bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №29695
 07.05.2010
BG45DS-FE5GHR-KW82GD-GE5NA
Thank you for the bar!! I have started ? ?

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №29694
 07.05.2010
to this:
Stability in a relationship is when you buy a pack of not three condoms, but twelve.
– – – – –
Stability in a relationship is when you don’t buy condoms.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №29693
 07.05.2010
D
wow: yeah again?
chh: Well you know she's shy and scary to death, in the bus she's shorter than that picture. She could not get out of the bus, because of the fact that someone was sitting near her, and she was embarrassed to say that she needed to get out, traveled for 3 stops further than necessary, when the man had already got up and got out))
wow: pzddz XDDDDD
chh: this is what, she was surprised here again))
chh: short, at night from school returned, sat down and slept, sat around, and by kindness of soul decided to wake our Nastyusha, ask if she did not go through.
So she woke up, burst out "pasibaba" and went out 5 again before, under the pretext "a man tried, woke up - and I don't let you go, it's I’m fucking with her ?

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №29692
 07.05.2010
to this:
Beer at the subway, immediately have sex.
==== is
author, bravo!I offer "woman of the gopnik" to contribute to our speech circulation))

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №29691
 07.05.2010
The Iron Man discussion forum:

by Dimka:
Tony Stark is a genius.
And his most ingenious invention is the two thin wires through which all the wild power from the reactor goes.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №29690
 07.05.2010
and more:
here
to this:
Discrimination of Tea:

In response to this:
What about your reflexes?
YYY: great... one day he poured tea, burned himself with steam and reflectingly threw the cupboard out the window... O_o
___________________________________________________
I am just going home, I hear the scream upstairs with the mates, I look upstairs, and I am flying into the tea...
__________________________________
The master takes me to pour water, and I feel the smell of another cup of tea from him, well, I do it and boil.
And he looks at me in the window...
____________________________
It means putting me in the tea. They start to warm up, from such a dullness my drying dimmed... I woke up already in freedom...
____________________________
I got to throw all the cupcakes out :(
The window.
____________________________________
* a pair wickedly hiccuts in the side

[ + 105 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29689
 07.05.2010
From Zebbaly.ru

For some reason, all kinds of witnesses, baptists, Mormons and other people who smoke "opium for the people" are eager to stick to me - apparently, my appearance causes them to activate some kind of reflex. Not so long ago, however, I found a way to extract from this my lack of a little healthy laugh.
I changed my glasses for contact lenses. Among other things in optics there were those that visually change the shape of the pupil - before, remember, they were crazyly popular. I bought a set. So here comes an elderly woman and asks if I know that the end of the world is not beyond the mountains.
Yes you are right.
(Inspired) Do you know that a dark one is already walking among people and looking for unrepentant souls?
I take off my dark glasses and look at her in focus with vertical pupils and a red iris.
Are you about me?
Even Copperfield would have disappeared so quickly.

[ + 83 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29688
 07.05.2010
from ZH:

We have three jeeps parked right on the sidewalk under the windows of the first floor – very close to the windows, as there is no lawn.
Neighbors crawl them on the hood every day – in the real sense of the word.
Jeeps are washed and come to park again in the evening.

I’m waiting for the first patient to end. It’s been a year of history.)

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №29687
 07.05.2010
But somewhere in America there is an unfortunate doctor with the name of House, over whom the entire medical staff clings.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №29686
 07.05.2010
Q: Did your parents read stories at night?
My dad always read. After half an hour of reading I went to my mom with the words "He fell asleep, take it!"

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29685
 07.05.2010
This is:

What kind of pity do you say???? to
I am a brunette, cute, height 175, I can and screw if something to reinstall... Yesterday I stood with a friend near the subway drinking beer. Two men, well, and something, word for word, in general one tells me - give me a phone, I call, we go to the movie.... to which I do not think long I answer - her, I will not go to the movie, here if you offered me to have sex... to what he was reddened!, turned to his friend, gave a sad breath and they went away....
Men, Aauauau, where are you?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Fuck you, did you get along? Probably so they approach unsuccessfully, and she screams "Where are the men?"...

++++++++++++++++++++++++

And you didn't think about the fact that it wasn't you, and he became a little uncomfortable to be next to such a girl... just if I was a man, then the first thought of such a statement would be something like: "and is she ready to sleep with any encounter?"
Beer at the subway, immediately to have sex... a female gooper some.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №29684
 07.05.2010
With WOWLOL.
Announcement: I will give Percy for 10 rubles.
I’m going to have a beer for a long time, I’ve wanted a whiskey. What is he at all? The curse?
yyy: Level 13, Strength 26, Capacity 27, Health: 799/865, Experience: 816/855
Fuck, I thought you were giving a cat.
YYY: O_O

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №29683
 07.05.2010
I made the route to Moscow in Yandex, it turned out:
Route of Passage
Total length: 23.1 km
Average travel time: 58 days.
C taking into account the interruption

[ + 88 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29682
 07.05.2010
Part of correspondence from one of the Internet portals on delays from call (P. The Recruiter, M The Moderators :

P is How long will the prosecutor be pursuing me?
M is > Hello to you
Great question, it depends on how much they want to catch you.

P is I once studied at the institute, had a postponement from the army. Then I left and got the order to come to the military. I came, I was recorded as appearing, I asked to go to the toilet and went home. After several years, the agenda did not come at all.

c) Demo

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №29681
 07.05.2010
to this:
My girlfriend plays in WOW. And recently she changed the vpn connection to a proxy (the provider has something blurred, temporarily). There was a problem, the application did not want to connect to the Internet. Well, I think I’ll come back tomorrow, I’ll make her feel.
I come, the picture with oil: Ubuntu 9.04 rotates on the computer (how did I put it?) configured proxychains (???) And on the ubound under the waian fun whirls WoW O_O. I don’t know anything about my half.
___________________________________________________________

Someone has come before you ?

[ + 77 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29680
 07.05.2010
to tom:
Unknown robbed "Bentley" from the unemployed in the center of Moscow

More than half a million rubles were stolen from the car of the unemployed Moscow woman

In Moscow, a manager of a confectionery firm robbed a unemployed man

Three unknown people took a prestigious foreign mark from the unemployed in Moscow

Lexus worth more than 4 million rubles stolen from unemployed in Moscow

Unknown man stole more than 30 million rubles from unemployed in Moscow

Unknown took away in Moscow from the unemployed car "Infiniti"

Unknown in Moscow stole a large sum of money from the unemployed

Portfolio of almost 2 million rubles stolen from the unemployed in the center of Moscow

Unknown people took seven Apple iPads from a Moscow unemployed
_________________________________________________________________
Did the Sherwood Forest grow near Moscow?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №29679
 07.05.2010
Had Malevich been a real genius, he would have written the White Square, while saving a bowl of black paint.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29678
 07.05.2010
We lived with an old Murzick cat.
I unsuccessfully tried to make him a cosmonaut for a while, but the cosmonaut from him something failed, although a couple of flights to the garden neighbor he made, and he lived his meaningless life just like a cat.
And then happened this case, which I told you, when a cat in a ventilation pipe was wrapped in a birdhouse, and then the rats came and smelled all the kittens.
So, there one kitten survived, he just fell out of the pipe, stuck there somewhere in the wall, and the rats did not touch him.
And the cat went in an unknown direction after the floor.
The mother of the cat brought him home. Unfortunately, a cat is still needed to replace Murzika.
It was such a milk toothless dog, he could not even eat himself. Not even blind, so small.
In short, the grandmother somehow tried to feed him there with an improvised nipple of flour with milk, but very quickly tired and shrugged his hand. Are normal cats still suffering with shit? She said so and dropped the cat on the floor.
So he started crawling and feeding. Like a factory toy.
And there, in the corner of the oven, Murzick was lying, and through the periscope he observed all this. Finally, this shit on Murzika came across.

And very quickly began to dig in Murzick's stomach in search of a tick.
He digged and digged, found visible some piece of falling wool, slightly like a chicken, and silenced.
Murzick, at the same time, first surprised at this case, pushed the squid, and then, as a grandmother, mocked his leg. My grandmother and I were very similar. At least the reactions. And grandmother, by the way, just like Murzick did not want to be an astronaut.

Okay well. The grandmother passed through the matter quickly, and said, “Aha!“She set up a bowl of thick cream, threatened the cat not to dare, son of the cock, and smelted his belly thick with crème de jure. Like a ghetto. The cow found this!
And this pimple slight tactic quickly stunned, and all the bubble of Murziki dried up. And then more. Then he ate, and fell away, clover.
The grandmother of Murzika also dressed. It deserves.
And we became a nurturing mother.
He seemed to have lived with that role.
When the tick grew up and dropped the tick, Murzick still slept on his stomach. And he taught him all the cats of wisdom.
from certificate

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №29677
 07.05.2010
Why do girls call themselves cats or tigers? Elephants and females are also lonely and playful.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29676
 07.05.2010
From the news:

The fire at the factory left Kharkov without toilet paper..."

I had enough of that hat.
Kharkov, accept my condolences.

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