About Auto Replacement:
When he went to the army, they gave some cheap Alcatel with some tariff with a loud name "defender of the fatherland".
So it was worth writing 'Aga' - everything was okay.
But it was worth adding a point and the peaceful 'Aga' turned into the terrible 'Babelmandebsk'. I don’t know why. I checked everyone in the squad. If there are people from Alcatel, where is the logic?

@PrePersik All girls are familiar when you go in a shirt, and she rises under the shirt.. rises.. And here the shirt slightly hangs on your ears, and you go proudly with your naked ass to work

To this: Fuck, well who let this resource in.
Humanitarian (half of the quotes are ruined)
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Not humanitaries were allowed here, but fools with exaggerated stress, who manage to judge the correlation of gender and orientation of thinking with the percentage ratio of corrupt quotes.
A typical humanitarian.

Chibisuka: It’s good to be beautiful. Without makeup, I’m more like a 14-year-old boy sitting on drugs.

A wife asked a friend to choose a computer on the avito. I found a fine little barbecue, showing my wife.
XXX: She says she is a girl. She doesn’t need a small and laying computer, she needs a big and standing computer.

The fucking. I mean, I haven’t seen those 50 shades of gray and I won’t look at them.

Partisan150: I don’t go without jokes about sex.
Thus the tenacle in the fence,
I’ll show you Loli.

For several years I went to work at the same time on the same route. Yesterday I met an elderly lady with a taxi, which I usually see near the subway, a quarter away from the usual place. I say goodbye (we don’t know each other, but we see each other every day), she also says goodbye and immediately adds:

Don’t worry, you’re not late, we’re out early today.

to this:
Odmin technicians, cut your fat patls, shave off your goat beards and wash your socks with cowards, and only then chase the humanitarian.
V. Cats
===
Performing one meme - "I will then shave, and you will remain as stupid as you were";

He was the only one who treated Sharikov in a human way (although with his kicks).

Oh, just remember what he originally came to the professor - to pick up a living space.
He also said that the watchroom can be connected to the office.

Such a man will come to you and connect your living room with a toilet, but to the parasites living in the apartment will be treated humanly.

News "Discussions about the news about the perpetrators who cut off the plantation of 10 groves in the Astrachan region"
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I suppose they don’t like Jasmine so much, because they once asked Jasmine, and Jasmine didn’t answer them.

to this:
The female manager:

We are very important to your brushes, laundry clothes, diapers, baby shoes.
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Not a stamp. There are J / R who - give up work on time, or better a couple of days earlier, and scream that you have fifty other tasks in parallel, as well as borsches, babies, diarrhea and so on... Nifiga is not good, So bad loading, you have another fifth of new tasks... Delayed at work until late because of the loading? So, you organize your day badly and fool yourself on 55 parallel tasks... You’re late 5 minutes because you left at 12 p.m. for 55 tasks? Your problems, therefore, do not pull to this position... and so - the marasme strengthens to infinity...

Yesterday I washed my white sweater with black socks (((
What are the socks bleached?

From the discussion of the news about the new Spider-Man movie on one of the information sites.

X: They did not deal with these spider men.The first lacked brutality, the second lacked determination.Here, on the go, only Matthew McConaughey will save the franchise in the role of a spider man.

Y: The spider will only save Seresh Bezrukov :)

Z: Or, as an option, Kostya Habensky.

W: The spider man? It is original

My story was here...
One day I went to the store "The Cross", I needed a sweet pepper.
I approach the vegetables, there is a container, before which 2 different prices are attached: sweet red pepper 219 rubles, sweet orange pepper 179 rubles. tk. In the container were 2 varieties of red and orange pepper: pepper packaged and pepper dispersed, I read on the packaged - "red pepper" and I conclude that the dispersed pepper is orange pepper. I go to weigh.
The seller is a girl:
Do you want to help?"
Help me if it’s not difficult.
Weighing, weighing machine splashing check - "red pepper, price - 219 rubles/kg...". Why is it orange? Do not believe. I suggest going to see.
The lady in the trade approaches the vegetables... and with a light movement of the hand breaks off the price bar with orange pepper, nervously swinging it in the fist... I wonder what’s going on? Explains that it’s all red pepper, don’t you see, and orange is here, and points his hand to the neighboring container... in which lies a green with yellow veins pepper, and 2 labels with different prices before which they say – “sweet pepper green” and “sweet yellow-green pepper”.

The unsuccessful analogues:
I am not well. I have eaten too many hearts. and chickens.
And broke them?
Eggs are broken and hearts are eaten.

What if the partner is in a coma is necrophilia?
It is like a vegetable.
A vegetarian?
and raw.
The raw!

Man has gone through millions of years of evolution, and... God... what idiots we have become.

Suffering from a hernia
If you understand, there is nothing inappropriate in the word “her”. Thus was called in the church Slavic alphabet the letter "x", as well as any cross in the form of the letter "x". When crucified out unnecessary spaces in the text, it was called “to spoil.” The old alphabet with all the asas and bukes was finally abolished at the beginning of the 20th century, and the word "her", coming out of use, after half a century became synonymous with the short word on "x" (you know what). And at the same time, it seemed disgusting and a common expression with a similar root - "suffer from a hernia." Hernia in Latin means "hernia", and it is this diagnosis that good military doctors most often exhibited to the children of wealthy villagers who did not want to serve in the army. Every fifth resident in Russia at the end of the nineteenth century suffered from hernia (the peasants often had hernia not in their pocket, and they were shaved much more actively).

Can you advise me to read something?
Read “Our Father” while I read the correspondence on your phone.