I watch a TV movie "Big Change", a 15-year-old son comes in, looks at 10 seconds and asks:

Was this film shot in the last century?

After the stunt, I was able to answer:

Yes, son, in the last century.

And funny situation, and sad, fucking

I remembered how they were sent to the military committee for analysis.

A young nurse before taking blood from a vein 15 times asked if I was not afraid of injections.

And then, the infection, the whole hand blew out, trying to get into the vein (a thick self). As a result, the classic "BabManya" reached three me and took the analysis from the first attempt.

It was not scary.

But when I caught pneumonia and I was given the usual most intra-pocket injections - the nurse also decided to stamp without sentiment in a vertical position. and hit. I got nervous, the redis is not good. His eyes darkened, shaken, but he did not fall. For the next five minutes, my throat could only make a “Y” sound. For the next three days I tried to curl away only when I saw her red hair in the hallway and demanded a curl exclusively in my shoulder. I was never afraid of injections, but the memory of that nurse still causes a nervous tremors.

Xxx: In the Volga region, we have a national chestnut, Russian, Tatar, Mordov and Chuvas villages stand in random order. Well, they went from our Tatar village to the Russian village to fight, some of them were offended there. But they were there waiting, prepared, attacked and marked. Our fast on the motorcycles and the hole... And one motorcycle did not turn, sadly to give up, and scary - father's. Here the persecutors came and said, “Have you hit, Tatarchon!” Again they fainted. They were graciously allowed to leave. He would be happy, yes, he says, My Ural does not start, Daddy will kill if he knows where he was going. The locals advised, sent one for their culibin, the other for a race. Then the whole night they repaired the moth, drank the self-driving, and poured it into the victim: “Song, Mama!” Then they pushed the motorcycle and finally started. The guy is still, twenty years old, in the shrinkage of the mysterious Russian soul - and dismissed, says, and drunk and the motorcycle repaired.

Yyy: South of Bashkiria, the vineyard of nationalities. We sent the Russians with the Tatars to the village of Chuvas, where they had to fuck. And there they are already baffled by the bafflers, well, we are baffled with the shout of our beats, we started baffling with the bafflers, and then we went and baffled all together - the Tatars, the bafflers, the Russians and the Chuvashis. And all because we are brothers, we will struggle to reconcile. We fought because there was no fun.

Take care of yourself, remember! You have one, you have no other.

I have a great-grandmother who worked as a teacher at school all his life. At the time of the described event, she was 92 years old (And now she is alive and fully fit! Always tight, careful, with a manicure. Beyond her face...

I was recently in the theatre. In the entrance, an old lady approaches me - gray, without teeth, with a barrel - and says: "Hello, Polina Abramovna! How pleased to see you!” I could not figure out who it was. It was my student, you know? ! to

There was a family party recently, we talked about everything. We talked, as is the case, about young people. Moth now young people drink as not to themselves, not even rotting, but in our time...

What grandfather skeptically removed his glasses and reminded his father how he came home in the first class in the new year and under the fight of curants began to pour vodka into a cup of tea. The overwhelmed grandfather had stretched out his hand to pick up the bottle, and his father struck it.

People are divided into two categories: some are able to survive, others are able to live!

Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was just a few feet from the finish, but confused the finish with the signs and stopped thinking he had finished the race.

The Spanish runner, Ivan Fernandez, stood behind him and, realizing what was going on, began screaming at the Kenyan to keep running. Mutai did not know Spanish and did not understand it. Understanding what was happening, Fernandez pushed Mutai to victory.

The journalist asked Ivan:

Elman Pashaev offered the authorities of Armenia for 11 million rubles to settle the conflict in Nagorno-Karabakh.

XXX is reminded. Afternoon call (right after lunch), the bomb in the collector went to a different world. They came, they were awful, wearing anti-gases, descended, the young employee somehow sharply increased anti-gas, and pasta appeared in the windows, it was a shit.

Why the anti-gas? They do not protect them.

Zzz: So that the macarons do not run far.

I met a single girl at work. That, the fifth, the tenth, came from the village, 20 km from the city. He lives in the city and goes to the village for a weekend with his parents.

Somewhere for a month "talk" and she invites to her village at a disco for the weekend. The night was decided by her friend.

I had a floating weekend and a non-normalized working day did not coincide with her schedule.

I got rid of all the worries closer to the night my phone to this was stuck with missed calls and text messages from the girl.

When I call you, I’ll call a taxi and go overnight.

Somewhere after half an hour arriving at the place, the taxi driver brought him straight to the club, called the girl again. A few minutes later, she painted before entering the club with her friends. It's a little sluggish, it's not acceptable to go to the club sober.

There was a small group of local people at the entrance. Looking at us with interest.

While I was talking to a friend, the group went out together somewhere at night. Here it would be to think about, but as they say hormones, youth, sometimes in general)

I went to the club and it didn’t take 5 minutes as my friend someone called and she went out.

In a few minutes, he comes in a quick step to me.

"We need to go away urgently, my former half-city has gathered, they will beat you."

Already on the street, I saw a crowd moving towards the club visually increasing as it approached. The lights stood on the way to the club on all the pillars, which is rare.

Someone from the crowd shouted, “Here he is, catch him!” The trousers were filled with bricks.

The only thing a girlfriend could offer was to run to the track and catch up on some sidewalk.

And I broke.

By feeling, I passed all school norms on running and confidently went to the master of sports.

Now, after time, it looks funny to me) But then I wasn’t laughing.

I was rescued by a taxi driver. He landed somebody and I just ran ahead of him at that moment.

The taxi driver, seeing me carrying with shaken eyes and the crowd behind me, instantly opened the door of the car and immediately sat down for the wheel.

When I got into the car, in a fraction of a second, I locked all the doors and shouted to the taxi driver, “Hunt you!

Two times it did not have to repeat, the taxi driver drowned from the place.

There were screams, threats and threats behind us.

I did not go to the village with her anymore.

I am now at a stop. There is a drunkard nearby. A girl passes by and leads a German Shepherd and a Spitz on the lead. The guy asks her:

and E! And what if your shepherd is this little dog you #bet?

The Virgin answered:

Your brother is born. The same incomprehensible pitch will work out.



and left.

In the line at the box, Magnet. My son and I (4 years old). In front of us in the line a guy rocks the phone and cries out loudly, "Fuck me!"

My son pulls my hand: Daddy, is this uncle stupid?

I: Why do you think he’s stupid?

Son: He says bad words that cannot be said!

The line is listening, I explain that uncle is just upset, and the words are not bad, ordinary.

Son: No, such words cannot be said! If he was upset, he could say something else.

I: Which of them, for example?

My son, for instance, is your son.

Sometimes a small adventure can raise the mood for a long time.

I am going home from building today.

Road without congestion 350 km

Somewhere about 3 days realized that "hunger is not a aunt" and went to the car park.

In the mask (naturally)

A few people - a pair of middle-aged businessmen in cravates, a couple of long-haul drivers (like Romanians or Bulgarians), a family couple of pensioners, a mom with a son aged 10-11, a decent look of a Negro and a sinful self (in the sense of me).

The actors are mother (M) and child (R).

R is black.

M cannot say so.

R is why?

M is offensive to him.

R is OK

Pause

R is me?

M – What are you?

R – What color am I?

M is white

Is R insulting too?

M is no.

R is why?

M – what “why? “?

Why is black insulting and white not?

Because they were oppressed before.

R – Who oppressed?

M is white.

Pause

R for a long time?

M is long ago. “?

R is oppressed.

M for a long time.

R – But do they remember?

Who “remembers”? “?

Are they... black?

M – You shouldn’t call them so.

Because it is “insulting”?

M is yes.

Pause

R – Do you remember that?

M is remembered.

R – What do you remember?

They were oppressed.

R is OK

Pause

Which color is not offensive?

M - red, blue, purple, white

Is black insulting?

M - Yes

R is black.

M is yes.

Pause

R and why?

M is so. He is not entirely black.

Everyone in the cafeteria, including the Negro, began to whisper, restraining laughter.

R and what?

The table is black, but it’s not that.

R is brown.

M – No, I can’t say that. The brown Nazis

R – Who is it?

They are bad Germans.

R – What did they do?

They oppressed the blacks. Not the black ones, but those.

The people in the hall start to shout with enthusiasm (including the Negro)

Are the Nazis bad?

M is yes.

R – But are they brown? How... this one?

M - No, they are white, but brown

R is white, but brown.

M is the color of their party.

R – What color of the party... this?

M – I don’t know. Maybe it is green.

R – Is it green?

No, of course he is black.

Here the hall begins to run out of laughter (including the Negro)

I mean, it is not black, but...

R is a Nazi?

M is NO!

People are already crawling on the floor (including blacks)

R – How to call it?

M is just a “man.”

R – I am also a man.

M and he too.

R is OK

Pause

R – How is it called?

M is.... The African

R is why? Did he come from Africa?

M - Yes

Negro (in beautiful German, but suffocating from laughter) - I was born here!

Pause

R is a mom? He was born here

People are already fighting.

And then he is European.

R is called so.

M is called by name.

R – What is his name?

M - I don't know

R – Ask me.

M ask yourself.

R (black) is not black, but what is your name?

The Negro - Julian

R (shockingly) - Mom, his name is Julian. Chinese in our class. The Chinese are insulting too.

M is NO!

R is why?

M I don’t know.

I’ll ask my grandfather tonight.

Yes, your grandfather will answer you!

I could no longer withstand.

went out.

The Negro also came out.

God, how we roasted with him outside.

xxx: Announcement of some new Swedish thriller (which is unlikely to reach hands):



“A sophisticated and intelligent killer, dissatisfied with the fact that the newspapers and television talk only about stupid reality show stars and internet celebrities, forces his famous and wealthy victims to answer questions from the school program, in case of failure – kills.”



XXX: I would have sent him donat, honestly.

The most strenuous thing when you think - what we are poor, I carry for my brother, or neighbors, Mom, Daddy don't buy anything, I don't give for ice cream cakes, for potatoes every week to grandmother ride on two buses to the village, work forever, help something...

And when you get thirty and you realize that you have already survived your father for three years, you suddenly realize what kind of child was then, how much your parents survived, so that you, ungrateful, grew up as a non-drinking, uncompromising man, received education and upbringing and all. And all - you are sitting on your ass with your softness and you are like a thunder, because there is no one to thank, no one to talk to as a man with a man...

It was at the end of zero. I was picked up with a Toyota diesel at the service. I provided spare parts myself. Purchased in Exeter. I needed a package, yes. The full set for some reason was not available, so ordered separately by nodes, or even batch.

I come to receive. Instead of a RC for the entire head of the engine, I get one pad. The dialogue:

I am sorry. According to this number in the catalogue listed dozens of items. Why only one came?

Everything is right. With this partner, there is only a patch under the head.

At this price, it is made of platinum. Secondly, open the catalog now with me and look at the scheme and the list of details included in this partner.

We open and look.

Well yes. The idea should be a set. Do you refuse to order?

by itself. I want the advance payment back.

Then we put you on the blacklist.

–...

I break my head, what is Putin for us if the current president of the United States is called “Putin’s puppy”?

The cartoon of Alexander Tatarsky about a man who went to the woods in search of a tree, for many years is an indispensable attribute of New Year's holidays. Today it is difficult to imagine why in the 80s the humor of Tatarsky was not simply not appreciated, and even did not want to release a cartoon on the screens. After accusations of Russofobia and ridicule of the Soviet people, the author was in a pre-infarct state.

Problems with censorship arose in Tatarsky during the work on the first cartoon - "Plastyline Varna". He was allowed to shoot it exceptionally – for helping to develop animated screenshots for the Olympics-80 on television. But when the cartoon was ready, it was banned from showing with the formulation “ideologically idle.” The situation was saved by Eldar Ryazanov and Ksenia Marinina, who at the time worked on the program "Cinopanorama" - in spite of the ban, they released the cartoon on the air. Furthermore, the recognized success of the animator was the plasticine screenshot for the program "Good night, baby!", which entered the Guinness Book of Records for the number of broadcasts.

Inspired by this success, Tatarsky took on the creation of a new cartoon – “Falled last year’s snow” by the script of Sergey Ivanov. There were even more claims from the censors. The author recalled: “This film was generally banned, placed on the shelf, and the formulations were much more disgusting. If “Vorona” is just an idyllic nonsense, then it is already Russofobia, bullying of the Soviet man. Because in the film there is only one hero, and he is Russian (he is in a hat, a man), and at the same time he is an idiot. The man seemed to them a fool and a fool, and the story was a laugh at the whole people. Places the cartoon had to re-sound and re-assemble.

Composer Grigory Gladkov, who wrote the music for the cartoon, explained the idea of the authors: "The power of the cartoon is that the character is shown. He’s such a dumb man, in fact he’s a normal, wise village man, and she’s his loving wife. If I didn’t love it, I’t run with a rock. He was running, looking and worrying. The man found the tree and brought it home, but it was already in April, and he brought it back. It is our whole life and our whole character so untouchable, but we build rockets, and we will hold the Olympics, and we still get it. We do everything with fun and joking. The most important thing is that the hero is an inventor, don’t let God live with boring people.”

Initially, it was planned that there would be no text in the cartoon at all, only the outcry of "Oh" and "Ah". But the management of the studio demanded to “explain this nonsense” and insisted that the plot be more specific. Alexander Tatarsky together with screenwriter Sergey Ivanov began to come up with replicas of the heroes. Many phrases from the cartoon, which then went to the people, had to defend with battle. For example, Kramola was seen in the phrase "Who is here, for example, in the king extreme? No one? So I will be the first!" in the replicas of the main character, the censors felt encrypted messages.

The problems continued after the film was finished. The actor Stanislav Sadalsky was invited to the voice, but his name had to be removed from the titles. The fact is that Sadalsky grew up in a nursery and tried all his life to find his relatives. In the mid-1970s he managed to find his cousin grandmother, who emigrated to Germany in 1917. When they finally managed to meet, Sadalsky for communication with a foreigner was forbidden to go abroad, and as a punishment his name was ordered to be removed from the titles of the cartoon. The audience immediately recognized his voice.

The paradoxical phrase “Last year’s snow fell” seemed to Tatarsky the ideal title for a cartoon with absurd humor, especially since this phrase he found a quite logical explanation – “last year” can be considered snow, which fell on December 31. Stanislav Sadalsky recalled: “All our absurd, fantastic film he built on one phrase he thought was brilliant: “Last year’s snow fell.” For a long time he tried to explain to me, “You understand... zero hours, zero minutes. There is no past, no future, no present. There is time, there is world. Everything is frozen. And the snow is coming... Last year, you know?”
As a result, the cartoon "Falled last year's snow" still came out on the screens - on the eve of the New 1984 year. Later it became a recognized classic of the Soviet animation and one of the most famous works of Alexander Tatarsky.

During the discussion of the final musical theme, the animator asked composer Grigory Gladkov to write a penetrating melody: "Error, the cartoon is funny, but at the end there must be a sad melody. It should be like Fellini, it should be very fun, and at the end such a sad melody, under which we and you will be buried."

In 2007, the director died – at the age of 56 he stopped his heart, and, according to his will, the funeral sounded music from his most famous cartoon.

Putin has been in power for 24 years.
Matvienko is 22 years old.
Lavrov is 26 years old.
Shoigu is 30 years old.
Medvedev is 20 years old.
Kudrin is 24 years old.
Patrol is 21 years.
They will lead Russia to prosperity.
Just as they had too little time.
We have to endure.