bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №85163
 04.08.2013
Your rabbit is Navalny. They are planted in the evening, released in the morning.
Yyy: not only naval, but also nasal (

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85162
 04.08.2013
I’m not a programmer, of course, and I don’t know how real it is, but my dream is to ban "Ctrl+V" and so on. Add a quote window. Re-writing someone else’s message for your incredibly ingenious and unique response is 90% likely to be wrong.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85161
 04.08.2013
The morning. Two in bed.
Let us curl your ears and put your ear in.
At 50 years old, he may...
She: No, if you're going to be a cool macho now with a earpiece, then at 50 years old you're just an old dude!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №85160
 04.08.2013
I came across a phrase in the license agreement:
You are not included in the lists of special categories of citizens (terrorists, drug dealers, etc.) by p.Approved by the U.S. Treasury "
Immediately introduced such a bearded drug dealer Wahhabite with AK on his knees, putting the purchased software on the licensed seven... So, he reads these lines and this:
Fuck...

(The B.V.)

[ + 17 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85159
 04.08.2013
Yes, the citizens...
I went into a dull shit...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85158
 04.08.2013
What can we talk about with you? You don’t have a girl or a p...

[ + 48 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85157
 04.08.2013
Response to mail.ru

The rocket is repelled from the ground at the expense of fuel, but how is its further movement carried out? The atmosphere of the earth is in the vacuum, in the vacuum does not retain the inertia and attraction of the earth, i.e. Movement beyond the atmosphere is not possible.

Commentary :
You said a very stupid thing. You are a stupid man. I recommend you take the side of the RPC and consider that the missiles are just hitting the sky.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85156
 04.08.2013
Such an impression that the audience stopped distinguishing subtle humor and flat.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85155
 04.08.2013
X: Can I buy a wrapped camera? I will be a photographer.
Buy the royal! You will be a musician...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85154
 04.08.2013
All smokers in electric cars go to the gas chamber.

Non-smokers too

XXX: Non-smokers and so on

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №85153
 04.08.2013
I mean, I am in the bus. People don’t have so much education. I walked out the window, looked at the people in the salon and there saw long, smooth, slim legs! I admired. I looked at that over my legs - shorts (you know, such cut as I can't, and the pockets look), only thought that the ass was low - to catch for nothing. The back is nothing like that, even the brushes from the beetle can not be seen (maybe even without a underwear walk!!Here is the current hair dirty for a girl, although a blonde, and it is... where is the chest? Why is this face like a man with a scarf? Where are the breasts? The man!? to
I went home and washed my eyes with soap.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №85152
 04.08.2013
I work a finishing machine with a concrete partner Volodey on a very and very high-voltage substation. When passing a short course of TB, Vove was punished: "Cop carefully: a cable may lie under the ground!"
I’m back from lunch, Volodya’s already sprinkled with a scarf, he’s all working. Suddenly he stopped and began to shake. The spectacle is horrible. I run to Volchik 50 meters, looking with my eyes for some rod and a traitor's cable, into which the poor man was wrapped with a spade and which this rod needs to be thrown away. I run, the woods tremble, the birds sing, the flowers smell.
In general, my partner in the headphones listened to the mouse and the dubstep danced. I owe it to my ice cream. For not beating.

[ + 14 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85151
 04.08.2013
Do you have your brains okay, boss of heroes? When for an hour and a half you try to solve the problem of some idiot who doesn’t work, and instead of cooperation you get hysterical, I have two higher education, I don’t have to know where my router is! I don’t have to know – sausage. The provider provides a line, and what happens in the apartment, where the cable has already been conducted, and what it is connected to, the sapport does not concern.
and ==
Are you still working? Then we go to you (c)
With this attitude toward people and your work, you must start every morning, raising one-and-a-half-hour praises to all existing gods and other transcendent powers in the history of religions for the fact that you have a job and no one has (so far) stripped your disgusting tongue for your hysterical verbal diarrhea. And every day finish by studying your job instructions and the contract under which you were hired.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85150
 04.08.2013
I did not resist:
Here is :
This is:
Who is reproducing?
Vasilyevsky
Interested in? Simply
The cock carries an egg, and
The frog squeezes him.
It is logical and
It is obvious :)
It is...
Facepalm, where are you?
I saw cockroaches.
Do you have eggs???? to

Didn’t the fact that the frog squeezed him bother you?

He, apparently, is not embarrassed even by the fact that from this egg the basil is peeled.)

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85149
 04.08.2013
A woman delivered and gave birth to a healthy baby without coming out of a coma
Comment: "Finally the obstetricians had a pregnant woman who followed all their recommendations"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85148
 04.08.2013
here

I asked a question some time ago. Maybe someone here knows. What is Longolers?

taking into account. That they eat the past, they ruin the unfulfilled dreams.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №85147
 04.08.2013
XXX: I’ve already regretted breaking up with him.
YYY: What is it?
You know, he was always unpredictable. I made things I could not expect, made me laugh and walk all day with a smile on my face... But the moment I told him I didn’t want to meet him, it was just shit! At first he sadly asked “why are you so with me?” and then in the middle of the park he began to roar his throat, fell on his knees before me and begged for a moment for me to reconsider and that he loved me... and then the next second he got up from his knees, smiled and said “yes, okay.” Go to my ass" I turned and left. I stood there for another five minutes and thought it was a fucking thing and who just dropped anyone.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №85146
 04.08.2013
He smoked too long (Been Smoking So Long), Rocking Around Christmas Tree (Rocking Around Christmas Tree), Ocean's Way. But all the hits hit the song Guano Apes - Innocent Greed, which was translated as... "Innocent greed", however))

I translated the song Moon River, for a couple of unknown words, I put the entire text into an online translator. The line "Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker" translated "Oh, dream maker, you are a heart breaker". Such a cyberpunk!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85145
 04.08.2013
A beautiful romance you will remember for a lifetime unless it ended in a wedding.

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №85144
 04.08.2013
One day I was bitten by a shrimp. It feels like a stick has been hit. But this is only the beginning. Then the hand swelled. Incredible itching, plus severe headache. Temperature below 40, chills, sweat cold. It passed in two weeks. For the first three days I thought the horses were moving.

And here I am somehow sitting, sorry, in the village sort. This beauty flies with the size of a finger. And I’m automatically the newspaper – the grandmother! And it falls... in my pants. And there is lost. Fuck it!! I have a shirt in my pants! I remember what I had with my hand... On my feet – officer boots and soldiers caliphs (at the country to walk - better not to come up with). How I got out of that hole, I don’t remember. I felt already barefoot, without pants, I stood in front of the sorter. And in my pants this monster!
He beat his pants with a scarf for fifteen minutes.
I woke up, standing with my naked ass, with my spat on the front, and the stealing voice of my wife from behind:
Dear, why are you doing so?

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