bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104884
 31.10.2014
<...> Yes, scaned and recognized also Sisadmin - "This is the same work with the program!"
=========
And a fool. Has he nothing to do?
With us, Sisadmin would have taken a service (and he, to be honored, is very skillful in the artistic sense of the word), after which two things would have happened instantly.
1st From the secretary’s salary would be deducted the cost of the Finrider.
2nd A accountant who refused to work with the program would be transferred a few steps below the position as not able to work with a computer. If they were not expelled at all.
Or maybe 3. The entire accountancy would be assigned a test on this skill.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104883
 31.10.2014
Why are all the social networks full of photos of weddings, but none of divorce?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104882
 31.10.2014
On Halloween, I will wear a ruble costume, drink and fall all night.
Yyy: Cook option, dress with a two-headed eagle. Drink and get up from your knees.
zzz: The main thing is that when you get up from your knees, no one is dressed in the back of China.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104881
 31.10.2014
asked me to give up for the repair of the school (even not the class) not a lot (300 rubles), but this is a matter of principle, I ask "My Daughter What Broke in the School?" answer "NO", I ask another question "A TO DO OBLIGATORY?" again "NO",and immediately start pressing for regret,mole director makes all teachers collect money from parents,I offer my help in the form of applying to the prosecutor's office for illegal actions by the director,and I ask to speak as a witness, the teacher lost the gift of speech from my anguish apparently.... no more money is asked and the statement to the prosecutor's office was asked not to write,because the director saw the age and soon retired him

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104880
 31.10.2014
First week at a new job. In the process of work, I crush the fruits brought from the donation. On the table an open bag, the bones are placed next to the paper, everything is visible. I propose to cater to the approached boss, literally: "go cater to a boarishnik". In response, he looked at me for a long time with disapproval and then said, “I can’t, I’m driving.” Not a rabbit? = is

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104879
 31.10.2014
We discuss the path:
Everything had to fit in the backpack. 26 with kilograms. And yes, I call it rest.
It reminds me of the easy reading of Hermione Granger.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104878
 31.10.2014
The news:
The famous Russian businessman and banker Oleg Tinkov, head of the bank “Tinkoff. Credit Systems,” publicly stated about his homosexuality following Apple CEO Tim Cook.

The commentary:
This has already been seen in the bank’s policy to impose its services.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104877
 31.10.2014
xxx: Scuchi, and they have an admin password of six stars! I blew up when searching for all the passwords storage, why not disclose the hidden symbols!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104876
 31.10.2014
to this:

If a woman in her 30s looks like she’s 18, don’t talk to her like a 18-year-old. I don’t know what is incomprehensible here.
and ---
In general, no one has the right to talk disrespectfully to you even when you are 18 (not a man, right?Not even at 30. I need to send such a message and that’s all. Everyone has their head on their shoulders, and you can’t allow any life-offended nonsense to talk to you in such a tone.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104875
 31.10.2014
Package with packs
Box with Boxes

I have a mattress standing, don't mess with mattress

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104874
 31.10.2014
How do I tell my husband that I am pregnant? He expected one
yyy: Tell him "Your expectations have been met by 300%"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104873
 31.10.2014
Time is ruthless to women, and men are even more ruthless. 30 years is a young and fresh lady... 40 years is experienced, but still good! and you are "tits, old ladies"... As if in this chat only schoolchildren. Simenon in this regard is good:"On the chair sat a young woman of 38";

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104872
 31.10.2014
He said he was a pedicure. This is as if in general, but the crowds of latent pidders began to crack about it all the way, and here is where to go for people who crack?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104871
 31.10.2014
DRB
Today my son woke up before me, put in toys, found a plastic hammer there and let us knock: on the bed, on the walls, on toys. I could not stand through a dream:
The bone! Knock on your head!
And I hear, a deaf man like this! and ah! And to me in response:
and Dad! You are bad!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104870
 31.10.2014
Specifically for TP:
People don’t know that there are 50 km deep under the ocean.
Mary: There can only live all kinds of bacteria.
This is one of the most important things in the world.
At a depth of 50 km under the ocean, hot magma plays and only fantasy lava dragons and salamanders can live there.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104869
 31.10.2014
During the time of unshakable youth, the boss had a counter-secretary, a man-hater...And here we went to the sex shop with the thought of buying her something to do on March 8...)) we were advised, such a small rubber grain of a thistle, which when getting into the water environment grows to quite decent sizes and has the shape of a male reproductive organ....And here, together with the flowers we put it in a vase with flowers and with a calm conscience went around the houses....And the secretary, in order to bend before the boss took this vase to the boss in the evening. In the morning, the boss came to work, with horror discovered the leaping out of the vase... the secretary was fired in 5 minutes.)))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104868
 31.10.2014
Now, having iPhones has become not a puppy.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104867
 31.10.2014
Sasha: How are you there?
I drink tea
Sasha: I too
It is only beer.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №104866
 31.10.2014
I’m looking forward to the invention of a cigarette that paralyses a smoker’s legs for five minutes. That they should stand while smoking, and not run before me, smoking!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104865
 31.10.2014
If coping with a single child is so difficult, it is worth limiting itself to fish? Wait until you realize that no one, except those who voluntarily agreed, is obliged to you, and then to give birth and raise an independent personality?
-----------
If no one, except those who voluntarily agreed, is obliged to help a woman raise her child, which is generally right, then later that child also owes nothing to anyone except her own mother. Moreover, he is not obliged to leave a young wife with a baby in the army, which, in fact, a young woman complains in the original post. It is unlikely that the man voluntarily agreed to this - there are much simpler and more pleasant ways to leave a woman with a child. He wanted to volunteer for her. did not give.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna