bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99233
 15.06.2014
It seems to me that the most serious ontological error lies in the medieval discrete perception of the concept of “man” – “not man”. In the modern world, considering the discoveries of animal intelligence, the creation of artificial, as well as the apparently irreparable animal stupidity of the habitant, it is more appropriate to consider the degree of humanity as a gradation, the property of the phenotype manifested to one degree or another. by Napr. based on the IQ scale. In this case, it will be possible to avoid the absurd situation, when the plankton is considered a person with all rights (including political) only on the basis of a certain structure of the limbs and the ability to pronounce sounds that resemble connected speech.
Zloradskij

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99232
 15.06.2014
OOOO OOOO! This is a whole story! Full of adventures, dangers, vampires, monsters, aliens, dragons, drugs...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99231
 15.06.2014

In the course of the game, the hero gets into a concentration camp of death, everywhere fascists, blood, intestines, killers robots. He goes to the prisoners in the barracks, and in the dark and dirty place of the barracks he sees - toilet paper! Toilet paper in the conglomerate.
Now I can say that in computer games I have seen everything!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99230
 15.06.2014
The paradoxes of life:
You ride a bus, earn your mind exactly as much as you need, leave time to work on your project - loch and downshift. Break your ass on two jobs, one of which is physical, in order to pay a loan for a parking lot and tablets, phones - you work well, you understand life.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99229
 15.06.2014
...I: but Harry Potter in family life brings all the salary to the house, does not throw out the socks, and on other girls only looks with the words: sweetheart, look what she wears the boots. Should we buy such?

Sister: It’s okay! Pick a baby looking for

It’s hard to be a babysitter. If your wife finds out, your eggs will rely on the grown wings... and the member will take away.

Well okay, Harry is a hunter in a quidditch, so his eggs will not stand far away!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №99228
 15.06.2014
Post about how guys unusually congratulated loved ones with the holiday...

' and ' Stalin
All my birthday, I pretended I forgot that she had a holiday... calmly met for a walk... she’s in silent horror, but she’s silent... I calmly put her on the bus, I say goodbye and leave... she’s in troubled feelings leaving... at the stop comes a guy, gives her a rose, silently goes out... so at every stop... people are in shock... culmination... at her stop I’m standing, with a bouquet bigger and a lovely gift.
I get the same bouquet on my head, then a kiss, peace, friendship, chewing, everyone is happy and happy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99227
 15.06.2014
You have to be able to find the good in everything. You are not popular with men - no one distracts from studying during the session. It is :'(

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99226
 15.06.2014
The paradoxes of life:
- You go to the stool, eat some protein, then the penis will not stand, - said my friend and extinguished a cigarette from a pack with the inscription "Smoking leads to impotence".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99225
 15.06.2014
All men are the same, but their salaries are different.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №99224
 15.06.2014
Who is smarter?
It has long been understood that the controversy about the comparative analysis of the cat and dog mind is meaningless by definition. It’s like arguing about the male and female minds. We seem to know better about cars and raise more money – and as a result, they paint their nails while we repair their cars purchased for our money. Find out who is smarter. There are some sad thoughts about this, but I chase them away from myself.
Plus, the results of four-legged observations are strongly dependent on the observer. But there are sometimes absolute results. I am not in favor of dogs, let the cat haters forgive me.
A couple of years ago, the neighbor’s dog began 120 minutes of anger. That is to say, imagine... a summer, a village, a bustle, an afternoon dream... and suddenly a wild, unceasing laughter... to a whistle, to hysteria, with sublimation and almost a human matte... and so for two hours without a break. every day. Finally, I can’t stand the prush to the neighbor.
Good day!
to you!
and yours! Let me tell you why the animal is tyrannized? Shooting ammunition is bad?
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I enter the stone.
The Conor. The chain. Stretching the chain to the state of the string, almost suffocating himself with a collar in hysteria beats the neighboring Alma-three-year-old German fool. At a distance of 20 cm from the point of the maximum spread of its saliva, the thick red cat demonstrately lickes its causals. Attention to the dog.
We are silent. Nothing to say.
Why don’t you chase that trap?
Are you chasing? I rushed to run after him. He comes back in 5 minutes.
Remove the dog from the rope.
Do not need. There is a bulmastype behind the fence. She’s almost right to him. Where are the fruits of love?
Yes is. And this will not go. I know him. He beat my cat’s mouth once a week. He enters the house through the fortress and now Monya wander. Keep the calendar on it. and punctual.
Do not speak.
The weather has an idea.
Well?
Tomorrow I will try.
and no-no
In the morning I came to the neighbor for another cat’s visit and we extended the meter chain by two. Then we went to drink tea on the veranda. The cat arrived late. We are frozen.
Start...Iyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
As soon as the happy Alma crossed the promised line, his indifference fled from the cat. With a striking stroke, the red cattle from the spot drove 5 meters to the side, pulling his ass out of his fist for a moment before a click.
We wept disappointed on the veranda. Alma looked older for five years.I had never seen such sorrow on the face of a dog before or after.
Two days passed without a concert.
On the third, everything repeated two meters further. Half a meter for every case. Mathematics and dressing.
I had to catch that nest at home. During the next execution of the tuffyak, Moni-ry got caught up and I managed to seize the fortress. Just a couple of hours and a broken house and a breeding cattle curl in my hands.
Without paying attention to the wrath and curse, I packed the wretch into a bag and carried him out for washing 30 kilometers away from us. I released there.
He returned badly after two weeks and was very weak. Honore also relaxed on the road. The clue was understood more over the dogs he did not mock. Even from my cat he stood behind, although the coward of Monia, when he saw the red, swelled like a ball and walked with a wool of oak for two hours. All this with the outputting of the eyes and uterine sublimation. The luzer.
In the winter, in the fierce frosts, I even let him in the basement to warm up and stay overnight.
Thanks for attention.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №99223
 15.06.2014
Is it the FSB?
and yes.
Sorry, I had a dispute with a friend. What did I do on July 16th?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99222
 15.06.2014
I add :
And if, he says, the wish of death was sent to you there, do you at least know what is written there?
XHH: Simply I answer. - "Badroom, kitchen and bathroom"
--------
I know a certain number. We in Vladik somehow did not notice the tattoo in the form of hieroglyphs, but last summer in Peter was read with other people's hands, shoulders and thighs :)
But everything is banal. Mostly they write their names, sometimes - the animals of the Chinese horoscope (most often, for some reason - the cock and monkey). Only one person saw the year of his birth, recorded in cyclical signs. was impressed.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99221
 15.06.2014
36% of women have sex on the first date. 36% of men dance striptease to their girls.
Now I know what to do on the first date for the right ending. and :-)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №99220
 15.06.2014
to this:
from ZH:
I watched television in Uzbekistan in 1982. It was a film about war.
Hitler enters, everyone zigzags and screams “Salam Aleykum, Hitler-aka!”
Hitler answered: "Salam!"
_______
A dick to go far. I live in Kazan. Remember, in the mid-1990s on local Tatar TV showed a film about VOV (maybe even the same one) in the Tatar language. Only the phrase was when Adolf appeared, (I was roaring for a long time): “Zighal, Iptashlar!” What in Tatar means “companions”.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99219
 15.06.2014
Kaviar: Good morning! Are you looking for a promoter?
We are looking for a specialist in advertising and PR.
Question: What is in these duties?
OCD: Judging by the question you do not fit us))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №99218
 15.06.2014
He was at a guest house with his father, and his wife showed her flowers in pots.
This flower is called Colonchoe.
To which the father immediately gives the phrase: -But I call him Okolohua...

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99217
 15.06.2014
In the tattoo salon I see the following picture. A couple comes in, he and she, and she asks the master if he does the inscriptions. The Master confirms what he does and gives a folder with samples of fonts. The pair focuses, minutes after 10 is defined, and it ticks into a typical Gothic font - "this".
Master: Okay, who do we do, where, how and what exactly?
She: To me, on the scroll, this is the letter.
Master : How? * lists ways of writing *
She chooses. The moment x:
What a text, write it.
This is what is in your book.
Master (and not by the eyebrow): This is an alphabet.
I think he was red. The maid just stumbled upon the master.
Really, why not? The alphabet is also letters.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №99216
 15.06.2014
I have been without my parents for six years. I’m still not happy that you can eat both chicken wings and don’t have to share it with either mom or grandmother.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99215
 14.06.2014
In the "Cinema" article:

HHH
If I write that it is not dry. Not to dry. What if you are dry? You decided to fuck. It is Web. Do not forget to dry. Before this

WOWU
Are the letters on the keyboard paid?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №99214
 14.06.2014
At home, the holiday atmosphere - his wife refused to sell cigarettes without a passport. I did not believe my word.
Dancing and singing. A little longer and the birds will begin to fly to her and the whites will run away.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna