bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №81192
 07.05.2013
Wife: Dear, I watch the parade rehearsal, there are aircraft flying, different and nine at once and with a propeller and one such the largest - just la la la!
I: dear, only Carlson flies with propellers, but it doesn’t exist, and what you called “Lyalaya” is an intercontinental strategic multi-mode missile carrier TU-160, according to NATO’s classification Blackjack, the heaviest combat aircraft in the world.
wife: (pause, then quietly)... and I will call it "la-la-la"...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №81191
 07.05.2013
Misha is a miracle. Davecha came to me in the evening, discussed some affairs with him. He is about to leave and says, “I’m drinking water and I’m going to the kitchen.” And I have a white bowl on the table, filled up with milk, which I specially poured out to drink before going to bed. So he approaches this circle, takes the pen and confidently moves it. Milk is everywhere: on the table, on the chair, on the floor... I am an officel, but not less than Misha himself. He said, “I didn’t know there was milk in it. I thought it was your bowl just standing on top of the bottom, and I turned it over".

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81190
 07.05.2013
---> xxx: I badly washed the hair balm from the ear. It turns out to taste very bitter.
YYYYYYYYYYY))))
You are funny, and I stand there like a fool, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
— — —
This is FIGN. The lady did not wash the finalgon from her neck. This is what I had "bottle bump" 8))))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №81189
 07.05.2013
XXX: Are you currently living at Dacia?
YYY: That kind of thing.
XXX: How do you change the housing conditions?
YYY: I cannot get used to it. All neighbors are retired musicians. The loudest admissible sound after 11, according to them, is a click of the lock from the cover with a violin.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №81188
 07.05.2013
A picture of a naked woman:
This is Sarah Summers, look for her in Vacuum Hoes 6 (2005).
YYY: An interesting movie?
Zzz about love.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №81187
 07.05.2013
I work in a warehouse advertising agency. Film, solvents, paint and so on.
Through the warehouse run bats and field mice.
At the end of the working day visit unicorns, Jiggurs and speaking cats.
It is recommended to wear a respirator.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №81186
 07.05.2013
Judging by the amount of milk in the refrigerator of our department, we have a very harmful job.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81185
 07.05.2013
More inside than outside.
You are about what? The Tardis?? to
The female bag.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №81184
 07.05.2013
Men are the opposite, women are angry. The hands are afraid, the eyes do.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №81183
 07.05.2013
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg found himself in a stupid situation when he was refused to repeat the request for a pizza in one of the snacks.
The owner of the pizzeria says they refused him more than one serving in protest against Bloomberg’s proposed ban that would restrict the sale of soda.
Can I get another Pepperoni? The mayor of the city, Antonio Benito.
“I’m very sorry sir,” he replied, “we can’t do that. We have a limit – no more than one piece of pizza.
“Well, it’s funny,” he realized, hinting at the limit on the sale of soda: “in connection with soda... such things... But I’m not joking. I didn’t eat all morning, just give another pepperoni.
I am very sorry sir. We are serious, Benito insisted. “We decided that having more than one piece is harmful to you, and we forbade you to do so.
Look at the fools! Bloomberg was bustling. I missed breakfast this morning, I can eat at least four pieces of your pizza. Don’t be a bad guy, just go back to the kitchen and bring a fucking pizza, it’s okay.
“I’m very sorry, sir, I can’t do anything,” the owner repeated. You can go to several restaurants and get a piece in each. At least as you suggested. You know, it is good to burn calories!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №81182
 07.05.2013
Traffic Rules is the science of how to properly protect the contents of your wallet from predatory haishnikovs.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №81181
 07.05.2013
The most stupid act of those I have witnessed is to stick the key of the hanging lock on its own bow and to shut it down – so as not to lose it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №81180
 07.05.2013
I’ll be happy with you then I’ll go.
Leave hope to everyone who enters here.
HHH: What is it?
One of them, I say, come.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №81179
 07.05.2013
When you tempt a girl, what do you say?
"Can you see them all?"
Fu, the fool

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №81178
 07.05.2013
by Moredhel:
I played at the holidays in Knights of the Old Republic. They are so cute there :)
In me Darkside is already hoping at the fullest minus, on the avatar is no longer a man but Diablo is someone, I kill all the ignorants who can, throw them, blackmail, behave like a complete shit.
And here more briefly in one of the dialogues where the non-writing on me begins to include a bull I somehow haunted him very answered in the key "plug the fist, the wretch", and here the Jedi-partner to me is such "my friend, filter the bazar, on the dark side ignorance can lead you".

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №81177
 07.05.2013
How is it with Alina?
- And how... I didn't sleep all night, I thought how better to break up, so that her psyche would not be badly traumatized... sad yet. I made a mega-plan, I thought about all the little things. I woke up in the morning, she told me - "Sorry, Sanj, let's go away, no offenses=)" Is she not normal?? to
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah You are bad ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №81176
 07.05.2013
Sometimes I get out of contact for a moment so everyone thinks I’ve gone somewhere and I have a real life.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81175
 07.05.2013
The Monday. The morning. I work. And on the street, warm, sunny, birds sing... They didn’t hold up with a friend and went to the bar for a ice cream. The head of the grimza saw it in the window and walked to the third of our colleague where we went in the jackets because until lunch there was still a long way.
When I came back I lied that I was smoking.
Fuck, I’m going for the ice cream and lying about smoking!!! and survived!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №81174
 07.05.2013
Rambumbedum: I have a diploma. 10 pages of concentrated inf must be poured with water to get 100 pages.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №81173
 07.05.2013
by Lenta.ru
"The ability to lose weight with worms proved on mice"

Is there anything left of the mice?

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