Protecting against cabbage in the forest. The girl Tripinka summarizes the advice:
Yes... I can’t help consumers anymore because I summed up all the advice and got the result:
I go out into the woods, in a diaper for the case of taking Kamassutra's posture by a cowboy, behind the belt of a bullshit, soaked with the poison of a black mamba or curare.
In the basket - a supply of melted pepper, a bottle with gas, petards and an aluminum fork to tick the cockroach in the eye.
There is also a bell and a tie of keys from the apartment, to scare the cock with the sounds of iron about iron. In the back is a haubit, on the lafet - a gun with a syringe.
When entering the forest, the bushes in the course of the movement are treated with napalm, shot from a haubice and clogged with a knife.
If by a miracle the surviving cock still attacked me, I first apply the aforementioned means in the form of pepper, gas and fork and evaluate the result.
With a negative outcome, I begin to speak with a cowboy — a powerful voice, without fear, but with anger, simultaneously finding out his literary tastes.
If this does not help, then I, tighting him on the nose with a rod, jump on a tree, urinate on the top of the cane, let the petards and ring the bell.
From the joint impact of these proven hunting methods, the cockroach crashes into fainting, and I descend from the tree, shoot it with a syringe and photograph the resulting natural death, signing a photo - Features of fungal hunting.

Small (4 years) in the morning came out of the blanket and thoughtfully commented "I get up.."
I ask :
Do I get up or get up?
I thought.
Okay, I will sleep again.
Back under the blanket.

Talk to a friend about different ways of influencing children.
Girlfriend: If mys behave badly, I scare them with Timati’s guards.
A: Do you explain it?
Timothy is our neighbor. He is seldom seen, but his beastly kind of security often hangs in the hall of our entrance. When we go out for a walk or come home, we often see them. The children are silenced in reverent horror when they see these closet-like men, who all the team even in the cargo elevator with difficulty accommodate at the same time. Here I tell you that they are sitting there waiting for mothers to give them their disobedient children. They believe.

Five years ago, with a scandal, I resigned from one office, which began to squeeze money under various pretext and eventually left me owed almost the entire salary. You could be judged, but I spit, I decided that I paid that money to never see them all again. The days updated the resume on the work site, not two hours have passed - they are called to this same office (do not know, apparently - I have since changed my surname).

I come to the interview and I gladly say so to the boss - said, I will not work with you, Ivan Ivanovich, but if you give back the money, pressed five years ago, I will not object!

What do you think, they’ve come back! The magic thing is a sudden attack!

And my cat is not ashamed to wake up at dawn and ask to let her in the closet. Actually, she is not sleeping, she is just sleeping.

I ran in the evening to throw out the garbage, in the darkness I watched a picture: near the garbage there is a characteristic bombage, next to it a couple of bags with a pipe coming out of them, all as appropriate. Bohm holds an old phone in his hand and says to the whole street:
“Well, Wally, where am I going to get you? This is a bathroom, not a restaurant.

You are waiting for nightmarish, post-apocalyptic landscapes, ghost stories, crazy scientists, serial killers, gates to alien worlds, mysteries and legends, and, of course, twists throughout the body.

YYY: Of all the listed "flies", it is undoubtedly the worst.

It seems to me to polish the alarm with the sound of a whirling cat is a brilliant business idea...and how the cat-loving sensor will also work, whirled somewhere in a crowd of people, everyone who began to look nervously - owners of cats)))

Peripheral store for PC. The girl just asked a four-deck router!)
He couldn’t hold his smile and began to imagine what a combat modification,
But in time understood its maritime associations with the four-port model.

From the animal world:
Employees of the Reserve "Knižinskaya Pushha" settled a male to the female polar sova, so that he made her company. A few days later, the unfortunate was found dead and half-eaten...We showed the remains of the bird to the veterinarian. He found that the male genitals were underdeveloped. In other words, he was not suitable for a female as a partner for mating", he said. Apparently, the male was unable to distinguish himself in the process of mating, and the female killed him, being angry.

A ventilator of 50 tons.
I never liked the novels from the "Sharm" series (there were such at the time). And since this masterpiece is very similar to them in my opinion, I could not read it. There is no desire or desire to watch. But! The one who made this boulevard a world-famous bestseller, discussed by millions of people, and most importantly perfectly purchased and sold - he / she is really a genius! Not that he is the author. That should be cut off! Most importantly legally. It is beautiful! 😉

In the shop:
Buyer: One L&M please.
One blue or one red?
Buyer: 1 x

yesterday
Q: What do you give for your anniversary?
Mommy: I don’t know...
I: "Buy an apartment and live separately"
Mommy is excited: Aaaah!

One guy now saw an album with photos of overseas titled "When the dollar was 36".))))

to all:
Do you seriously think there are places in the house inaccessible to cats?
– – – – –
I personally take it seriously.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
And I personally had a cat picked up by a cat on the street that just couldn’t open the safe. She walked into any closet even on the upper shelves and gave birth to cats there. She opened the doors if they were closed not by the turn of the key, but simply by the tongue of the lock. She opened the refrigerator door. She took the chicken out of the boiling bouillon and closed the lid. She moved somehow two bricks, which lay loaded on a cover covering the olive plate, and ate the whole sausage from there. Do not judge everyone by their experience. Cats are also very different.

If you get tired quickly and constantly want to sleep, then add a slice of lemon to the tea, a slice of hammered cinnamon, get on the nearest plane to Goa, and never go back.

Why to burn?
Yyy: Because to dissolve bodies in acid is expensive, and wood is cheap.
xxx: I always dreamed of dying like this))) and the dust to be scattered by the wind! I do not want to rot in the earth.
yyy: rot in the ground is at least dangerous. Necrophils, necrophages or even worse, necromants!
XXX: Yes) is also a serious argument
Yyy: Necromants are the worst of all! It’s one thing if you’re burned or fucked up after you die, but forcing me to work after you die is overwhelming.

------------

Fuck, the hysterical animal that lives on MY dependence will protest to ME over my behavior in MY house! And also in this way.
I don’t even tolerate Homo sapiens. Do not like? Pink under your ass, go live on the street and express your protest there.

------------
And you, the fool, are that fool.

Fifty shades of cat guano, according to humanitarian technicians, are very stunned by the unfresh borship of multivarka, and in no way contribute to the improvement of the potency of a sixteen-year-old twin, moving away at a speed of 299,792,458 m / s.

A: Minsk, educate me, what is "Refused distribution"?
A: How is it? Did he pay and did not work?
B: Yes, you can refuse, and pay the cost of tuition all the time
C: In 2012 it was about $10,000
A: A lot of...
D: My friend had to pay $23800.
B: Nothing for yourself
E: 5-7 years ago there was the simplest chit: at 5 course (or at the end of 4) something not to surrender, not to surrender and not to surrender again. Not to be transferred. to be counted. Return to pay and pay for the last year.
E: already in 2006 this store was covered, as almost half-flow began to switch to pay. I didn’t get rid of high school students =)