I was 5 years old. My grandfather asked me to bring a hammer from Sarai. Such a big hammer. And here I go, pleased, home, waving this same hammer, I go, I go... And then the darkness...

I turned out to be so good with the hammer that I loaded myself in the forehead and cut myself off.

Let us give a few examples of questions on the "Idiotent", which the Russians who moved to Germany remembered on Russian-language forums:
Do you drive on the highway at night and see a bird sitting on a tree, your actions?? to
The correct answer: - Stop and adjust the lights

What would you do if the guests you came to by car offered you a drink?
Options of Answer:
I will refuse;
I’ll drink and go home by taxi.
I will drink and stay overnight with the masters.
The correct answer, the option you should have proposed yourself:
"I will not go to people who can offer a drink to a driver"

Or ask
How many trees are on the road from Munich to Nuremberg?
"And who counted them? Well, a lot of..."
It is wrong! There are as many as on the road from Nuremberg to Munich.

or
"How many turns in Germany"?
The subject thinks, and in vain. There are only two: the right and the left.

Interestingly, at the psychologist’s door in the transfer center hangs a poster: “Let hope, everyone who enters!”
To fail an idiot, you don’t have to be an idiot. For example, you enter the office and you are asked why you didn’t close the door. You’re turning around, and in vain—ah, you couldn’t even remember that. and c)

Lex:... And Leningrad is slowly but surely turning into Viagra

Commentary on News:
"The chatbot with artificial intelligence, targeting a youth audience, in a day learned to blaspheme and became racist"
I seem to understand why Skynet started killing people.

The most stupid stereotypes start with the words "all women" and "all men". It does not happen. and fucking. See in the quote "all women", or "all men" - just skip not reading. All men are different - even this fucking, there are twins in the first half-hour of life. All women are people - unfortunately, there are among them and non-men, as well as among men. Do not engage in provocations, intentional and accidental. All women, like all men, deserve an individual approach and personal consideration. So why are you still reading this text? I told you, do not read. Unfortunately, all men are curious, and all women never do what they are told.

The pedestrian transition.
Ask for advice:
Unregulated transition, formally within the city, really less than 90 no one is driving, the traffic is lively.
Once I stood for 10 minutes demonstrating a clear desire to cross (one leg on the road), and nobody even thought to slow.
I have to go, there is no other way, but I want to live.
And what to do?

to who:
After the release of the film "Batman v Superman" will be released a porn parody called "Batman is not against Superman".

The Comrade!
Batman V Superman Part 1 - Damien Crosse & Topher Di Maggio

Enjoy it ))
Happy Spring and Spring in the Morning!

xxx: rabbits actually eat once a day, as their winter feeding this tree bark for one digestive cycle is not completely decomposed to nutrient structures
YYY: I did not understand
zzz: What rabbits eat in the winter flies through the intestines and is only partially absorbed. Therefore, they eat their own shit to absorb what is left there from the first passage.
YYY: I understand
JJ: Has he won for the second time?

About the year 2003-04. I am a tired student for the day, I go from the institute to the shelter and I decide to sit on the bench on the boulevard to rest. After a couple of minutes, a drunken cloud is drawn from somewhere, blows up next to it (the boulevard is full of empty benches, but we understand that it is the one on which I am sitting that is the best) and begins to actively meet in the spirit of “Your mother doesn’t need a son-in-law?” My mother doesn't need a son-in-law, especially one who is drunk on the boulevards and clings to the girls who dress up as daughters. I get up, I leave, the man is itching after me and begins to grab my hands. Dinner around no one is useless.

I push the man away as I can. I’m one and a half heads lower and twice lighter, so I can’t really, but he’s drunk and stands badly on his legs, shakes and falls – well, as he falls, he just sits his ass on the sand. He begins to cry that I am a hooligan. Here, wherever you can take - the police armor, which, it turns out, was still around... In general, jokes and jokes, but I spent an hour and a half in the monkey house, until I understood what and who was hooliganizing here. Later, I was triumphantly brought into communion on the Mento car and was conducted with a jokeful rush to "no longer beat anyone", neighbors in communion still looked with respect for a long time.

I was four years old when my grandfather died. I, whether because of my age, or my parents did not tell me the truth, did not understand the essence of the funeral. A cemetery with many grandmothers and grandparents. My parents left me with these grandmothers. The grandmothers were very upset, they cried, and I, completely unaware of what was going on, said, "Well, you are crying, you will meet soon!" I am still ashamed of them.

It is said that people use their Photoshop only 5% of the time. 

Discussing ideas for the new Hitman - what other exotic types of killings could be put into the game.

xxx: Change the victim’s home address in Google Maps

Walker, dying on the crossing, remember – you were right!

It’s cool, of course, but, dear drivers, how do we cross the road?

Tamil: It has been said many times to the world that the loudest of all about the mercantial women is the loudest cry. · ·

Dialogue with the candidate:
xxx: generally we write all the software without bugwo and even without any serious mistakes
YYY: You know, I don’t even know what to answer...

A happy woman is more beautiful than a beautiful woman.

The calls of collectors. Always check, always, what your other half is doing in banks and other financial institutions. Otherwise, you will not have problems afterwards. My (long-ex) girlfriend when we were still dating when she took a loan "accidentally" left my number as a second contact. And then, when we were separated, she changed her number, and the bank was forced to call me about her debts.
Initially, he politely explained the situation to the calling collectors. They didn't understand, as a result, put my number on the phone call (who doesn't know what it is - every hour a phone calls, you take the phone, there a melody plays and in a few seconds the collector responds who demands to repay the debt, and they called at night too). Changing the number is not an option. It is known to many partners and is linked to many contractors of the company in which I work.
After a few days of such regular calls, I got tired of it. He sent two calls in direct text. It did not help, the phone call only intensified, despite the fact that the numbers are all on the blacklist - they have thousands of them! They always call from different numbers.
The breakdown came unexpectedly to me. Understanding that not only can they intimidate me, but I can try to intimidate them too. Another call, I take the phone, I listen to the melody and as soon as the live collector answered I said with a Georgian accent:
And Mahomet? Hear the dust I brought, and you threw me, yeah, 100 pieces of green where?
We are an OOO company, we are recovering outstanding debt.
- Do you pretend Magame, just pay for the powder, and everything will be fine?
Forgive me, was it a mistake? I called you to talk about your debt.
Do you know who you are talking to, Mahatma? If tomorrow before 12 o’clock 100 pieces of green will not be at the menu, you will answer with your head before Givi Mahmudovich himself, you understand? Your number is calculated, they are following you, prepare your baby.
Sorry, I probably mistaken the number.
No more calls.

Do something twice voluntarily, the third time they will expect it from you, and the fourth time they will demand it.

I work in a car service. A car runs down - a ruin, a woman with a son aged 5 - 6. Next to the stand there are several chairs so to say for the staff, while I hanged the sensors on the wheels, aunt and child sat on these same chairs, waiting. In principle, we are not forbidden to be in the working area, although it is undesirable, but we are not talking about it. Here the momma (and this is the most affectionate as you can call this individual of the female sex) went to the box office to calculate, the boy remained. Naturally, the process became interesting for the guy, he approached the stand and asked, "Can I look?" Without a reason to refuse, I agreed. He quietly stood up and looked at the multi-colored figures on the monitor with immeasurable interest)) did not run, did not noise, did not interfere, just silently stood and looked. By the way, literally two meters from the chair he was sitting on. Here his mother returned... Just a thunder-like, literally filled with rage shout forced me to tear the keys out of my hands – “I told you what shit?!?! Sit and sit!! Do you have to repeat it 10 times, fool? And not acid so stiffened to the little backbone. To say that I was upset means not to say anything... Once again I got the gift of speech, I said, “Well, you, he doesn’t bother, it’s calm.” I got a short answer, “It’s not your business at all!!! (I used to say “you”) turn your hooks and don’t lie down!!!” The boy at this time was already sitting on the chair, not crying, although I would probably have been different in his place, not from pain but from resentment. Finished the car, Mommy in the meantime went back to the store again - why. I approached the child, in my pocket there were a few slides, I give him, I say, "don't worry, maybe my mom is in a bad mood, don't be upset." And he, you know, so raised my eyes, I got up in my throat, how much sadness there was and what fatigue there was. And how calmly, even as an adult, “yes always so, I’ve used to it.” Mom came and they sat in the car and left. I smoked for a long time and wondered where these fucking people came from.

But if a person in the subway wears an iPhone or a pack of money in the back pocket of jeans - he is dolbo@b and the fault itself (which does not cancel the need to find and plant the wallet).
If you park a car in the yard with open windows, do not close the apartment with the key, etc.

I advise you to read Chapter 14 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation "Acquisition of property rights". I think you are a latent thief.