half billion rubles. The company is currently owned by a German company, which will close it if no buyer is found. The bill goes literally for days.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108432
 22.01.2015
I worked somehow in photo services "all-in-one"... once bring the file into mpeg4 convert under the old DVD player and write it to the disk. In short, the work of the current sea, to stay after closure to dozen - not a novelty. Already under the very curtain we remember the disk, the envelope, the recording. Check to see if it is registered. Starting out, there is porn.
A dialogue between the two photographers:
Who puts that light? All skin defects are visible.
UUU: you better look - Ikeevskaya bed, single-use. The lights from there.
Damn, fuck her with the bed. The reflector came into the frame.
WU: By the way, there is no mention of what was taken?
Where is "there"? But I will tell you so. This is the "fiveth second".
UUU: Hey, I’ve always been interested – do they write the sound immediately or do they sound afterwards?
XXX is immediately. with a microphone. It appears to be recorded on the stick.
UUU: Interestingly, they made the entrance screenshot in Ulead`e, but this transition, which just was, is not from the standard set.
XX: Probably it was proven. I found it on the net, then I will show it.
and STOP. Now the question is vital.
and xxx:?
WOW: All this shit doesn’t just excite me, it’s angry?
XX: I am only excited by the “fifth” of the above, and it is weak.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108431
 22.01.2015
Millions of years of evolution, hundreds of years of technological progress, dozens of computerization, and all for you to scratch your salary card.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108430
 21.01.2015
Yoshe4ka

I have bloody tears in my eyes turning from the headlines of the kind of “Top-10”, “5 tips”, “3 ways”, “100 reasons” and the like.

Darthslider

The shock! 100 reasons to read 5 tips on how to make the top-10 in 3 ways!
P.S No of SMS.

c) the habr

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108429
 21.01.2015
Sergey Ivanovich, who is a cat, and the toys are right, gentlemen - wine bars in an incredible amount, scattered across the narrow corners of the house. And the most beautiful thing is that it never translates.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108428
 21.01.2015
here here :
We motivate you with flowers, compliments, and you motivate us with matyugs.
– – – –
Everything needs to know the measure. A virgin who quarrels is a fool, yes. And to motivate and say "Thank you" need. But how often does a man cook and clean for himself? In my practice there were two men who cooked not only well, but better than me, and did it with pleasure. They cleaned the kitchen - what to clean there, washed the dishes and wiped the table with a cloth. And there was some number of friends who are preparing here in the option to show care once a year". Will they clean the kitchen? Do not laugh. They, proud of the accomplished feat, will joyfully bring their slightly crushed creation, will proudly serve and go to the computer. All of. You with tears of happiness and temperature in your eyes say, “Thank you, dear,” and then you collect the remaining strengths in a bunch and go wash the dishes until it dries, rub the table that has already dried, scratch the bark – like masking a scratched tableboard and wash the plate. Then wipe the floor because it’s wet. And when you’re just thinking about what you’re going to do, you don’t want to thank.
Therefore: men, cute, we love care very much and are ready to say thank you, to give threads for mood and good sex, but not when in response to care you need to wipe off the whole apartment from the consequences of care. Bring the matter to a logical end.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108427
 21.01.2015
06:37, 21 January 2015
Russian filmmakers ask for the return of the film
— — — —
Do you want to equalize the flow of mate from the room and from the screen?


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108426
 21.01.2015
Sherloked: I don’t want to wash the boiler.
Lorraine: I have to.
Sherloked: Give me at least one reason why I should do it.
Lorraine: A new form of life has already been born, probably intelligent. Given the furious pace of development, very soon they will expel parliamentarians and want independence, will attract the world public through the media, will call for tolerance, will oblige us to respect our customs and laws. First they will declare the kitchen their territory, and then demand compensation for years of ruthless extermination of relatives. They will proclaim a constitutional monarchy of confusion and expel us from the apartment. And while we are going down to the social bottom, they will get the right to vote and participate in the political life of the country. There will be a few weeks until humanity is enslaved.
Sherloked: I understood, I understood, I went to wash. But with the proud feeling that I am saving the planet.

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