I took Karelski Balsam for the weekend. Four bottles of 275 re.

Total of 1100. In the head plays Aria – a thousand hundred, a thousand hundred... Death in the face breathes us.

There is a woman at work, her name is Alla Mikhailovna. In her position she is a businessman. A dealing process can not be stopped when, for some reason, the dealer is absent. Therefore, when Alla Mikhailovna goes on vacation, her work is entrusted to one comrade.

We call him simply the Alloimiter.

X: Fuck, no matter how much I cook an omelette, I’m still dissatisfied. It is delicious, and it seems to be simple somehow. Well eggs, well cheese, well mushrooms.
X: It seems like you need some special cheese.
Y:...or special mushrooms.

The husband and the cat are two idiots of concern. I take in the bathroom, turn - stand (the husband's cat on his arms). And then the husband, looking at the breasts, in full seriousness says to the cat: "Give you for one, and I for the other!"And it’s getting closer and closer. I was envious of the surprise! They are now sleeping together on the couch in the kitchen.

You are an idealist, Daddy.

"I am going to":

You understand how you become an adult when you stop convincing your parents that you need a powerful computer to study. And you start convincing your wife that you need a powerful computer to work.

Growing up, it was when he earned himself, and bought a computer without asking his wife.

In the circumstances of the average family, where both work, provide children and barely bring ends to ends, take and buy a gaming machine for a hundred percent of money, without consulting the family - suddenly more important than spending is, for example, a child brakes to put, this is just called infantile egoism.

I got a new employee. Young and ugly. Later in the smoking:
Director: How is he?
Master: Hamit as if he had already received his salary.

The Poroshenko administration said that Canada was founded by Ukrainians.

You should be small...

Look at the planet from space. The continents are yellow, the oceans are blue. Color of the flag of Ukraine.

The earth was created by the Ukrainians.

When I passed by a group of boys 10-12 years old, I heard:
First, what are we playing? As last time?
The second: let’s go.
Repair the generators!
Third, you are a maniac!
O_O

"On the new Russian banknotes proposed to depict Manpuneer".

Well, then, when you read the note, it becomes clear that it is a geological monument in the

It is one of the Seven Wonders of Russia.

But the first reaction from the name is that of ох@eвайтунг.

xxx for spiders. Why did Spider-Man shoot with a web from his hands and not from his ass?
Yyy: He probably was a Man-Handy.

In the office building where I worked, a rough gym was opened on two floors above. I learned this first because I saw the trainers dragging. I registered, even a month passed (for example – I did not tell my colleagues that I was going to the hall) Since the advertisement was just launched, in the hall, I was expected to do one I. And two sad coaches – because I was really alone. The coach were men specifically healthy and pumped, Schwartz is resting. I managed to make friends with them because they had no friends in the room. I told them who I am, where I work, what we sell. I left, I mean, a month, and, as I expected, scored a big screw for further training. But the coaches apparently got bored and they went looking for me around the building so they could have a company, even in the evening for a couple of hours.

I am sitting, working, knocking at the door. Our office was large, I was at the table in the corner, I was not visible from the door. Enter these two - in sports shorts and T-shirts - in the office space immediately became twice as small. Is Dmitry Takayotovich working here? All our managers are looking at me, trying to figure out why, where and how they are going to kill me. I wasn’t confused either – I looked so carefully over the angle and said:



Fuck the collectors, they found it.



I go to the center of the hall. I say to the men, wait behind the door, I’ll go out now. They go out. We are all in Aachen. Let’s say, call the police. No, I say, it’s such a frostbite, it can explode the office. I went, kiss everyone, don’t mention the trouble. He went out, went with them to the side, told them everything, stunned. Well, to consolidate the effect decided to finally touch my collective.



I go back to the office, and on the threshold loudly like this, towards the coaches:



No more questions? Or is someone incomprehensible? I can explain again, more explicitly.



- No, no, Dmitry, sorry, we all understood, sorry, we will not bother you anymore, we are away, you are a low tribute. There will be problems, call me.



For the rest of the day, I was praised several times by the bosses, two of our girls - an accountant invited me to coffee, a coworker - a colleague repayed the debt.

A year ago I had to go to a meeting with the child, he went to 1st class. Well, as it goes, parents began to imagine, I am the mother or father of such a child divorced (a), married, married. And now imagine: 34 people, 3 men, 2 grandmothers, 3 married. The rest are divorced. This is Pepez comrades, where is the world going to peace?

Hieroglyphika is an extremely unusual representative of the Roguelike genre. There is no text in the game entirely. Even in the menu you will not find a single word."

No such user: Well, here is the myth that modern games weigh dozens of gigs because of textures and clips. The text, Karl, is in the text! Here it is not, and look at it, only 72MB.

There is in Sony smartphones (not surprising that in others too, it was just the case with Sony), in the gallery such a thing. It’s called “the best moments of your life,” or something in that spirit. The smartphone processes photos taken over a week/month, and under sweet romantic music shows you a slide show.

Every scratched time my smartphone hit me with a man’s tear when I took it in my hands, opened the gallery, clicked on “Best Moments of the Week,” and it showed me pictures of server cabinets from different angles under sweet music, stickers with serial books on candles, network sockets, a couple of monitors, when lazy to make a screen, and so on. In the end, I decided that I couldn’t suffer so much anymore, and gave the smartphone to my wife, and took the simple Rnylirs, who just silently digests the photos I’ve taken, instead of stepping every time over my “adventure-filled life.”

I work as a nurse in a gerontological center. The eighty-six-year-old patient asks what time.

Without twenty hours, I answered.

Well, I won’t die in 20 minutes, and there’s already lunch!

P.S. Don’t lose your sense of humor, friends.

xxx: About 50k a month for the maintenance of the horse nonsense, I have a vegan colleague has a horse, so it costs 12k a month. A big enough city.
Yyy: This vegan even through a colleague told everyone here that he is vegan. His mother’s foot, this is a new level!

From the beginning they say that they are not like everyone else, but at the same time they demand traditional values like everyone else.

Read the Constitution of any modern state. Usually there citizens are equal in rights and duties regardless of their beliefs, unless it is the country of the victorious Sharia. In our country there is no legal separation on sexual orientation on paper, but in fact there is. Here is bringing the situation to what is written in the main law of the country, they want. Not they either. In some cases, women are the second type, in others, men. In one situation, the elderly have priority, in another, the children. And in theory, everyone is equal, if you read what is written in the laws, without looking at reality.

A candlestick without a temple does not bring money.

To the question about "laughing at the word "lope"

The famous humorist Stanislav Jerzy Lec escaped from the concentration camp twice. He was caught. After the second time, he was given a spade to dig his own grave. With this spade he killed the guard, dressed his uniform and fled again, this time - successfully. He later said, “The Romantic would find the decorations suitable, and died. I am a humorist. I killed him with a spade.”

Once, a young girl, Ira, approached Sisadmin and asked him how to save the entire Internet on a disc. Siddhartha laughed and forgot.
Irene has not forgotten.