bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97544
 07.05.2014
Thirty-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four! In Roskomnadzor they are trying to spray the all-Russian anti-bomber == it is just cool, comrades...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97543
 07.05.2014
Why do you have such a big monitor, grandmother?
To see you on Skype, Red Hat.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97542
 07.05.2014
The State Museum No. 8 is opened. You buy a ticket, you enter, and there is an empty room.
And the grandmother sits on the chair, guarding.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97541
 07.05.2014
>Voices of residents of Crimea at "Eurovision-2014" will be counted as Ukrainian
As a result, residents of the Crimean peninsula will be able to vote for Russia and not for Ukraine

Russia will vote for the second time and the United States will not recognize it again. and :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97540
 07.05.2014
We have how. First you buy a video course, in the advertisement of which promise that you will be able to seduce any girl on the first date. And then in the first lesson it turns out that in the beginning you just have to become a brilliant beautician in shoes for 400 backs. You have shoes. And here, having collected the remains of intelligence in the center of your own baldness and pulling the stomach, you look in the mirror at your cheeks, because of which you can no longer see your ears, and your cheeked beard and you think: interesting... and why a brilliant beauty video course?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97539
 07.05.2014
We talk to a friend:
Has something gone out of your head when you have a doctor?
I: 21 May
Friend: 21... So you are straight like my member!
I: Ah, so you congratulate me every year on May 12th :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97538
 07.05.2014
to this:

It’s like in a fighting club.
Give a person the opportunity to consume, and consumption will become the meaning of his life. Nothing else will worry him anymore.

The main thing is that a person is happy. I see this in the clips: Happiness is a human concept. What is man, philosophically speaking? Man, comrades, is Homo sapiens who can and wants. Maybe she has everything she wants, and she wants everything she can. Do you go, comrades? If he, that is, a man, can do everything he wants and wants everything he can, then he is happy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97537
 07.05.2014
Forum of Ventilators
The xxx:
I was always concerned with the question about the phrase "20 m3/h per visitor, and 60 m3/h per survey. It is ".
And how do you make it so that the service staff gets exactly 60 cubes, and the visitor gets their 20? Or do they give shutters with cybers at the entrance?

YYYY :
You can give anti-gases with a calibrated reducer at the entrance. They breathe on the hole, by counting.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97536
 07.05.2014
to this:
Q: Which is the most stupid nick you’ve met?
yyy: "and_made_gay" It was very fairy to die in Call of Duty 4 on a local servacle, and see the inscription on the screen - you killed the player and made_gay"))

And I met people with nicknames in CS "aleksey_buhoy_v_govno" and "avtobusNo716"))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97535
 07.05.2014
Freddie Kruger is the Rosomach who fell into a volcano.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №97534
 07.05.2014
I work in a warehouse, tables, chairs, compasses and other figs are dusty, waiting for their hour, there was a shortage in the inventory in the form of 2 chairs. We searched for three days and found that we were sitting on them.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97533
 07.05.2014
The wisdom says, “Break breakfast yourself, share lunch with a friend, give dinner to your enemy.” In my house, there are other rules: share breakfast with a cat, share lunch with a cat, share dinner with a cat, and don't forget to feed him, or he will eat you.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97532
 07.05.2014
My husband and I respect the feelings of believers, regardless of what religion they are, but were against our daughter in the 4th grade to study the basics of Orthodoxy. As almost the whole class, they wrote a statement on ethics - but there was no room for teachers in our classroom (everyone ranted on ethics), and parents at the next meeting quietly rewritten statements on Orthodoxy. We did not rewrite. It was wild. It felt like the iron arm of the dictatorship blocked the oxygen, there was a desire for a law to protect the rights of atheists. The child, for example, also attended the study of Orthodoxy behind the school party sharply negatively.
The school year is coming to an end. Some conclusions can be drawn. In the first quarter, the children really penetrated, something like... brain-like. But, having done compulsory homework, having done what they were supposed to do there, pulling up their personal stuff to the people (for the next lesson, make a list of your sins, and now write why the modern man should believe in God) - began to treat compulsory religiousness correctly: do not get into your soul, do not change your personality. Whoever had a faith - the beginnings of faith at this age - received an excellent vaccine.
In general, adequate children respond appropriately. Only a pity, our daughter with her analytical mind and beginning youthful maximalism has ceased to accept the theme of faith... It will be necessary to work somehow... We in the family respect the feelings of believers.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97531
 07.05.2014
Colded sharply. I am going out of the universe, in front of me a man in a workshop with a shoveled cap, shorts and socks. First thought: fine, by color picked up, under black black. The second: what? A man in shorts? The Negro – The Negro

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97530
 07.05.2014
Cynics and Pessimists:

With the main:

>>>>xxx: We have been living with him for almost 4 years. For a moment, I’m almost 29. So he’s not that he doesn’t get married, but he’s looking at me yesterday with Lenin’s spell and says, “What have you been sitting in the girls, Yulka?” And the wild, the fool.

No, he’s not just a fool, but a well-organized pig. But here is a fool of you, if someone else can tolerate all this.
________
Look at it differently)) a person with a characteristic sense of humor hints to a quick sentence, right?)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97529
 07.05.2014
In the dictionary:
one pathos realtor was expressed as follows: more_not_less (meaning "more or less"). And I am scared to imagine how he would write it. And I have the feeling that 93% of people are NOT aware of what their mouth says.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97528
 07.05.2014
Politics, like dysentery, is a disease of dirty hands.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №97527
 07.05.2014
I see this picture on the playground: a young father walks out his son, who is 4 years old. Here, a cat approaches the small, and he shortly thinks of it with all his strength, the poor animal immediately retires.
The father approaches his child, does not scream, does not blaspheme, but sits in front of him and calmly says:
Are you big?
and yes.
The strong?
and yes.
- So big and strong that you can hit a small weak cat?
–...
I’m bigger and stronger, but you know why I’m not hitting you? Because strength is needed to protect those who are weaker, understood? Not to beat the small and defenseless. The strong do not do that, you know?
I understood...
What did you understand?
You can’t beat the little ones, or you’ll never be strong.
The young man.
Respect and respect for such parents!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №97526
 07.05.2014
Previously there was fashion on torn jeans, now fashion on torn jeans.
When will the fashion of broken socks come in?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97525
 07.05.2014
Sam is
You became a sober man.
Sam is
I was thinking of changing your name on the phone to Boring. and as he imagined the type of inscription - calls boring, throwing in the rust)
villain
Fuck, I’ll change your name to Pidora))
Sam is
"Rocky"
villain
at the FSB there on the screens: Bored calls Pidor)))
Sam is
It was up ? ? ?

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