bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №84823
 28.07.2013
We were on an oath with our brother, the old soldier built us in a row and said to the boy:
Q: How many years old?
P is 4.
Go to the army in 14 years.
Q: It does not eat!! to
I remembered you, I will come and take you, personally!
A small hysterical... 14 years without sleep...

[ + 8 - ] [11 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84822
 28.07.2013
These two:

to this:
How tired you are, commenters! It is not important to know your opinion on any matter. Stop it, please stop. With respect, a constant reader.
-----------
I hate them myself! Respect to you, plussadine!

Totally agree! This is not a forum for you! Stop your commentary! +1 is

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84821
 28.07.2013
<Vivan755> I’m talking about it! On the 009th An-140, the brake-building plant sent us three left brakes and one right. Erunda, waiting for the set on the 010 aircraft - and done correctly, there were three right brakes and one left, right.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84820
 28.07.2013
XXX: I am
XXX: I still hold the trajectory of movement
yyyy: is the trajectory probably described by the graph of the function y = sin(x)?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84819
 28.07.2013
Russian and Latin dictionaries:
to give – praebeo, praebui, praebitum...

...that is, I didn’t "lose" the wallet, I just gave it)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84818
 28.07.2013
XXX: My stomach hurts
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Girls can’t ask these questions!
YYY: What, the girls don’t bother?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84817
 28.07.2013
Do not start communicating on a dating site with the phrase "Hello, how do you do it?" or "Meet you?". Unfortunately, 95% of men write these beaten phrases to girls. Be a drop more original, and the gentle floor will pull to you.

It would be interesting to know who writes what :)
yyy: I write: "Do you like aircrafts?" and if we are going to talk about aircrafts in the next half-hour, then this is my type :)
YYY: There is something else.
Hi girl, can I meet you?
Fuck me... I won’t.
Zzzz: You can’t pick up
zzz: "Madame, I have no honor to be presented to you, but I dare to worry you with the question: Are you not interested in giving up?"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84816
 28.07.2013
Advice for those who have finished toothpaste:
You can’t push – go up!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84815
 28.07.2013
DBsh: Senya when restored the number. The manager asks me there: can you name at least the numbers of the number you want to restore? So I am CHO? Do I remember him? I said +7. They fell out.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84814
 28.07.2013
Commentary on the wake-up program:
The program, of course, is chic, but the engineer's inflamed, non-sleeping brain is invincible, solves all quests to turn off the alarm without waking up: sheep, math puzzles, cappuccino - all this without any problems. The wife laughs, and I feel that the next stage is a spoonful look.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №84813
 28.07.2013
Don’t throw money on the wind, there are other natural phenomena.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84812
 28.07.2013
The life of the German farmer Friedrich Steinbaum initially predicted no miracles. Having inherited from his father in 1923 a plot of land of 4 hectares, Friedrich continued to cultivate it, as he did all his life before. By 1925 he married successfully and had children.
The parish in the 33rd year of Hitler's coming to power did not greatly affect the way of life of the "true Arian" and his children. He still worked hard on his plot and would probably do it all his life. The war made its adjustments to the measured rural life. Frederick's two eldest sons went to the front. One was killed in 40m during the British bombing, the second - in 42m near Moscow.
The remaining three children grew up and promised to be good assistants to the father in the household. The war broke out and ended, 4 km from the lands of Friedrich, the border between the GDR and the Federal Republic of Germany was established. Frederick was in the territory of the German Federation and was pleased with it.
And then it turned out that outside Friedrich's land, the village of Warta also fell on the territory of the German Federation, which was on the border itself. And the only road from Warta to Eisenach was through the Verra River and through the territory of the newly formed GDR. The bridge was destroyed during the war and the village was actually cut off from the rest of the country. To restore the road to another, now, no one wanted the state. Between the village and the rest of Germany lay the land of Friedrich and an impenetrable mud in the pit of the river.
The mayor of the local community came to Frederick with an offer to buy out part of the land for the construction of the road to the lost village. Friedrich pretended: the time was tense, 4 km away, on that bank of the river Soviet troops stood. To sell the land meant to sell the means of subsistence, and whether he could save the money received in the event of a new conflict - there was no certainty. And Friedrich did something unheard of by the standards of Germany: he refused the Motherland when it appealed to him for help. About six months have passed since the mayor’s appointment. There were local elections on the nose and the mayor wanted to build a road, thus getting the votes of the village. Six months later, a court officer came to Friedrich and invited him to a court hearing on the question of the forced sale of part of his land in favor of the state in connection with the state necessity. The whole village of Varta and half of the entire community came to court. Frederick had to hear a lot of "good" words in his address, until the word came to him. Frederick was little spoken. He only got the Code of Laws of the Third Reich from the 35th year.
The NSDAP was primarily a socialist party and cared for the workers before the war. In the code black on white it was written that the farm has the right to guaranteed ownership of land at the rate of 0.75 hectares per person. The court was 1950, during the post-war reforms, the laws did not change in a hurry and before this law, the turn has not yet arrived. Frederick's family consisted of five people: three children and Frederick with his wife. Thus, Frederick was guaranteed to own 3.75 hectares of the four. After this, Friedrich demonstrated the Führer's decree of 1944, which mentioned the seizure of agricultural land for the needs of the front. The exception was only families who lost 2 or more members on the homeland fronts. It would seem: not the case. However, the resolution was written in the spirit of wartime and contained the wording "lifetime". Of course, after the war, the decree of the Führer did not come to the mind to cancel.
The judge spent four hours in the meeting room. His decision was unambiguous: Friedrich's land was not forced to be sold. The whole community argued with Frederick. Friends turned away from him, stopped greeting him, the inhabitants of the cut-off village of Warta when meeting him demonstrably turned away and turned from the other side.
Six months later, Frederick came to the mayor himself. His proposal was simple: he did not want to sell his land, but offered to lease it to the community. There was no special exit from the mayor and the land lease agreement for 100 years was signed.
The road was built, the village was connected to the rest of the country, and the mayor was re-elected. Little by little, the quarrel with Frederick was forgotten and his life went like before.
Today, Friedrich Steinbaum rests in a grave on a family cemetery, and his children are the richest landowners in Germany. There are approximately 125 million euros on their accounts. Who in 1950 could know that the land leased under a contract for 100 years in 50 years will grow in price in 500 times. Every year, the state pays the heirs of Friedrich about 2 million euros for the lease of land under the road. As the heirs themselves say, the greatest happiness in life is to live in a country where the laws are always observed.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84811
 28.07.2013
I watched the old Soviet film "Ironia of fate, or with light steam!" It turns out, before the sauna went not only prosecutors with bandits, but also doctors with engineers.

[ + 46 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84810
 28.07.2013
In the ivory house we now have eight girls, the youngest of which is not six months old, and one boy.Slony Sonya is the second in the end of the age, she is 9, it seems, that is, a full child.
The child squeezed on the camels, sprinkled himself with sand, looked around... and saw a pigeon. The pigeons, not knowing what was waiting for them, worked hard on the dispersal of valuable elephant weed.
In the sight of the amazed audience, Sonya, stretching her legs far and carefully (as much as possible for an elephant), began to steal to the pigeons.
I never crossed, the pigeons didn't really see the gray mountain on the chickens or just came to play too. In any case, they didn’t even take their ears until ten steps away from them, the excited Sonya crumbled into a rift, joyfully trumpeting with a rotting hood.
Volens-Nolens had to get up on the wing. Sonia followed them proudly, but a little sadly. The pigeons rounded around and discovered a new bulk of gold, where they landed. That they, fools, with diamond copies to leave.
The elephant's eyes immediately burned, and, pulling out the hood, she began the pursuit. A minute later, the elephant sounded with trumpet sounds. It sounded amazingly gentle to her, as if she was laughing, whispering.
The pigeons stubbornly returned to the ivory for another ten minutes, giving a bunch of happiness to Sonya and the crowd of zevak.
I believe that one should strive to see an elephant steal to the pigeons at least once in his life. This works very positively on the spirit.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84809
 28.07.2013
Once my mom told me how she went on dates with my dad — they sit at home, he reads something, and she is doing her crafts (binds or something else). The Romantic.
So, I went to a guy for a weekend. Evening on the couch, romantic. He reads the board game, and I code. I remembered my mother’s words. I thought...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84808
 28.07.2013
Review of ELSW Formotion Driving shoes for 32 990 re:
He barely had time to dress up, as the car had already come from the parking lot and said, "Sit down, master, we went!" I was pleasantly surprised that even Priora (lowed, of course, to asphalt, with red-painted brake supports in the front and drums in the back, with casting discs and with a spoiler) began to run like a BMW M-ka. The legs themselves press on the desired pedals, and the latter stopped falling, fuel savings - colossal, the crosses paid off on the first day, with such shoes the car just refuses to eat gasoline and feeds on the energy of Space, in general I am happy and recommend everyone to ride in such shoes - you will not regret!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84807
 28.07.2013
Have you ordered ultra-cheap SD cards in China? What is there under? The speed?
xxx: And what in the phone 4GB of all the card.. of them 2 gig card swallowed :)
I have 16g in my pack.
YYY: I hope that she has been honest?
XXX: No
XXX: Licensed
Yyy: Killer of Apsten
I am a programmer. I am not stealing software. I just steal media content.
Is this solidarity?
XXX: The Type

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №84806
 28.07.2013
to this:
xxx: I love my work... 2 hours of discussion on the topic "whether rubbing a backpack"
XXX: Three Men
_______________________
Apparently a woman wrote, and one of those who never encountered tourists or the military. Lift, they call the unloading assembly, and the topic is really important, because. This is a very convenient thing, and incorrectly fitted, and even with a backpack can really rub.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84805
 28.07.2013
The explosion of the brain.
The film "Sadko", 1952 gv, is worth 16+
Crime with murders and bodies under the draft program 0+.
Is it how?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84804
 28.07.2013
Giorgio Armani's wife is the most glamorous woman - she even has children from Armani.
Comments: He is gay, has been living with his number-friend for more than 50 years))

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