bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108923
 04.02.2015
On the shore of a small seaside town, a beautiful woman sits on the bench. An elegant man approaches her and sits next to her. He looks at the sea for a long time, and then turns down on a woman. He smiles at her and looks somewhere away at the winding waves. A woman is pleased to have such a strong and calm man next to her, but she wants him to start a conversation first. But the man is silent, periodically smiling, then the woman, then the sea. Finally, the woman can’t stand and says:
How wonderful you are silent.
The man still smiles, but his smile becomes a little guilty. He gets a notebook from his pocket, writes something there and stretches a sheet of paper to the woman.
She reads and smiles. On the sheet is written:
Sorry, I am dumb, but you are beautiful.
The waves are unhappy about the shore, about something of theirs screams, and two people are silent and just smiling.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108922
 04.02.2015
Greece has a simple truth: if you owe three euros,
This is your problem, and if you owe three hundred billion euros,
This is the problem of the creditor.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108921
 04.02.2015
Palich: When I bought my first car in the winter, I asked a friend of sixty years old, learned by the experience of the former carpenter: "what else to buy from the additional and necessary things to the car?"
He, without thinking, issued: "First thing SPIZ@And at the palace of the spade."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108920
 04.02.2015
This is:

Samets, with a well-organized Dahl cave within the Garden. Two females have already rushed out "for the desire to allow the maximum amount of foreign, insecure members.
Preparing for the third flight. Here are idiots!
___________

Third you say? It is good that you have the ceilings high, or with such horns could be difficult... It seems to me that you have personal grills for the offensive with a beautiful engraving on a hanging pen.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108919
 04.02.2015
Thro my life, I have been taught to put dirty socks in the laundry by my father, mother, girlfriend, wife... And I taught the cat, because if he gets them, I have to go to the store for new ones.

- It is a pity that no one has learned to speak "put", and not "put";

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108918
 04.02.2015
He wanted to take the apartment this month, but his parents insisted that he waited a couple or three months and took a new one in a new house, they said, they will add.
I would have insisted so!
Q: What are they insisting on you now?
Wine, wine they insist on cherry. We are poor...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108917
 04.02.2015
Forums "Pets":

The question:
I bought a car, what next? Where are they all driving?
I bought a car 3 days ago, now where I went on foot, everything goes fast. Where do you usually drive, what would you advise?

The answer:
The case was in the early 1980s. We are at our garage cooperative. I, 10 years old, father and neighbor in the garage. The new "Troika" is coming out. The neighbor says: "Now there is a movie. Walk around the car, squeeze the cloth, pull the puzzles and drive back." Everything was so. The family walked a few circles around the car, the dad smashed the non-existent dust from the paint coating, the daddy herself shone no worse than "Lady", the boy turned around and inside, then pressed on the clayton, grabbed a simple backbone from the daddy and burst. After that, the father of a small but proud family family drove the car into the garage. The morality? These people just bought the car, because the turn came, and what to do with it next just didn’t know.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108916
 04.02.2015
xxx: Broke the channels, accidentally stumbled on the "House-2", at the bottom of the screen SMS chat, in it the message: "gentlemen, go in dot, I created". If you tell no one, they will laugh. Just here, anonymously.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №108915
 04.02.2015
My spat on a GMO fan. Look, for several thousand years, humanity has domesticated cows, goats, sheep and pigs, and successfully eats their meat and milk. Now as you look around, you read what people write, and you understand: genes - they are uneducated, did not go to school, with the foundations of biology are unfamiliar. And these genes of sheep, oxen and pigs managed to integrate into separate organisms of individual people. Contrary to everything, we put it on our science. All of you BOBRA MICHURINA! 😉 😉

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108914
 04.02.2015
To strange buffets that do not allow sharing portions.

And what about the classical student - we have a sausage and 10 forks?! to

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108913
 04.02.2015
aaa: I always distinguish myself from the insult of consultants with a short polite phrase "Thank you, I will look at yourself".

bbb: And I do it differently: when I see a consultant approaching me, I ask him, “Do you have anything to say?” and then he stays in a stupor, and I calmly look at what I need. and ;-)

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №108912
 04.02.2015
Tagged 16462
When the mom left the children without supervision for 3 hours of guardianship service and the police to call after the first hour did not understand? So you look and think about your offspring.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108911
 04.02.2015
With 4pda, about news "Google pays AdBlock Plus developers for ads"

by MW20060:
I don’t even know how to explain it to you... Piracy, ad blocking, theft are exactly the same thing. No matter what it is in the name of – theft is theft. It’s time to stop sitting on your mother’s neck and go to make money. Google ads are completely unobtrusive. He sits by no one’s side.

by Skit811
If ad blocking = theft, then the "unobtrusive banner" in the floor page + a pop-up background tab, striking the whole house "Are you ready for the attack? So go ahead!" what’s up to you? So AdBlock is a reasonable response to unreasonable advertising.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108910
 04.02.2015
I watched the Truman Show.
YYY: Is that where the whole city is a TV show around Jim Carrey?
XXX is yes. Something is striving for me now, I begin to think, not the actors around. What would you do if you found out that everything around you is a show with you in the main role, that everything is not real?
I would just stand and applaud for a few hours.
XXX Why?
YYY: Because if so many people around so talentedly portray idiots, they are worthy of applause.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108909
 04.02.2015
A girl pleased at the customs:
What is in the box?
The Amortiser
Open up
I opened *
What is it?
The Amortiser
Why Why?
For the car.
Okay, go on

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108908
 04.02.2015
Natasha Cat: Yesterday I understood that oral sex in the literal sense is when the husband was distracted from the "process" periodically screaming to the cat so that he stopped beating the curtains)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108907
 04.02.2015
The river in New York City is called Hudson, and the housewife of Holmes is Mrs. Hudson. Only the Russians know the difference.
_________________________________________________________________
The capital of one state in English is called Moscow, and the river in that capital is Moscow.
This is a widespread speech in various languages.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108906
 04.02.2015
I had four round legs.
My eyes of the colors of the stars burned the asphalt
I broke the wind when poisonous blood boiled in my steel heart.
YYY :?! to
Then the parents came back from vacation and took the car.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108905
 03.02.2015
This is:
Thro my life, I have been taught to put dirty socks in the laundry by my father, my mother, my girlfriend, my wife... And the cat taught me, because if he does it, I have to go to the store for new ones.

I had to learn to put.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108904
 03.02.2015
It is necessary to capture the thin edge of the variants “нах@j” and “on x@j”. There is an expression of “nah@j”. It makes sense “why?” Also, there is an interdomain of the same name, which is used simply to connect words in a sentence. “Wear a hat, or you will get a cold.” Unlike the nickname, “on x@j” should be understood literally. In any case, there is a verification word “in pi@du”. If you doubt how to write properly, replace “on x@j” with “on pi@du”. If the meaning has not changed, it must be written separately. If "nah@y" can be painlessly deleted from the text, then it is written together and is highlighted, nah@y, closed.

C Fishki

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