bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108125
 13.01.2015
When configured servers with freebsd was difficult and not always immediately understandable, but here I encountered the phone from cisco, by the way, curvely cosy configured to me, then I realized that freebsd is easy and intuitive! CUCM is real evil!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108124
 13.01.2015
I look out the window, I see a man hurting the children, well went out to help. Word for word:
I - Let's really do so that the cars do not put on the field.
A thousand fingers in the tooth.
Yes, I have a white.
Meanwhile, the ment is driving on it.
I’m putting it there now.
I point to the side, and there I see a white foil.
I’m right, and as I don’t look out the window, I see all the mint on the tooth.
It’s like my toyota.
I fell into a stupor, standing silently, knocking my eyes, until my mouth opened.
Will you build a hill with me now?


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108123
 13.01.2015
My neighbor from the lower apartment all December complained that his Wi-Fi is forever braking and three times a week the electricity is cut off! A second for thirty or forty or so, and then it burns itself.

I was called by our new neighbor – grandfather, 72, Anatoly Grigorievich, also from the lower square (which moved in late November) to help him make a regiment for what to do there. I am what? I have agreed. He brought a perforator and went to work. For "living-was" asked why he needed this shelf and in this place. He just pointed to the box from under the router. I am so about myself - "Well, okay! My grandparents are trying!"

I finished the shelf, cleaned up, well, it is such a bubble "Standard" and it gets! The New Year is like nothing! We drank and talked to him.

In general, it turned out that Grandfather was a former communicator and programmer of Soviet hardening! And regardless of age, it is better than any modern hacker! He needed a route to break W P S 2! And while she wasn’t there, he was on the web and W P S riding.

And he gave me - to my neighbor, Vityka! The Rostelecom! The old puppy! Well, I shouted her first! I thought – enough for now! This guy bought a shit router! I see, there is no inertia. I had to go out to the shield. Reload it yourself.

Now even how scary it becomes... It would have to be from the computer... Some photos... Remove...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108122
 13.01.2015
Judging by rising prices, domestic goods are produced abroad.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108121
 13.01.2015
What do you do for a girl while she’s not a wife? :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108120
 13.01.2015
The ovarian.
Let the bead multiply and bear fruit. Think yourself that nobody needs intelligence, polite and sensible people who have a sense of self-irony, you will not swallow the brains with evil cotton/hochlo-fascists/pendos/Jews/Nigers/Mexicos/Hachas/Cossacks (if you do not indicate anyone blame). And then the politicians will have to be held accountable for their actions before the people, and so shouted to the crowd "bey pederasses!!And he sent them to fight for the idea of world peace, and he sat down to eat.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №108119
 13.01.2015
From the Hunting Forum:
I went fishing after the snow. I picked up a little jeep. Then the bath, a couple of feet, we sit "men". The women went to the bathroom... the youngest - 3 years old. Well, as usual, we share myths about who, when and how skillfully overcame the roadless.
X: We were once on the buchanka under Tosto blablabla..
Y: And I was at Sakhalin in Taiga in November.
z: Fule Sakhalin, here we have a bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.

The little one sat, listened and listened... And, during the next pause: "And I...And I! And I can write with my eyes closed!"
The next drank silently, realizing that the shirt had done everyone.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108118
 13.01.2015
If you’re so upset by the charts, why not just take and... buy another newspaper?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108117
 13.01.2015
The size of the bust
Bild: American sociologist Iwon Rossdale, having compared data on the size of the breasts and data on the level of intelligence of 1,200 of his countrymen, came to the conclusion that full-breasted women are smarter. “I’m uncomfortable to admit this,” says Mrs. Rossdale, who wears only the size of “A,” “but we’ve actually found that full-grown women have a higher IQ.” The women who participated in the study were divided into five categories according to the size of the underwear they wore: very small, small, medium, large and very large. They were then asked to perform the same standard intelligence test. Surprisingly, the most luxurious participants performed on average 10 points better than women in the "small" and "very small" categories. Even participants with medium-sized breasts, in general, had 3-4 points of advantage over their flat brown counterparts.
Experts cannot explain why women with large breasts have higher intelligence. After all, some men perceive full-breast female representatives of the weaker sex rather as "polls", which are especially suitable for joint entertainment.
Rosdale: Even if a woman explains Einstein’s theory of relativity to a man, it doesn’t matter if he looks at her decounter as if he were stuck, he won’t be able to remember anything she said. In his memory, she will remain sexy, but stupid.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108116
 13.01.2015
d: Can you simultaneously treat hemorrhoids by putting candles, and treat inflammation with vaginal suppositories?
M: Dubble Penetrashn? You are a shallow...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108115
 13.01.2015
Comrade thinks that dissertations teach! What a freshness and immediate! I learned 120 pages. The candidate of science! Beautiful what it is! And in general - jumped out of the Lenin library any tomic painted, things!
By the way, when I was scheduled for a dissertation, the Secretary of the Scientific Council dropped his feet and spoke that this darkness in the walls of our honey would not tolerate... and when I came to the pre-defense, I was warned that if he would throw the work out in the corridor, so that he would not be upset... and he looked at the pictures (and there were many pictures!And he said: "And the work is interesting".

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №108114
 13.01.2015
We feared that the sanctions would have a bad impact on the range of grocery stores. But now I go to Magnet and see that the number of delicacies has only increased. Cheese, mushrooms and eggs.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108113
 13.01.2015
I bought a battery in my laptop yesterday. Then the company collapsed, the turn came. A specially trained man, who goes to the warehouse for the goods, was very busy with something and the people waited for him for 40 minutes. But not about that talk. Finally, it broke, he brought everything to everyone, another man makes orders - the process went. Now is my turn:

You are 900 thousand. Tell me your name, please.
Amy – Ball
A man kills in the base and with an indiscriminate face:
A polygraphic photographer? So you have purchased it before, you have a 5% discount.

I should have seen those faces in line.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108112
 13.01.2015
Vitaly Klitschko: Green water in the houses of Kievans is completely safe

ƴǷҔѦȠ - This is what it is.
Dom.900 - Waiting for the Appearance of Reptiles
MacHine MacHine – What to Expect? Look at their government.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108111
 13.01.2015
So what guys? Dare to wear two cravates?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108110
 13.01.2015
Husband decided to test voice search on tablet without "Ok, Google"
-"Google where am I?"
What do you think you got in response?
- "Why I am an idiot"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108109
 13.01.2015
Habrahabr

“Are you on vacation abroad?” – “No” – “Are you on snowboard?” – “No” – “Are you in good restaurants?” – “No” – “Are you in fitness clubs?” – “No” – “Well you get a good salary?” – “No” – “So what kind of guy are you then? You are a coder!”

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №108108
 13.01.2015
Well, your kids didn’t do it around you to not breathe on them and on you. It is your task to protect your child and not to disrupt the comfort of passers in line, in transport, etc. A child is the same person as an adult, why are you demanding privileges for him? What does your child say to those around you, so that they almost don’t see you fall in a wheelchair? It is difficult to operate with a wheelchair - buy a sling, you will be more mobile, and more compact, and faster. There is no excuse for shame. Whether you are a mother at least four times is the fault of your maternal instinct, not your late passing uncle.
Mother of a year old daughter.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108107
 13.01.2015
I read SMS from the cellular operator: "Balance less than 30 rubles./All songs of Stas Mikhailov for free for 15 days!" The first thought is a figase threat! O_o And only then I see the word "connect" and I understand that it is voluntary...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108106
 13.01.2015
You get me into Google with your Trurls and bring me to Wikipedia!

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