<vova> Did you correctly understand that you are the manager on our move to another part of the office?
<Leo> Rather: I need your seats, so I’m the manager on your departure. Coming here is not my area of responsibility.

5 years ago, I met a cute girl, and direct love at first sight. Here we meet for a month, I went somehow to the store with a red bird for food. I browse past the rows and notice my girlfriend with some man in the years, I approach closer, I understand from the conversation that it is her father. I decided to meet, I approached, a whole girlfriend in the cheek, but from surprise, I froze, tightly holding her hand to her father. He immediately said to me, “Hello Maxim,” and I with the unintelligent face, “I am not Maxim, I am Oleg.” The man thoughtfully - it is strange to me, my daughter said now we will buy products and go to my boyfriend Maxim...

Is a long stay in the bathroom a sign of infantility?
Infantile people watch cartoons in order to get away from reality, in the bathroom they also leave the problems and responsibilities of the outside world, for example, from the duty to remove mouse cacao from the ham or to smooth the bedding.

I read a lecture at a magazine, in the break I heard a funny act of the birth of journalistic material - this is how journalism works.

I have a new guy!
And again? How they call?
It is a secret...
- Hey, all, she had a new man again at night and she didn't even know his name! and :)

University smoker near the camp, where classes are held, mostly, with technicians.

Prepod on Funkan, outrageously: after all, a good student on pairs must be attentive!

Unknown undergraduate, joyfully: does not eat, a good student in pairs just has to be!

The philosophy of philosophy, complaint: Well, at least a bit...

I'm crazy and want to buy the first witch.
Q: Is it only the first one?
XXX: I missed the first
I have an unclosed herald.

The daughter asked to put a spiral in order to go to a pioneer camp
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I didn’t go to the camp when I was a child :(

My main discovery on the third decade: stupid people don’t look stupid! Moreover, they also know how to speak, read and write, they study, go to work and generally to some extent succeed in life. You learn to distinguish them only by 25 years by some circumstantial signs - logical mistakes in reasoning, self-love, "black-and-white" thinking, "dwarf stubbornness", turbidity, a tendency to envy... If I understood all this at least seven years... But the nerves spent in childhood and youth you will not return and you will not get rid of complexes.

Imagine a restaurant where neither the chef, nor the technician, nor the director themselves eat. They also demonstratively go to another restaurant and send the children there. was presented? Would you go to this restaurant? And now think about Russian healthcare, education and public transportation.

xxx: fucking, I postponed this letter to the ambassador for a moment (((( now I can't concentrate, the child nearby

Yyy: let it help, adult already, what trousers to wipe
I was at his age, he was.
Young people..

xxx: ha ha ha ha
He is 9 months

I remember it as if it was yesterday.

xxx: he only knows the word "give, uncle, yes"

yyy: in the case of a customer who has the money we want, his vocabulary should be enough.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to point
YYY: In the exact order that you pointed out.

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Just happened. A call from an unknown number. Next I am I, D is a girl.



D is Takayotakoitovich.

I am yes.

D - You are concerned about the SB HouseFinance Bank (a well-known microfinance bank). Could you tell me FIU?



I remember a body that a few months ago tried to get into our organization as a guard, but was in the first two hours of the internship thrown out for theft. FIO’s body was very unusual, so I remembered.



I - He tried to get to work with us, but he was thrown out the first day, because he was unclean on his hand.

D - He indicated your phone as a second contact.

I – He deceived you. I have nothing to do with him.

D – He indicated your number.

I... Have you checked? Called to me?

D is OK. He does not respond to calls. Give him information.

I – Yes of course. It will cost 10,000 rubles.

D in the sense? How is it?

You ask me to do you a favor. To find a stranger to me and pass on information from you. I am ready. It will cost 10,000 rubles.

D – He indicated your number.

I - We have already talked about it. He deceived you.

D – Give him...

I am 10,000 rubles.



He dropped the phone.



They called again twice in the course of half an hour (by voice others). They were very upset by my mercantilism.

Lifehack of the day: use the perforator is 2 times cheaper at night, if a two-zone electricity tariff is set.

I went for lunch now. Complete meals are 160 rubles. Everywhere there is tea. I didn’t want tea, so I said:

Instead of tea, compot.

- Maybe, but then there will be no complex, we will count separately on the dishes.

How much will succeed?

by 205 rubles

How much does compot cost?

10 r.

Then I have a complete complex with tea and compot.

and OK. It is 170 r.

The chief energy supplier of a small enterprise calls the electricity supplier on the occasion of the sudden cessation of its supply:

What happened to you there? The accident? God, I need to be somewhat more careful, or I have one electrician here almost with a heart attack. He hanged the spotlight in a new warehouse, turned it on for inspection, the spotlight blinked once, and the whole factory disappeared.

At work, the test was conducted on the knowledge of the rules: "The mask should be worn by sick employees or healthy employees?"

During the period of viral infections, the mask is used by healthy employees working with visitors for their own protection. And the sick? Patients are not allowed to work.

Today is parents’ wedding day. My sister and I congratulated them on Skype.
Mom: You know, we have a canvas wedding!
That’s why I gave your mother a knife canvas!

If the scientist’s salary is barely enough for food, then how is his research and development different from the cage where he worked for food?

We go shopping with my wife. We have come to the tomatoes, and for those we need, there are no valuables. Everyone around came out - no sellers, no valuers. I take the tomato in a joke, show it to the surveillance camera and say as clearly as possible, “What is the price?“”
Within a couple of seconds, a loud communication to the entire store clearly whispered with a voice: "119 rubles 99 copies."

How to improve health care in Russia? and simply. Let Medacademies graduates treat their teachers for the first three years.

For the first time in 60 years, the Italian national team failed to participate in the World Cup in football.

The Ministry of Sports of the Russian Federation said that Russia (and its hackers) are not involved!