Recently friends came to visit, accordingly, without alcohol, the matter did not go. They sat down, drank, gathered and went on to the bar. I continued so that I don’t remember the end of the evening at all. I woke up in the morning, my head cracked, a little dumb. Well, I think it is necessary to entertain the people, to raise the mood with a very funny song from the megaphone advertisement (there is something about shish kebab singing in ancient tabor). Well, I’m going to mean to the note with the words – and now it’s going to sound a very fun song! As a result, I do not have time to get to the destination, as I hear the loud and clearly said choir in three heads :- I went to X. Y is!! I stand and wonder what the case is. It turns out, in the evening after coming home (which I naturally do not remember) I, with the words "and now it will sound a fun song!" turned it on to all the hearing...and listened to it 15 times in a row, not allowing anyone to switch it until he himself cut off...

Which cells do not divide?
Merron: The Jewish

Xxx: Please wait until Windows sets Yandex.Bar for Internet Explorer..."
Xxx: Fuck, I really get angry with every word in this post!

The best way to convince a woman not to test your patience is to make her experience an orgasm.

The veteran who was in the day when they were written, suddenly appeals to those who gathered:
I fought for three years. Before the attack, everyone was gathered in the first tranche. The faces of the people were devastated, in their eyes - condemnation, in their movements was fear. What otherwise? After all, now running on bullets, fragments, on mines... I am old and I have almost forgotten what these faces look like in reality. But now, when I saw the married men, I immediately remembered them...

I bought my wife a diamond ring. He hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks.
Why is?
That was a condition...

Windows and Linux are like a spoonful and Chinese sticks.
A spoon can eat everything, so most dishes are spoon-oriented.
but. If you learn to eat the sticks, then you are good, if you learn to eat the sticks of borscht - you are cool, and if in addition you still learn to pull the sticks of a special configuration, specifically under yourself, for the most effective execution with a certain set of dishes, then you are just excessively cool in your steep twist.

yyy works in Cyprus, sick:
XXX You will die.
You are in the RF.

When I fall asleep at a lecture, I fear only one thing: to crack in my dream.

The question of the managers. There was a time when the wife at work was looking for a chief executive (in department 2 employee - she is a designer and director of the department). To the reasonable question "why not make me director and take another designer?" followed a quite logical answer, which I remembered forever "If we make you director - then who will work it?". So, comrades workaholics, if you want a leading position - not to stress =) otherwise a well-working employee is unlikely to make a boss, or he will still work will cease = / therefore, the bosses are all (practically) duttles who can not work well and can not work well.

I was sick. I send my husband to the store and the pharmacy. I dictate him a list, commenting in detail on each item (that would not confuse anything).
2 bats of bread. In the store, they are always fresh.
Yes, the bread...
I am cabbage. This is only the name.
M- (recording) The Crabs...
I - in the pharmacy spray - I have a sting in my throat.
Spray from measles in the throat.

Hobober: Sometimes I get caught up with the idea that it would be okay to have the body of Brad Pitt. – Javier Bardem
He can be understood in two ways.

XXX: And this mouse is strange. When she wants to eat, she doesn’t scream – she begins to furiously lust) To touch me with my mouth in my feet, to lie under my hands, in my face... And to murmur, to murmur, to murmur.

Wow, she’s in the vibration mode...

The Zenit-3SL missile crashed into the Pacific Ocean
nn:Russian submarine grouping of satellites on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean))

The "end of the world" is not over! Lazy to go to the store, decided to open the bag, which the sister prepared for the occasion, but never disassembled. We found: 6 bins of olives, 2 bins of olives, canned calmar and chupa chops. Fuck, good that "he" did not happen!

Announced by:
- For a car BelAZ need two courtiers-Tajik.

Checking the mail through the web interface, I paid attention to the tiny advertisement of Yandex-Direct: "Buy a test scraping machine, other confectionery equipment, bla-bla-bla..." I remembered that the day before I looked at the Yandex market some products for baking. He went to the search engine of Yandex and scored in the search line of toxic poisonous substances strains of bacteria, immediately switched to the mail window and updated the page. The direct advertisement was also updated and issued: "February 9, the evening of the mud song" in Moscow, 19:00, the restaurant "Kalina Red". The stars are singing for you!
There is an artificial intelligence with a bright associative side and corrosive sarcasm. The future has already arrived!

Only in Russia, a person who has acquired a Windows license and an office home can be called a diva!

I wish the creators of all kinds of rapids and deposits there in the event of a nuclear war to wait a minute at the entrance to the bunker.

Very often tired of phone calls with questions
What kind of internet do you use?
Are you satisfied? How much pay? I.T.D
First I tried to listen, then I tried.
Respond, but they are hardened.
As if not culturally.
Throwing the phone is not beautiful either.
But one day, in one night, they called for the third time.
I had an idea. My answer was short "I don’t use a computer"
The operator was surprised but did not even risk continuing the conversation.
No computer no problem.