IRL-adventures, the mill))))
She left the gym today, dressed in the dressing room, the ladies came to the school of oriental dance. And one (the first), that is, the classic blonde in appearance, tells the rest (there are 5 pieces):
Oh, today is such a bad day, it all started with the fact that I forgot something there and had to go back. I know if you come back, it will be bad. And Tanka has a note – if she puts her shirt through her legs, then the whole week will be bad!
I have already fallen on this phrase, but it was not the end. She continues:
Well, I came back, and all, all the day no one. I even broke my iPhone, and it broke so much that I had to go to the store where I bought, to carry repair.
And then her friend with a deeply thoughtful voice says:
I know what you have!
I have internally prepared for the options.
That’s the tachskrin! I was told that when the iPhone is broken, you need to make a touchscreen.
What did you do with him?
I didn’t know before, but now I know. I just connect it to the computer and pump all the photos!
Moscow, wow >_< I thought they didn’t exist

How is Feng Shui better to place statues of Buddha and Osiris, an icon, a pebble house and an African mask?

Turn on the TV. Another investigation. The dictionary: "The tail did not come out of Gennady’s head". O_O

C Forum: on the situation with Euromaidan.
Well, I know that the ruler of the haunted... and whom to replace? The new one will come and it will be even worse. Changed to Y. And Nihua.

Oh well. Then I’ll change to YU.
And I whisper.

Who is behind the bus according to "Kyiv", Maidan", "Ukraine"? At least for a month?

The welcoming speech from the Department of Oncology began with the words: “Colleagues, every third of you will die from cancer.”
It is positive ?

Comments are burning. Biathlon, participates athlete by the name of Chevalier.
Gusev::"Reading the name of Shevalier, so I want to shout (in the voice of Boyarsky):"Anastasia, where are the papers?!!!and "

From the discussion of the drying process in the washing machine, in the market:
The steam, when injected with cold water, is condensed and removed by the pump.It all resembles the operation of the second circuit in a nuclear reactor.

I arrived from Dominica yesterday. The customs officer asked to open the suitcase and found chocolate in the suitcase. I asked to open one, I opened it, and he began to smell it. There was an insurmountable desire to ask him what it smells like.

Moving to the Village:
A stronger and stronger feeling is that under the village of TS does not mean barley hibrids in the forests of the Northern Urals, but the exemplary farms of Western Germany with the cover of the magazine "Animal Farming", where the right Aryan farmers spit their chickens on the scented seed, and at this time the robotic "Bouronka-2000 Turbo" of the production of BMW pumps milk directly to the factory, not forgetting to transfer hundreds of kilometers to the platinum "Visa" of the owner.

It turned out that the yuan genius found this function and instead of a rod showed the tablet a cock. Technique did not withstand such infringement and blocked the function of password change in general.
Now the proud frightener will recognize his master not by mouth, but exclusively by dignity. It is :)

And in a couple of years the cock will grow up and the tablet will refuse to admit the owner at all)))))))

By the way, doctor, I am absolutely serious: and what can be called the best gift to a doctor, besides money, naturally?

< I do not know. Well drill, for example, a good gift)))

Now I know what to give to my gynecologist!

I live in Israel and work at the airport. Sitting in a smoker, a man approached, in a hat, bearded, orthodox in one word. I asked to call, I gave it, it wasn’t difficult for me. Called not abroad, inside the country, when at the end of the conversation he asked if I needed to pay for it, I was a little shocked, even asked a couple of times. You are greedy :D

Do you seriously think the comparison between men and women is appropriate? A man at 40 is the greatest flower in every sense. And the grandmother at 40 is an old rotting fat ruin with rotten teeth and curly breasts. So go to that light, prostitute.

We saw the dawn above the veins.
A turquoise puze over the slippery rubber of stuck relatives. Honour:"We are still the one!...", and the more under the watermelon on the half-sixth, the more honorary (sublimation is called). The hair continuously falls, pointing to the autumn of life with relentless certainty. The unstoppable desire is boring to teach everyone, proudly pulling up the cowards. The ruthless struggle with children for their rights to plasma in the conditions of a separate family...
Open your eyes, you don't even live to retirement, only ruins are left, and you all think of yourself as young beauties.

Urgently stopped fasting the Ananas and Maidan

And about Martian, I’ll tell you.

Mom and aunt call on Skype and aunt tells her about her daughter’s husband – “Oh, he is sitting at the computer all day, dancing, it would be better to drink!”

The man works, contains a family, kind, fun, fun, smart, interesting. He loves to play dances. Better to drink. The fucking. The fucking. The fucking.

We really did it all.

cute_offer(d): may he have broken up? Do you know how hard it is to see your man play when he has cancer?

Talk about delayed products:

xxx: I have a friend who has eaten blenders in a cafe, so he has been in the hospital for two weeks!
YYY: You didn’t pay, right?

Diz Sheldon
We decided to find out the prices for parachute jumping. I went to the Saratov website, I read the advertisement: "Start your journey to heaven with us!"
I don’t want to jump with a parachute in Saratov.

She ran to the toilet, washed off the cup, and there a secretary and a girl from the staff are discussing something. Well, I go to them in a bunch, we stand, bla bla bla, here the door opens, by us with a stone rod admin passes, enters the cabin and calmly does his business. We are all in total stupor.
I am hey hey! Nietzsche, what are we standing here?! to
He, from the cabin - What is a men's toilet?

The most terrible thing is to suddenly emerge one morning from a dream in which you have lived all your life.